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Original poster

Dating After 50

96 replies

Gr8white · 20/01/2025 16:32

Hey. I just spent Christmas entirely alone and started thinking (again) about joining a dating website. I was married for over 20 years and have been single for the last decade of so. I don't tend to meet anyone new and everyone I know seems to be coupled up. Don't get me wrong, at over 50yrs old now, I long ago stopped imagining walking down the aisle again, it would just be nice to have someone special in my life. Does anyone have any tips on dating websites? I'd be so grateful to hear of your experiences and advice. x

OP posts:
Original poster
Gr8white · 25/01/2025 19:08

Summerhillsquare · 25/01/2025 18:44

Bumble. Don't overthink it. It's a numbers game. Don't chat for ages, quick coffee/drink dates, yes even if you have to do the asking. Laugh, reflect but don't overthink it. Yes you will be rejected. As soon as you get upset, stop.

Don't overthink it!!!

Sounds like very sensible advice, thank you. I might try Bumble tomorrow, Hinge here in London is a bit empty...

OP posts:
startingoveragainagain · 25/01/2025 19:20

@Gr8white I would've thought all the sites / apps would be better in London, i live somewhere pretty rural think small towns and villages. I'm new to the area, but good friends with a group of ladies whove lived here all their lives, they will know anyone who pops up on any app i'm sure :/

I really want to give it a go but £25 per week is very expensive, I'm sure 15 years ago they were that price for a month.

Which app site do you think will be best for rural areas.

Original poster
Gr8white · 25/01/2025 19:24

@Lefthanddownnumberone you are one of many smart contributors on here - I really do appreciate this advice. I think I might have messed up the algorhytms or whatever though, as I can't see anyone who welcomed me on Hinge this morning!

OP posts:
TwistedWonder · 25/01/2025 19:27

Gr8white · 25/01/2025 19:24

@Lefthanddownnumberone you are one of many smart contributors on here - I really do appreciate this advice. I think I might have messed up the algorhytms or whatever though, as I can't see anyone who welcomed me on Hinge this morning!

I’m in my 50’s and in home counties and Hinge was tumbleweed for me. Bumble was the most active

Original poster
Gr8white · 25/01/2025 19:29

startingoveragainagain · 25/01/2025 19:20

@Gr8white I would've thought all the sites / apps would be better in London, i live somewhere pretty rural think small towns and villages. I'm new to the area, but good friends with a group of ladies whove lived here all their lives, they will know anyone who pops up on any app i'm sure :/

I really want to give it a go but £25 per week is very expensive, I'm sure 15 years ago they were that price for a month.

Which app site do you think will be best for rural areas.

@startingoveragainagain I hear you. I also thought £25 was a bit steep and am already disappointed, though I am a bit sceptical about my own tech skills and wonder if I've messed it up - is anyone here on Hinge and can you see me?

As for which dating apps might be best for rural areas, I'm not entirely sure but some people on here have enjoyed Bumble. I do have friend who lives in Brighton who uses Match, to greater or lesser success. She did once say though, that the same men just go round and around her friend group!

OP posts:
Original poster
Gr8white · 25/01/2025 19:30

TwistedWonder · 25/01/2025 19:27

I’m in my 50’s and in home counties and Hinge was tumbleweed for me. Bumble was the most active

Show quote history

Maybe I should try Bumble, now that I am on a roll...

OP posts:
Original poster
Gr8white · 25/01/2025 19:35

PeachyKeane · 25/01/2025 15:11

I'm using the free version of Hinge. I've met some nice men on there actually. It's kept me occupied anyway throughout the very boring month of January.

Hope your date goes well.

@Peachycan I DM you briefly please? It's about how Hinge works, I think I've muddled it up a bit. x

OP posts:
startingoveragainagain · 25/01/2025 19:49

Isn't Bumble the one where you message men though? I think i'd prefer they make the first move (yes i'm old ha!).

