Is it my stuff? Because if it's mine I'm burning it

[Drowningincokezero]

I have a new exBF as of this morning since I've found him sexting another woman. He was all set to move in and has filled my house with his furniture, tools and other stuff in advance. It's all excess to my requirements - the plan was to sell it on, just store it for now.
He now wants it back since I've told him this morning that we're over, but I really feel like I owe him no favours. I've so far said that he's welcome to it but neither he nor his family members are welcome at the house. To be honest I'm feeling really proud of how strong I'm being. Seeing any one of them, or even more so him, would crush me. I'm expecting him to arrange for a neutral person to collect it at some point.
But I really want to take scissors to his clothes, throw water over his artwork, or even burn the whole lot! Maybe it's enough just to get this out there in written form, but I really don't want to take this lying down. He's taken me for an absolute fool. The typical mistaking my kindness for weakness and the anger in me wants to show him how wrong he was. So far I've acted with dignity throughout and know that I'm better off without him. But man, the urge is strong... What would you do?

No you can't destroy his belongings. That would be criminal damage.

You can't destroy his stuff without getting into trouble.

You can cover everything in that teeny tiny glitter which is impossible to get off though.

No don't do that.

Amazing typo there @TankFlyBossWalkJamNittyGrittyIAmFromAMidSizeCity I'm afraid I laughed!

I don’t think you can destroy his belongings… don’t you have to give him a certain length of time to arrange to collect them?
But it would be such a pity if they weren’t in the same condition he thought he’d left them in…let’s hope he has pictures to prove they didn’t have rips& tears or parts missing 😉

I did correct it, but I should have left it really.

A stiff is also going be destroyed with glitter 🤣

While you may not like it I cant see that without a very good reason you can prevent him from coming to take the stuff either.

Also anything that looks like intentional damage could well find you in trouble and quite rightly so

What sort of furniture stuff that needs a van or will go in the back of car?

You can't destroy it but could pay for a man and a van to take it to a storage facility you pay for a month and give him notice if you don't want anyone in your house. Suck up the cost as payment to get rid of him. Check what happens if he doesn't pick it up by the end of the lease whether they'll charge you or sell it.

Thanks all, I am and will continue to act with grace and be the bigger person, as both he and I know that he has lost a lot more than just some possessions. I think he's just one of those men for whom one woman's attention will ever be enough.
I'll look into the storage facility and he can count himself lucky.

I do understand your feelings here, but... damaging or getting rid of his stuff will only mean he hangs around in your life for longer (trying to get compensation etc).

Plus, yes, I'm pretty sure it's illegal.

What's the point of creating more work for yourself by moving it all into storage?. Give him a time & date that's convenient to come and collect his belongings.

Do you have a garage? When my ex left, I and my son put all his belongings in refuse bags and stuck it all in the garage. When he came to collect it, he was shocked and insisted on going through the house. I sat in the living room and waited til he left then sobbed. But it was cathartic. I also ripped up our wedding photos and put his half in the bags too. No regrets.

Why spend time, hassle and money on his stuff? Tell him a day that suits you that you will be putting it all outside and then it’s up to him to come for it. You don’t owe him anything

You keep your head held high and get it out all out by posting here.

I know it's very tempting to destroy his things, but you know you are the better person.

The threat of doing it feels good though I'm sure.

Great suggestion from pp re the storage locker.

His loss OP. He doesn't deserve you.

Grow up and leave it on the door step.

Bin bag and leave outside tell him to collect and not to knock, if it's not collected then you will dispose.

I remember I had an ex that still hadn't collected his stuff after 4 months! So I tipped the lot.

Just fart on his clothes

When i ended things with my last bf i gave him a date to collect his stuff otherwise id put it outside in bin bags

The date passed and k put it all outside and told him if it wasnt gone in 48 hours, the bin men would collect on and it would bd in landfill.

He sent his daughters while I was at work with hours to spare

I've so far said that he's welcome to it but neither he nor his family members are welcome at the house.

Are his family members involved in this somehow?

Box the lot. Store it for two weeks. Tell him after that you will assume he doesn't want it and these items have been abandoned.

Men like this like to come back to get their stuff to mess with your head. Hang tough

Good you’re being the bigger person ❤️

Not 👏 Me 👏

You’re moving into MY house and your cheating on me (it’s more than sexting I guarantee you) the day, I found out you have 24hrs to get your belongings, after that’s it’s going outside for the rubbish collection.

The very good reason he can’t come to her house is that she said so and since it’s her property, he has zero right to be there. In fact, if he turns up when he’s been told not to, she can call the cops on him. She cannot destroy his stuff though. That’s would be a criminal offence. She can however arrange for his stuff to be taken to him and this is what she should do. OP, round up his stuff, tell him to hire a man in a van and get it delivered to him and he pays at the other end. The best way to enact revenge is to get rid of him, block him and never see or speak to him again, then have a happy life.

Just clean the toilet with his toothbrush & let him know he (or relative if not him) are welcome to collect his items on [insert date and time that works for you].

It isn’t worth you energy carrying this on more. He doesn’t care for you, if he did, he’d have been faithful. You’ve dodged a bullet, stay strong.

I agree with all PP who say that you should be the bigger person, but is there any possibility of telling him "all your things will be on the driveway at 9 am Friday" and then it is up to him to organise himself to collect?

It would be a terrible shame if people were to just help themselves should he be late...

Just a word of warning - many men use stuff as a reason to stay in contact with you and to have an opportunity to wheedle their way back in. To protect yourself emotionally, you need to take control in getting all his crap out. Do it in one go, set the terms for collection, and do not leave that door ajar for him. Good luck!

I remember reading someone on here had peed on her ex's clothes.

👏