Parents never call me

[RJP01]

Hi. Just wanted to ask a question to see if others experience the same. Do your parents call you? My parents are fit, healthy and able people yet for whatever the reason they never ever call me. Ever. They always expect me to call them. I've unfortunately have attended two funerals recently 1 week apart which they are fully aware of and yet they still haven't bothered to call me or message to see how I am. Wondering if anyone else has this?

Very, very, very rarely. In fact, if they do call I immediately assume something awful has happened. They didn't even bother to call me on my 50th birthday last year and I have to heavily hint (via Messenger) that they call my DCs (their grandchildren FFS) on their birthdays.

They call my sisters. I'm the middle child and I moved quite far away, so rarely see them anyway. They clearly favour my younger sister and her DCs. In fact, it's really quite hurtful.

Many thoughtless things have been said by my mum - who seems to have no emotional intelligence whatsoever. I once tried to tell my mum how she made me feel but she got into a huff and told me off for "criticising (her) parenting."

I do call them but they spend the whole conversation praising my Golden Child nephews and never ask after my own DCs.

It's very sad.

omg, that's my Mum too. When I mentioned it she said "well, London's a big city". True, but...

Excuse me, are you me? 😅

I'm NC with my father (last remaining parent) after years of this + a horrible childhood so that's a tricky dynamic to explain. My bro is very low contact with him too.

DH struggles a lot with his parents. He's talked on numerous occasions with them about how he calls every other day and gets nothing back. If he ever missed a day he'd get a huge onslaught of guilt tripping and resentment. His parents seem to put a huge level of importance on sending birthday and Christmas cards, but won't get into a conversation with him whenever he's said "a phone is a two way device, you could call me too"

His mother has no trouble in calling DH's daughter several times a day, constantly texting her, stalking her socials and inviting her to their house for dinner several times a week, DH hasn't been invited to his parents for 5 years now. MIL even removed herself from the family WhatsApp then started another one excluding DH with both of his kids. Sadly MIL has very successfully alienated DH's daughter against him on several occasions and undermined him every time he's tried to talk to MIL about it. My in laws are truly batshit sadly

I come from the landline generation. My parents didn't have a phone until after I'd left home, and they only ever phoned in an emergency, or for a very specific purpose (dinner Sunday? 1pm? Good. Bye) as otherwise it cost too much.

Chatting on the phone was just not something they were ever comfortable with, even when I called them (because then it was costing me money that would be better spent on myself or my kids), in their view).

I WhatsApp with my adult kids and their partners regularly (anywhere from one quick message to long rambling conversations depending how busy we all are) but don't phone that often - maybe once a month.

These responses are interesting My DM (deceased) rarely to ever called but she did like to talk on the phone. My DF calls occasionally but he has a really really hard time hearing female voices over the phone and it’s challenging to have conversation I talk with my DD and DS weekly minimum Sometimes daily sometimes couple times a week. And of course texts.. often daily I things I have read or seen and they do the same. It’s very important to me to continue to sustain my very close relationship with my DC and I’m hoping frequent phone calls and texts will help even tho we live in different areas

My mother sends a text message every 3 - 4 months. She actually rang me a year ago to say that a delivery I arranged was late. It was a shock that she rang rather than texting. Prior to that I genuinely can't remember how many years it was since she rang me. We rarely speak. Her choice.

My mother never calls me. I dutifully ring her once a week and she always asks what I want, then tells my siblings (one of whom she's seen once in seven years) that I never contact her. I live abroad but still visit her three times a year.

Nope! Only ever hear from my mum when she wants something. Last time I saw her was when I invited her and partner for Christmas dinner. She came round, and before we had even got to end of dinner she said she should get home soon. I’ve given up calling her now tbh

This was my mother. I remember the last year we invited them and as I put the main course on the table she was reminding me they needed a “doggy bag”, they ate and went home soon after. This is one of many reasons I walked away from her her and my dad. The only time she phoned was if she wanted money, when I called her she was too busy to chat.

Yep - my son had picked them up, bought them round and had to literally 10 mins after dinner take them home! Never again. The thing is with my mum I just assumed that this was as she’s got older but I do wonder now whether I have had rose tinted glasses on and actually this is how she’s been all the time

I realised the scales had fallen from my eyes and my mum had always been like this but I’d never realised. I would never advise anyone to go NC with their parents as it’s a very personal choice and for good reason a lot of the time. Sometimes it just takes the last one thing to make you take that back step.

My mum won't call me - she knows my life is way busier. We speak most weeks and WhatsApp a couple more times. I don't doubt her love. My Dad doesn't know what WhatsApp is and was the only person who used the landline, which no longer exists.