Original poster
Gr8white · 25/01/2025 19:54

@startingoveragainagain I'm not sure, I'll check tomorrow. I do think it will work for me though, so I can decide whether - or not - to connect with a man. I'll let you know. x

OP posts:
TwistedWonder · 25/01/2025 20:04

startingoveragainagain · 25/01/2025 19:49

Isn't Bumble the one where you message men though? I think i'd prefer they make the first move (yes i'm old ha!).

It’s changed now and men can make the first move as well

startingoveragainagain · 25/01/2025 20:07

TwistedWonder · 25/01/2025 20:04

It’s changed now and men can make the first move as well

Edited
Show quote history

Ah ok - Maybe Ill create a free account now then - wish me luck!

Original poster
Gr8white · 25/01/2025 20:11

If you do, I will!

OP posts:
startingoveragainagain · 25/01/2025 21:17

Ok I have - do you think some of these men realise their pictures make them look like serial killers haha!

What age range have you put?

Runninghappy · 25/01/2025 21:46

I was single and dating on and off for about 6 years before I met my wonderful Bf on bumble. I think I tried them all in the time and bumble was by far the best. I did meet some lovely people and had another 18 month relationship and a couple of shorter ones, but I also met some crazy people. 2 had been in prison 😱 I think it is important to make sure you have a thick skin and be ready as at the start I was a bit of a mess and so just was happy to talk to anyone. Once I remembered my worth I met really nice men.

Runninghappy · 25/01/2025 21:46

Oh I’ve just realised I’m not over 50 but I’m sure same applies!!

Original poster
Gr8white · 25/01/2025 21:53

Runninghappy · 25/01/2025 21:46

I was single and dating on and off for about 6 years before I met my wonderful Bf on bumble. I think I tried them all in the time and bumble was by far the best. I did meet some lovely people and had another 18 month relationship and a couple of shorter ones, but I also met some crazy people. 2 had been in prison 😱 I think it is important to make sure you have a thick skin and be ready as at the start I was a bit of a mess and so just was happy to talk to anyone. Once I remembered my worth I met really nice men.

This is what makes me skittish. I am so scared of men.

OP posts:
Original poster
Gr8white · 25/01/2025 21:56

startingoveragainagain · 25/01/2025 21:17

Ok I have - do you think some of these men realise their pictures make them look like serial killers haha!

What age range have you put?

And the ones who crop their photos to hide balding. Hard 'no' from me because honesty is paramount to dating.

OP posts:
Original poster
Gr8white · 25/01/2025 21:58

@startingoveragainagain I selected 10yrs either way. Maybe I'm not as appealing as I thought.

OP posts:
TwistedWonder · 25/01/2025 21:59

Be aware a lot of men knock a few years off their age and add a couple of inches to their height.

startingoveragainagain · 25/01/2025 22:02

I've realised i'm a snob looking at these pictures haha!

TwistedWonder · 25/01/2025 22:05

There’s a dating site specifically for over 50’s called Ourtime but OMG it really is full of bad selfies of men with 6 chins wearing hi viz most of which seem to be taken in a public toilet

startingoveragainagain · 25/01/2025 22:17

TwistedWonder · 25/01/2025 22:05

There’s a dating site specifically for over 50’s called Ourtime but OMG it really is full of bad selfies of men with 6 chins wearing hi viz most of which seem to be taken in a public toilet

Edited

There have been times when I've needed builders and never been able to find anyone to come and quote... I know why now... they are all busy on Bumble!

Original poster
Gr8white · 25/01/2025 22:28

WHAT? Oh no!

OP posts:
Original poster
Gr8white · 25/01/2025 22:31

TwistedWonder · 25/01/2025 22:05

There’s a dating site specifically for over 50’s called Ourtime but OMG it really is full of bad selfies of men with 6 chins wearing hi viz most of which seem to be taken in a public toilet

Edited

WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?

OP posts:
Original poster
Gr8white · 25/01/2025 22:34

Turns out the man I communicated with on Hinge doesn't even live in London, but he will join our walking group through the city tomorrow morning...

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