I have been seeing a wonderful man for 18 months. We are the same age (40s), both no kids, both divorced, both left our respective long term relationships 2 years ago. So we met each other when we were quite newly single - in fact I was DP's first online date! We live separately, around 20 mins apart.
The issue is that I would like us to move in together, but DP isn't keen to yet. Says it's too soon for him, he doesn't feel ready for that kind of commitment, and he values his own space (he is very introverted and enjoys doing his own thing).
I am reluctant to walk away because he js in every other way the perfect partner. Kind, considerate, funny, handsome, smart. He otherwise makes me feel very loved and cared for, and always prioritises his time for me even though we live separately- messages daily, spends 3 nights a week & most of every weekend with me.
He had a harder time than I did moving on from his divorce - he ended it with his ex so carried a lot of guilt. He also says he realised he hadn't been very good at being in touch with or processing his own emotions let alone sharing these with others, which meant he eventually realised he was quite unhappy (both with his relationship as well as life generally). He has been in counselling for this since before he split with his ex. A key issue is that he has felt "stuck", feeling scared to make big decisions in case he gets them wrong (e.g. how to plan financially for his future, what to do with his career, etc).
In the 18 months I've known him, he's made a lot of progress with these issues (e.g. now has a plan for the financial stuff), and has gotten noticeably better at processing his feelings and opening up about them, to the point where we have a really good emotional connection. The one big area he still seems stuck on is living together, he seems too scared to commit, but is also very aware of the impact of not doing so.
I'm unsure whether to keep going or stick it out in the hope that he will get there in tjme. It is important to me to be able to build a future together with someone. However, we have an otherwise wonderful relationship (great emotional intimacy, not to mention sparks fly in the bedroom), we still plan and commit to things like holidays, and he is clearly on a journey of self development and making progress. We also spend loads of time together despite living apart. I don't feel ready to walk away and would really regret not giving him enough of a chance as he is otherwise my perfect man! Am I being silly to keep going with this in the hope we will get there eventually?