How did you find out that they cheated on you?

[Gabitule]

(This thread is not intended to cause any distress so if you’ve been cheated on and this is a very painful memory, you should perhaps avoid this thread)

For everyone else who are perhaps a bit more detached from the pain of the betrayal, I’m curious to know how you found out that you were being cheated on, if you suspected it, how long it had been going on, etc.
I’ll start:

1. I found out my first boyfriend cheated because he told me about it once we broke up (for different reasons). He told me how, whilst I was working night shifts, he used to sleep with my best friend whom I had invited to live with us when she split up with her own bf. Cheers bestie! 😀
2. In my next serious relationship, I was unpacking my bf’s travel bag who had just returned from a trip abroad. Inside the bag I initially found a drawing of a man sitting on an armchair naked, with his penis erect. The name on top of the drawing (with an arrow leading to the naked man) was my bf’s name. When I confronted him my bf said that he had made the drawing. So he drew himself naked, hard, and made sure to name the drawing. Hmmm. I wasn’t convinced. I then found a hotel room reservation on his name and the name of a woman…I guess she was the real artist 😀.
3. the next one wasn’t very clever 😀. I came home from 10 days abroad visiting my family to find condoms in his wash bag. As we were not using condoms, and I knew for a fact that he didn’t have any in his wash bag before I went away, I obviously asked him about them. He kept responding ‘’I took the condoms out of my wash bag when we stopped using them’’. And I kept saying ‘’yes, I understand that, but why did you put them back in while I was away?’’. And he kept giving me the same answer about why he had taken then out of his wash bag 😂😂. He wasn’t even smart enough to come up with some silly excuse like ‘’oh, I was tidying up my ‘’man drawer’’ and didn’t know where to put them’’.
4. the next one hurt the most. It ripped my heart out. We were on a romantic weekend away and I noticed he was extremely preoccupied with his phone. I genuinely didn’t suspect anything but at night his phone was charging next to my side. I couldn’t sleep and a little voice kept asking me to check his phone (I knew his password, this was before Face ID). I looked at his messages for only a few seconds and saw some nasty recent messages from his ex, shaming him, calling him names. I immediately closed the phone without reading anything else. I couldn’t figure out why his ex, whom he had split up 1.5 years previously, was so angry with him. Perhaps she was crazy, just like he said 🤣🤣. To cut the long story short, over the next few days tiny little hints (like things he had previously said or bought which felt unusual) fell in place and I realised something was going on with his ex. I found her on LinkedIn and I contacted her….Turns out that they were having an affair, he took her with him during a weekend abroad for work the weekend before our romantic weekend away. I was too curious so I asked her to tell me more details of their affair. Perhaps I shouldn’t have done that as what I found out killed me. She showed me messages that he’d sent to her - for example I’d wake up early to iron his shirt and make his coffee and the moment he left my house he’d text her to invite her for breakfast to a posh place, a place he never took me to. Or he would buy me a book for Xmas but offer to buy her a designer bag. Once, he gave me a more substantial present, only for me to find out from his ex that he had actually brought the present for her but she rejected it. Lots of similar things. The extremely weird thing is that he didn’t want to be with her either, he just wanted her to want him. She was also very hurt. Sick man but I can’t ever forgive him, I hope he rots in hell.

Oh, how am I going to find out if my bfs are cheating from now on as everyone is using face id to lock up their phones 🤣.

I can’t think of others now but I’m sure there are more that I didn’t catch out. Unfortunately my relationships have a tendency of being cut short by external factors 😉. And, not that it matters in the slightest, but I am genuinely attractive, playful, tall, still a size 8… It amuses me that men would want to cheat on me

Μay I ask why you didn’t leave him?

My sister in law caught her down in her basement with her husband’s friend. That’s how I found out

Four month relationship; he had been keen for me to meet his parents, then suddenly wasn't. Asked myself why. This lead to me having suspicions he'd joined a swinging website, based on what I knew of his history, so I created a fake profile, and yep, found his profile - created since we'd been together.
Drove the several hours to his house, mid-week, to dump him and collect my things. Took his phone while I was there, and went through messages. At the beginning, and towards the end, of our relationship, he'd been trying to arrange hook-ups with his female friends.
Also noted that his search history was cleared, even though he wasn't expecting me, and I wasn't due to see him for another couple of days. I won't go into details, but I started adding things up, and reported my suspicions to Crimestoppers. I have no idea if they acted on it.
And all because I felt it was odd that he suddenly vague about me meeting his parents.

I had an anonymous letter sent to our home. Sent by him.
She texted him on his work phone whilst I was searching his car for more evidence.

They should've just told me, but they loved the drama 😁