Husbands Encrypted WhatsApp with Female Colleague

[Alby678]

Hi,

First time post as I don’t know if I’m losing my mind.

My husband is an Airline pilot who is was very popular with the ladies when he was younger. We have 3 adult children. Things are ok between us but he is a charmer. Sex is irregular between us but I suppose that’s the norm when you’re in your 50’s.

He has been travelling frequently with one particular glamorous cabin crew member who I have my suspicions about. She’s married to a nice handsome man who I’ve met and they have 3 children also.

My husband was having a shower this morning I got a chance to check his phone as something wasn’t sitting right with me. I searched her name on WhatsApp and the messages between them are encrypted?? Like what’s that about.

I’ve now checked whats involved in setting up encryption on WhatsApp and both parties have to set it up with one scanning a code on the others phone. Needless to say I’m seriously concerned now.

Has anyone encountered this before and how do you think I should handle this tricky situation?

Im thinking of contacting this woman’s husband but feel that might be a bit much at this point.

Thanks all.

Oh Bugger! If it’s only messages with her that are encrypted in WhatsApp then it’s more likely to have been done deliberately, rather than accidentally.

Years ago I found out my ex was cheating when I went into our shared computer at home looking for my CV to update and came across a Word file he’d password protected. He’d given it a generic sort of title related to employment so I wrongly assumed it was something and nothing. I easily guessed the password as he wasn’t very techy and liked to keep things simple.

It was a fucking love letter he’d written to his lover with a lot of vile details about their sexual exploits. 🤬

Obviously, that was the end for us but it was a massive shock at the time as we’d been together many years by then. (Yes he admitted everything when I confronted him)

@MrsJPGarcia a relatively new thing? It must be about a decade now. Back up chat e2e encrypted chats came in about 3/4 years ago. Is that what you mean?

There is no evidence from what OP has said that the DH has gone through any sort of steps or process for ‘peace of mind’ to hide the chats. The option is there for peace of mind, for everyone. OP said she went into WhatsApp, searched her name, and it said the chats are encrypted. That, to me, would suggest that she saw the screen shared by @CleanShirt at the top of page 2. There are (possibly) no messages with the woman, and the lock and encryption banner at the top will always show on a new chat screen like that, for everyone.

Unless OP comes back to clarify what she’s seen, it doesn’t appear that he’s done anything on the app to hide messages Although the fact there are no messages might be a worry as well…

Op don’t you use WhatsApp? With friends, family etc? Whatsapp automatically encrypts. You dint need to put phones together etc, if you can’t see messages it means there is none, either deleted or never was.

Exactly, there is no evidence to suggest there was ever messages, it simply means she opened a new chat with her.

they prob had the code to begin with

Ohhhhhhh if her number is in his phone and you've searched for that number/name on whatsapp then yes, it will come up... and if no messages have been sent you'll just see the encryption notification...

So it may just be he has her number, potentially for perfectly legitimate reasons and has never called her, texted her or whatsapped her at all, or has only ever contacted her for work reasons.

If you don't actually understand the technology you're using... probably best not to go snooping and leaping to conclusions.

The OP really needs to clarify what she actually means, as this thread is descending into WhatsApp technological discussion.

WhatsApp does automatically encrypt all messages and a message saying that will show at the top of every chat. @Alby678 needs to clarify if this is what she means, or if in fact the messages were ‘locked’/required a pin and she was unable to access them. Very different scenarios.

I think that's unlikely - if it's data that is sensitive, it shouldn't be on whatsapp in the first place.

Decide if an affair is marriage ending
if it is than Ask husband to show you the messages immediately if he doesn’t you ask him to go
I can’t see how else you can find out
personally I would not contact her husband even if there is proof of affair but that’s just me

Who cares if it’s encrypted or whatever ?

just ask to see it

I don't think that there's any messages between them, searching for contacts would bring up a blank message screen with the encryption blurb if there are no messages to show.

This, I think the op and some responders don’t know how what’s app works.

WhatsApp messages aside - if OP is searching her husband's phone then she clearly doesn't trust him. And that's a big problem. She's so desparate to find "proof" that she's jumped to conclusions. I suspect if she'd found no message between them, she would have thought that was suspicious too.

Personally I wouldn't want to stay in a relationship with someone who searched my phone for "proof" that I was up to now good.

This is also what I’m wondering…

Send photo op

Because she's going to look like a paranoid fool if she's just seeing the standard encryption screen and zero messages because they've never messaged each other.

Genuinely don’t know what you mean Op.

There is a lot of conflicting advice regarding the encryption. I randomly get the notification. It's not on all my contacts. The ones it is on is two who have specific work reasons and the other so it's kept private. It's not just when it is a new contact.

It’s automatically on every single one of mine and WhatsApp themsvles say it is automatic, I’ve no idea why yours doesn’t, it shouldn’t be possible,

Has anyone actually asked OP if she can read the messages between her H and the woman?

There are no messages.

Does he have a crew pulse/roster app you can check his flights on? I used to be cabin crew and we had an app where you could view your roster and it would show all other crew on your flight.

Could you check and see if they are on any of the same flights? Most airlines allow the crew to swap onto flights so if they have a lot of layover flights in common, it may be a red flag.

Op, I’ve just searched two of my contacts in WhatsApp. This is what it looks like. One is the plumber, who I’ve only ever phoned, and one is a school mum who I contact via iMessage. The ‘chat’ is automatically encrypted by WhatsApp, we’ve never scanned anything on each others phone (in fact, I’ve never actually met the plumber in person. My husband has been the one who was off both times he’s been). If that’s what you’re seeing, you’re barking up the wrong tree.

However I’d definitely explore the reasons that you’re so sure your husband is being unfaithful. What else is going on?

Just seen him and said woman have been travelling together frequently. If it’s an international airline, it’s very unlikely they are being rostered for the same flights so often. I only ever flew with the same pilot more than once on one occasion in the space of three years.
More likely one of them is swapping flights so they are on the same layovers together.

I think I was confused as one person I get a message but it was saying the security code has changed.