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Dating After 50

96 replies

Gr8white · 20/01/2025 16:32

Hey. I just spent Christmas entirely alone and started thinking (again) about joining a dating website. I was married for over 20 years and have been single for the last decade of so. I don't tend to meet anyone new and everyone I know seems to be coupled up. Don't get me wrong, at over 50yrs old now, I long ago stopped imagining walking down the aisle again, it would just be nice to have someone special in my life. Does anyone have any tips on dating websites? I'd be so grateful to hear of your experiences and advice. x

OP posts:
Spooky2000 · 25/01/2025 22:47

startingoveragainagain · 20/01/2025 21:22

I've been following Kelsey Wonderlin on Instagram and her ideas on using weeding out questions seem quite sensible.

Really? Could you provide some examples please? I'm not on any SM, so I'd be interested to know what she says :)

PeachyKeane · 25/01/2025 23:12

Gr8white · 25/01/2025 19:35

@Peachycan I DM you briefly please? It's about how Hinge works, I think I've muddled it up a bit. x

Sorry I've been out, just got in. Feel free to DM me

Gr8white · 26/01/2025 08:23

startingoveragainagain · 25/01/2025 21:17

Ok I have - do you think some of these men realise their pictures make them look like serial killers haha!

What age range have you put?

It is really strange the way some of these men present themselves - one or two are topless in the gym. I mean just yuk. I put the age range at 45-57.

OP posts:
TwistedWonder · 26/01/2025 08:44

Gr8white · 26/01/2025 08:23

It is really strange the way some of these men present themselves - one or two are topless in the gym. I mean just yuk. I put the age range at 45-57.

Even worse are the ones who are topless who have never been to a gym

Gr8white · 26/01/2025 08:47

Some of the profiles on Hinge are appalling - one guy says on his profile 'I'm looking for someone who doesn't want a sugar daddy' (baggage alert!) and another says he spends Sunday morning 'having sex...with himself.'
I don't see my Hinge membership stretching into next weekend.

OP posts:
startingoveragainagain · 26/01/2025 09:32

I know i'm fussy and like a particular sort of man, not into facial hair, tattoos that are very visible, I like smart men (not super casual wear) (I love a man in a suit), I'd like someone with a career and a passion... so I think it's going to be a struggle... maybe all these men are still happily married haha!

startingoveragainagain · 26/01/2025 09:33

I meant tattoos that aren't very visible (I'd prefer no tattoos - but i'll compromise haha!)

TwistedWonder · 26/01/2025 09:42

startingoveragainagain · 26/01/2025 09:32

I know i'm fussy and like a particular sort of man, not into facial hair, tattoos that are very visible, I like smart men (not super casual wear) (I love a man in a suit), I'd like someone with a career and a passion... so I think it's going to be a struggle... maybe all these men are still happily married haha!

Tbh its a struggle to find a man over 50 who can string 3 words together let alone any other criteria.

I’m quite fussy as well with regards they have to be taller than me, non smoker, no beard, well presented and articulate.

I don’t mind well done tattoos but not ones that look like a kid has drawn on them. I’m big on style as well so pics wearing a vest and Union Jack shorts is an instant ick.

TwistedWonder · 26/01/2025 09:43

Gr8white · 26/01/2025 08:47

Some of the profiles on Hinge are appalling - one guy says on his profile 'I'm looking for someone who doesn't want a sugar daddy' (baggage alert!) and another says he spends Sunday morning 'having sex...with himself.'
I don't see my Hinge membership stretching into next weekend.

I saw one that said he was looking for a bisexual woman who loves anal - form an orderly queue for this Prince ladies 🤣

startingoveragainagain · 26/01/2025 09:47

TwistedWonder · 26/01/2025 09:42

Tbh its a struggle to find a man over 50 who can string 3 words together let alone any other criteria.

I’m quite fussy as well with regards they have to be taller than me, non smoker, no beard, well presented and articulate.

I don’t mind well done tattoos but not ones that look like a kid has drawn on them. I’m big on style as well so pics wearing a vest and Union Jack shorts is an instant ick.

Yes, I have all those criteria too!

startingoveragainagain · 26/01/2025 09:48

Also, a badly decorated room, or scrappy looking furniture in the background would be a no from me too.

CharSiu · 26/01/2025 10:02

The only people I know on dating sites right now are really young in their twenties, my DS and some of his friends both men and women. It’s very much the photos that are “the hook”. So make sure you have some really decent ones.

It seems a bit like looking through the Argos catalogue, some stuff is to be admired, some is practical but unattractive then there is something really desirable and sleek that almost everyone would want.

