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Dating After 50

96 replies

Gr8white · 20/01/2025 16:32

Hey. I just spent Christmas entirely alone and started thinking (again) about joining a dating website. I was married for over 20 years and have been single for the last decade of so. I don't tend to meet anyone new and everyone I know seems to be coupled up. Don't get me wrong, at over 50yrs old now, I long ago stopped imagining walking down the aisle again, it would just be nice to have someone special in my life. Does anyone have any tips on dating websites? I'd be so grateful to hear of your experiences and advice. x

OP posts:
startingoveragainagain · 26/01/2025 21:40

I have an upper height limit of 6ft and I seem to be being served loads that are 6ft3 and over!!

startingoveragainagain · 26/01/2025 21:41

PeachyKeane · 26/01/2025 20:55

I'm 55 and have an upper age limit of 56 😅 i get likes off men my age and younger. So there is no need to go for the wrinklies

Yes, but are the younger men just after s*x?

PeachyKeane · 26/01/2025 22:17

startingoveragainagain · 26/01/2025 21:41

Yes, but are the younger men just after s*x?

TBH that's all I am looking for off them.

Doggymummar · 26/01/2025 22:27

Have a look at Laura Buckley if you are looking for relationships, she runs a matchmaking agency and is a dating coach. You will find her ton LinkedIn, FB, insta etc. I see her posts on LI and she seems sound.

Gr8white · 27/01/2025 07:58

StrawberryDream24 · 26/01/2025 20:52

who totally ignored my 'likes and preferences' for a 6-footer

The majority of men are not 6ft (or over). You are unrealistically narrowing your range.

I've always had tall lovers, it's not unrealistic at all. There's nothing wrong with knowing what you like in a man - it could even be argued that settling for someone you're not that in to is a bit desperate, possibly even unkind.

OP posts:
Gr8white · 27/01/2025 08:07

PeachyKeane · 26/01/2025 22:17

TBH that's all I am looking for off them.

And that, I think, is a good, honest and healthy attitude. All this nonsense about men 'only wanting sex' is absurd.

OP posts:
coodawoodashooda · 27/01/2025 08:15

startingoveragainagain · 20/01/2025 21:22

I've been following Kelsey Wonderlin on Instagram and her ideas on using weeding out questions seem quite sensible.

I'm going to look at this. Thanks.

Lefthanddownnumberone · 27/01/2025 14:40

I was 49 and looked from 45 to 55.

if they sent me a ‘morning beautiful how are you?’ Message =binned. As did expressing undying affection / love etc as did living with the ex.

I had ask questions that I always asked

One was

  • what is the latest book / current book you are reading
  • asked about background where they grew up or family
  • asked about why they were single - and listened to the answer. Eg rants about the ex = no etc
I wanted a man who was independent eg looks after himself, hobbies, and cleans up etc

Watch what they ask you- are they interested in your reply or is it generic? Some men are playing numbers games for sex - so I made it clear that for me was part of a long term relationship but I wasn’t looking for one that was based on sex

TwistedWonder · 27/01/2025 14:53

Lefthanddownnumberone · 27/01/2025 14:40

I was 49 and looked from 45 to 55.

if they sent me a ‘morning beautiful how are you?’ Message =binned. As did expressing undying affection / love etc as did living with the ex.

I had ask questions that I always asked

One was

  • what is the latest book / current book you are reading
  • asked about background where they grew up or family
  • asked about why they were single - and listened to the answer. Eg rants about the ex = no etc
I wanted a man who was independent eg looks after himself, hobbies, and cleans up etc

Watch what they ask you- are they interested in your reply or is it generic? Some men are playing numbers games for sex - so I made it clear that for me was part of a long term relationship but I wasn’t looking for one that was based on sex

Yep. Anyone who sent an opening message ‘hi’ ‘morning’ or called me love/babe/sweetheart/sexy etc - binned

Or anyone who couldn’t even be arsed to use words and sentences a gif or a 👋 - off you go mate!

I get that an opening message isn’t easy but at least some evidence that they’ve read my profile which does contain information about what sort of things I enjoy

Gr8white · 27/01/2025 15:59

You were honest. That's good.

OP posts:
rubberduck68 · 20/02/2025 23:05

startingoveragainagain · 25/01/2025 21:17

Ok I have - do you think some of these men realise their pictures make them look like serial killers haha!

What age range have you put?

I said to a friend the other day that I thought the men on Match looked like a Yearbook from Belmarsh!

rubberduck68 · 20/02/2025 23:14

I have joined Hinge having had a break for a while after a few not great experiences online. I am in my fifties. I paid for one month on the advice of a friend, and so far the profiles that I am being shown are quite decent, and the men seem to look less like a line up from Crime Watch than they do on Match! I used to like Bumble, but men seem to be obsessed with shagging on there at the moment.

rubberduck68 · 20/02/2025 23:21

user111222 · 26/01/2025 20:16

What sort of age range are you getting interest from? We're led to believe (on here!) that only 65 year olds plus would show interest in any of us over 50s!

I think there is a difference in what men might find attractive and who they actually date. There is a lot of data – and flex-talk from some men – about dating much younger women, which I am sure does happen sometimes, but I match and date men my own age (fifties) and two of my good friends are in relationships with lovely men their age who they met online. Also, bear in mind that some men date young women because it builds up their ego, and you wouldn't want to date an insecure man anyway, so be glad they've voted themselves off the island!

PeachyKeane · 20/02/2025 23:26

I'm 55 and had loads of interest, and some great dates and sex with younger men. In their 40s and 30s. The two potentially serious relationships I have had were with men my exact age. I'm still seeing one of them. He's lovely. I did limit my upper age to 56 though as am very much not interested in men older than me.

