Don’t want to date another parent.

[WishOnAStarr]

If you are a single parent should you only date other parents? I’m asking because I would prefer to not date another parent but someone said that was incredibly selfish and unfair and I would be taking their chance to be a parent. Do you think you should stick to other parents if you are one? They said only a parent could understand sleepless nights and sacrifices parents have to make but I don’t agree that’s necessarily true my ex had no idea what that’s like because he has never sacrificed anything for them and didn’t do any sleepless nights. I’m not forcing anyone to date me and if a man without children didn’t want to date me that’s fine and I wouldn’t expect him to. Just that I don’t want to date a man with kids and I would rather stay single. Did anyone else choose to not date other parents? I know most single mums prefer to date men with kids as well so it’s not like they are short on options.

Do whatever you like, it is up to you. You would need to ensure a childless partner doesn't want his own kids, making it clear you don't want more from the beginning.

I’m not against more children. I don’t plan to have anymore but wouldnt rule it out entirely

I would see it as cutting the possible population of datees, but at the end of the day it's your choice

You can aim for whatever you like!
Whether you can land it or not is the real question.

You can date whoever you like, whether it’s only men without children, or only men who don’t use emojis.

As said happy to stay single otherwise

My exh had dc... Current one didn't. We have a dc together..
The ex drama men bring to a new relationship is a head fuck ime.

Not usually the dc that are the issue.. More lack of actual parenting and the dm troubles....

So do that! It’s entirely up to you.

I don’t plan to stay single I just meant if I can’t find anyone that doesn’t have children then I won’t compromise on that

I wouldn't want to date someone with kids under about 16 and I have a primary aged child. I'm very aware some might find this stance hypocritical but when it comes to dating we are allowed to choose whichever criteria we want but have to be aware others will also have their own criteria which may been they don't want to date us.

I fully accept men may not want to date me for any reason- that's their own choice and completely acceptable. I had my eldest in my 20s and got turned down by a lot of blokes of a similar age purely for that reason.

I would say that I'm interested in dating men my age and above (I'm mid 40s) and would date men into their late 50s which means a lot will have older kids anyway.

You realise that there probably isn’t an abundance of single, childless men who want to date someone with children?

When you read on here what a shit show for women blending families can be, you are not wrong to prefer to avoid it.

Most regret it.

Definitely know there isn’t. But it does happen, my mum met my dad when she had 3 kids of her own and he had none!

Exactly, why would I get into something I know I would hate and I would be an awful step mum so I’m avoiding men with kids but seems you can’t win.

It might be hard to find a single childfree man who doesn't want children but will happily take on someone else's and isn't a paedophile.

If DH and I ever broke up, I don't think I could be bothered getting into a relationship with someone with children and most likely an ex in the background. But I also wouldn't date someone with no interest in children because I've got 3 of them. So it would be just casual dating for me until mine are grown and gone.

Not interested in casual dating. I’m open to more children I mean I don’t plan to but if I met the right man I wouldn’t say never.

I didn't want to date anyone with children either.

I had no desire to be a step parent nor to blend families and all that goes with that.

So, I didn't.

I dated casually when my children were younger but nothing serious and didn't introduce my children to anyone. I stuck mainly to childfree men or those with older children. It's not that I didn't want a partner with children but that I had no interest in raising someome else's children.

My children are both now adults (older teen and 20s) and my partners children are in their 20s too.

More than happy to be a step grandparent though when the time comes! As is he.

So, yes, it probably did reduce my dating pool but I was also happy to stay single.

You're not interested in dating g causally and are open to more children so, tbh, I think that's also reasonable. You might meet someone suitable, you might not but there's no need to compromise on what is important to you.

Maybe not men in their 20s, no, but most men understand that women older than that are likely to have children and accept it.

Having said thar, my son is 26 and he'd be open to dating a single mum. He has a stepdad himself (we split up 12 years ago but his stepdad is still his dad).

So they are out there.

My partner has 2 kids to 2 different women (doesn't bother me) I have 1 DD. He has his kids every other weekend and works away all week. It doesn't bother me he has kids at all. If anything he is more understanding If anything pops up with my DD like he gets it. Same with him. I've briefly dated someone without kids and they didn't mind but they don't get it. I made it clear I didn't want more kids and they did so was a no from early on. I mean if you have a preference fair enough but other parents get it. Don't get my wrong my partners youngest mum is hard work the eldest mum is sound. X

If I split with my partner I wouldn't want to be with someone with young children. I have 2 of my own to raise and I find that challenging enough. I don't think I'd have a lot of options but like you, I would rather stay single than compromise on something so big.
I would however be open to someone with older/grown up children but as I'm early thirties I can't imagine there's many men under 40 in that pool either.
You can choose whatever kind of partner you want, so no, YANBU. You're clearly aware there's unlikely the be an abundance of people to choose from and are fine with that.

I don’t relate to someone that has their kids every other weekend at all. I have mine full time so I don’t think they can truly relate either as it’s not the same at all. Only way it would be is if they were a full time lone parent but then we would probably never see each other 😂

I agree with you that it is simplest and easiest on your children. Over 10 years ago when I found myself alone with a young child, I initially assumed another single parent was the way to go and joined a site specifically for single parents.

I soon discovered that it was a case of them juggling EOW, exes, etc and so complicated to even schedule a date. It was hard enough for me as I had my child full-time as their father was deceased.

Or, they were childless and specifically looking for single mums, but like mentioned, hard to know their intentions. I was late 20's and even had some 60+ year old men trying to chat me up 🤢.

I joined a regular site and found my wonderful husband as the second match I met up with. He was childless at 30, but pragmatic that women of a similar age might have a child/children. He was open to having another child (my preference), or sticking with the one I had.

He is an amazing dad to that child, having legal step-parental responsibility, and our 2nd child was quickly followed by a surprise gift of a 3rd!

That sounds perfect! I hope to find the same thing. It’s nice to know it’s possible.

Some while after their divorce, DD’s ex-H moved into his new childless-by-choice GF’s house. She evidently despises DGS8, this isn’t the place to repeat the awful things she allegedly says to him but she would have been very much better to have hooked up with a childless man.

DD’s current partner has a child and happily they get on very well.