My widowed sister met a widower at a hobby group and remarried last year, both post 50. They wrote very touching poems to each other and read them out at their receptions. So they now share a world of music, poetry and art and they are in a folk band together. She was very lucky to find another man that she actually wanted and didn’t just compromise.

user111222 · 26/01/2025 11:15

Gr8white · 25/01/2025 22:34

Turns out the man I communicated with on Hinge doesn't even live in London, but he will join our walking group through the city tomorrow morning...

Please report back later!

Gr8white · 26/01/2025 11:18

startingoveragainagain · 26/01/2025 09:47

Yes, I have all those criteria too!

@TwistedWonder I think we all want the same man. The weird thing is - if women are clear on what they want, why are men failing to give it up?

OP posts:
Gr8white · 26/01/2025 11:19

user111222 · 26/01/2025 11:15

Please report back later!

Hey - he cancelled this morning. This kind of behaviour is a bit of a turn off, but as he works in the same industry as me, I'm sure we could be friends. I'm just not feeling it.

OP posts:
SnowflakeSmasher86 · 26/01/2025 11:28

One thing I’d add is that if you match and have a nice chat don’t rule them out on looks alone. The ones you think are ‘your type’ often don’t live up to it when you meet in person. And conversely if you get to know someone you may find them more attractive in real life than in their pics.

My DP is conventionally good looking - ie tall, slim, has all his own hair etc! But I was looking for stocky bald guys as that’s more my thing Grin. He sounded interesting and could string a sentence together, unlike many of them. We met a few times and I still didn’t really ‘fancy’ him as such, but eventually we kissed, which was nice, although no fireworks. It wasn’t until we finally made it to bed that I felt it!!

So I’m not saying sleep with men you find repulsive, but if there’s even a flicker of “this is a good man who has all the qualities I want in a partner” give it a chance as the attraction can grow.

My friend passed up a guy who was perfect for her, had a house in Spain with loads of animals (she rescues dogs from abroad and loves animals), he made her laugh, was confident enough to challenge her and she’s quite bolshy so she needs that, but she didn’t like his car and he was too short. So she ruled him out. I was so annoyed at her! I know you can’t force attraction but you can give it space to grow.

At our age none of us are getting any better physically, so making that the most important factor is just silly.

Gr8white · 26/01/2025 11:51

It's a lot like arranged marriage (not to be confused with forced marriage!): it will very likely work out if interests and attitudes match, but if there's no chemistry, it's dead in the water.

OP posts:
startingoveragainagain · 26/01/2025 13:06

Although at this point i'd probably trust my parents to find me someone suitable that I can ha!

Gr8white · 26/01/2025 17:30

So, I've had several chats on Hinge, I'm not going to renew my subscription next week, but it has been amusing so far: I've had an English teacher who cannot spell; a short man who totally ignored my 'likes and preferences' for a 6-footer; a 'businessman' who comes across a bit shady, messaging me after 11pm to ask how my evening is going (I was in bed watching Traitors by then) and someone purporting to be a doctor working in the NHS. None seem mental.

OP posts:
user111222 · 26/01/2025 20:16

Gr8white · 26/01/2025 17:30

So, I've had several chats on Hinge, I'm not going to renew my subscription next week, but it has been amusing so far: I've had an English teacher who cannot spell; a short man who totally ignored my 'likes and preferences' for a 6-footer; a 'businessman' who comes across a bit shady, messaging me after 11pm to ask how my evening is going (I was in bed watching Traitors by then) and someone purporting to be a doctor working in the NHS. None seem mental.

Edited

What sort of age range are you getting interest from? We're led to believe (on here!) that only 65 year olds plus would show interest in any of us over 50s!

startingoveragainagain · 26/01/2025 20:22

user111222 · 26/01/2025 20:16

What sort of age range are you getting interest from? We're led to believe (on here!) that only 65 year olds plus would show interest in any of us over 50s!

I bl**dy hope not, I'm shocked how old the men of a similar age to me look, I have no idea what I would do with a 65 year old!

TwistedWonder · 26/01/2025 20:25

startingoveragainagain · 26/01/2025 20:22

I bl**dy hope not, I'm shocked how old the men of a similar age to me look, I have no idea what I would do with a 65 year old!

The oldest one who messaged me was 79, 5’3 and looked like Dobby. Then told me I was rude, prejudiced and he hoped I’d be single forever because I politely said no thanks - bless his deluded little heart 🤣🤣

startingoveragainagain · 26/01/2025 20:35

Do you think the majority of normal men are just happy being single?

StrawberryDream24 · 26/01/2025 20:52

who totally ignored my 'likes and preferences' for a 6-footer

The majority of men are not 6ft (or over). You are unrealistically narrowing your range.

PeachyKeane · 26/01/2025 20:55

I'm 55 and have an upper age limit of 56 😅 i get likes off men my age and younger. So there is no need to go for the wrinklies