Randomease · 20/02/2025 23:43

Why can you not write the word ‘sex’ @PeachyKeane

user111222 · 21/02/2025 08:23

This is a few weeks old now so how's the op getting on?

Gr8white · 21/02/2025 09:25

Morning! Thanks for asking.

Alas not much excitement: I got lots of requests from men who absolutely did not match my preference requests (you fill in a form at Hinge about everything eg. age/height/religion/children etc), so I didn't waste their time.

One from a man who looked okay but messaged me around mignight asking if I was busy...clearly wanted a booty call.

One from a man who professed to be a pilot at BA and pictured himself in uniform, which I found a bit of a pompous USP. He also said he is looking for a bride, so I told him 'thanks but no'. Too much like poor Deirde off Coronation Street (if you know, you know).

Then - and this is the interesting bit - a man who works in the same industry as me. I nearly didn't meet him but then decided I'd meet him at work, just to be sure he is who he said he is, and it turned out we have friends in common, which is lovely. No spark, but I told him I'm sure we could meet for a walk and a coffee some time and he seems happy with that.

Lastly, a very beautiful but far-too-young Egyptian who is only here for a few months and was very open about that. We had a hot chocolate and a walk around town but discussed not wanting to get involved in anything long-distance but that it is lovely to have made a new friends and that the next time he is in central, we would meet again, as friends.

On Hinge, I'd probably give the app 4/10 because the algorhythms are a bit bonkers and secondly because Hinge has no helpline, so if anything should go awry, you're on your own. At around £40 a week and another tenner to 'boost' your profile, I do not think it's worth the money. What I did learn though, is that I should get out more! I keep turning down party invitations and girls night out, which is not helpful to my cause!

Tips: always ask a potential date for his full name and place of work so you can check him out before meeting. Always tell a pal where you'll be and who with. Never feel pressured to meet again if it doesn't feel right.

I might try Bumble. I might not. x

OP posts:
user111222 · 22/02/2025 13:09

Gr8white · 21/02/2025 09:25

Morning! Thanks for asking.

Alas not much excitement: I got lots of requests from men who absolutely did not match my preference requests (you fill in a form at Hinge about everything eg. age/height/religion/children etc), so I didn't waste their time.

One from a man who looked okay but messaged me around mignight asking if I was busy...clearly wanted a booty call.

One from a man who professed to be a pilot at BA and pictured himself in uniform, which I found a bit of a pompous USP. He also said he is looking for a bride, so I told him 'thanks but no'. Too much like poor Deirde off Coronation Street (if you know, you know).

Then - and this is the interesting bit - a man who works in the same industry as me. I nearly didn't meet him but then decided I'd meet him at work, just to be sure he is who he said he is, and it turned out we have friends in common, which is lovely. No spark, but I told him I'm sure we could meet for a walk and a coffee some time and he seems happy with that.

Lastly, a very beautiful but far-too-young Egyptian who is only here for a few months and was very open about that. We had a hot chocolate and a walk around town but discussed not wanting to get involved in anything long-distance but that it is lovely to have made a new friends and that the next time he is in central, we would meet again, as friends.

On Hinge, I'd probably give the app 4/10 because the algorhythms are a bit bonkers and secondly because Hinge has no helpline, so if anything should go awry, you're on your own. At around £40 a week and another tenner to 'boost' your profile, I do not think it's worth the money. What I did learn though, is that I should get out more! I keep turning down party invitations and girls night out, which is not helpful to my cause!

Tips: always ask a potential date for his full name and place of work so you can check him out before meeting. Always tell a pal where you'll be and who with. Never feel pressured to meet again if it doesn't feel right.

I might try Bumble. I might not. x

This sounds good generally though! Sounds like some fun has been had anyway x

rubberduck68 · 05/03/2025 09:53

There is no helpline, but you can report people, so if you tap on the three little dots on the right hand side of a profile it gives you the option to "remove, report, or cancel", so remove and report are a bit similar, in that you can select why, e.g. you think they are a scammer, or they have behaved badly. Re. Scammers, avoid men in BA uniforms, also handsome architects and engineers in very good jumpers (sorry to any men who are genuinely that on apps) but they are usually scammers. As you're paying, you can select advanced filter so you should only be getting people who match your preference results, make sure you have the "this is a deal breaker" option ticked on each of your preferences at the bottom of each page, or they will send you anyone!

NaomiWo · 04/06/2025 19:48

.

NaomiWo · 04/06/2025 19:51

NotthinglikeaBondGirl · 25/01/2025 17:54

I met my (now) DH on Our Time.

I had plenty of dates with men who only wanted sex and other older men who wanted a 'nurse with a purse' (eg: someone who would look after them and had a pension) - but didn't get it from me. I also met someone who turned out to be a person on licence as was serving a life sentence for seriously abusing previous partners & (after I'd stopped seeing him) he became involved in poor woman's death (google Richard Scatchard). I am so relieved that I didn't have sex with him & he was declaring undying devotion to me after only 5 or 6 dates and also offering to pay for my boobs to be enhanced - really mate? So, red flags raised, thank God I dumped him.

Anyway I was lucky that I met my DH who lived & ran a business locally to me and I was able to check him out with friends who knew him.

My lesson was to take things at a snail's pace, always meet them in a public place during the day with an exit strategy - I always let a friend know where I was & what time & got them to phone me after about 15 minutes into the date so that I could say that I had a family emergency &, very sorry, but I had to go. Also don't let them know your address until you are completely sure of them.

However, I did meet my wonderful DH, but as I say I was very wary & took things at a snails pace - it was 6 months before we had sex, but when we did it was fab because we had got to know each other so well.

Good luck x

Hi please could you contact me on direct msg
regarding Richard Scatchard? Naomi

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