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Original poster

My oh deleted my messages

57 replies

frostyleaves5 · 09/01/2025 00:09

Found out my oh of a long time has deleted all my messages except from start of December.
It hurt my feelings as I thought they were memories between us but now I feel pissed off as obviously didn't mean a lot to him. He's still affectionate and tells me he loves me but I was surprised as we quite often send each other other nice messages and he said he deleted to free up space.
I was quite surprised and disappointed.
Have told him it hurt my feelings and I was surprised and I'm not going mention again but it does piss me off!
Am I being over sensitive?

OP posts:
Lesina · 09/01/2025 00:10

Yes

Hairyesterdaygonetoday · 09/01/2025 00:11

I’d feel hurt too.

Original poster
frostyleaves5 · 09/01/2025 00:17

Just felt very odd and has made me feel disappointed as I looked at the nice messages between us as special but everything I sent him deleted!
He still very affectionate today but I just feel disappointed in him.
It really surprised me😔

OP posts:
Original poster
frostyleaves5 · 09/01/2025 00:18

I think I will delete all my messages in my phone as not much point keeping

OP posts:
Devilsmommy · 09/01/2025 00:19

I'd feel hurt too. Me and DH have still got the phones with our first messages on. It's nice to look back at. Maybe your oh isn't a sentimental type

Azandme · 09/01/2025 00:19

Are you 11?

Original poster
frostyleaves5 · 09/01/2025 00:22

Azandme · 09/01/2025 00:19

Are you 11?

😂
Nice

OP posts:
Devilsmommy · 09/01/2025 00:23

Azandme · 09/01/2025 00:19

Are you 11?

Always got to be 1🙄

HotCrossBunplease · 09/01/2025 00:24

Yes, way over-sensitive. Did you honestly think he’d ever read them again? He tells you he loves you, the messages were nice in the moment and he’ll retain the memory of how he felt when he received them, but he doesn’t need to see them again. Stop mooning over memories and plan a future together, that’s a much nicer way to show your love.

You sound quite young?

Original poster
frostyleaves5 · 09/01/2025 00:24

Devilsmommy · 09/01/2025 00:19

I'd feel hurt too. Me and DH have still got the phones with our first messages on. It's nice to look back at. Maybe your oh isn't a sentimental type

Used to be
Surprised me to be honest and I'm not 11 as other poster asked😂

OP posts:
itsmabeline · 09/01/2025 00:25

I see why you're hurt, but I don't think he meant anything by it.

The world is full of people accidentally offending each other, it's a shame for the small faux pas to seriously affect relationships.

I think you should explain how disappointed you are but keep your messages as they mean something to you.

Original poster
frostyleaves5 · 09/01/2025 00:27

I'm not young the opposite but it just felt cold but yeah not worth worrying about. He's not bothered.

OP posts:
Brownbottle · 09/01/2025 00:28

I’d feel the same, I have my DP’s messages over 10 years and would be upset if I lose them, every now and again I come across early exchanges which make me smile and I love knowing they’re there. However I am very sentimental and others aren’t or wouldn’t get the same feelings from it - that doesn’t mean they love or care for you any less, just different brains and approaches! As long as he shows generally that he loves you and is affectionate then I’d try and move past it Smileand no you’re not 11 for caring, as some posters snip!

maudelovesharold · 09/01/2025 00:28

frostyleaves5 · 09/01/2025 00:18

I think I will delete all my messages in my phone as not much point keeping

That’s a slightly silly response.Your memories are there, and you can read through them, if that’s what you choose to do. It doesn’t invalidate the sentiments, surely, just because he doesn’t feel the need to keep a record of every message you’ve ever exchanged? That’s not wrong, just a different response to yours. Surely the here and now is more important than dwelling on this. His feelings for you won’t have changed just because he hasn’t kept the evidence of them!

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 09/01/2025 00:31

Did he say why he’s deleted them though?! They barely take up space and who has time to be deleting messages. So I’d not be offended, rather suspicious.

Are you sure it’s not for deceitful reasons like another woman?

RubyWinehouse · 09/01/2025 00:32

I used to keep all of my text messages, too, when we first got together. But 13 years in and 3 or 4 new phone's I don't have them anymore.

Original poster
frostyleaves5 · 09/01/2025 00:32

Don't know
He said to free up space
My pic on his screen so not sure re other women theory but who knows

OP posts:
itsmabeline · 09/01/2025 00:36

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 09/01/2025 00:31

Did he say why he’s deleted them though?! They barely take up space and who has time to be deleting messages. So I’d not be offended, rather suspicious.

Are you sure it’s not for deceitful reasons like another woman?

Don't look for malice where it probably doesn't exist. Some people like the neatness of not keeping every message, innocent and very common.

ForZanyAquaViewer · 09/01/2025 00:38

I think that if you’re the sort of person who cares about things like treasuring nice messages, this is massively hurtful. And if you’re not that sort of person, you cannot comprehend why someone would care about something like that.

You are the former sort of person and your DP is the latter. It’s not really a right or wrong type situation, but it’s very likely he had no idea you’d be upset.

loropianalover · 09/01/2025 00:41

frostyleaves5 · 09/01/2025 00:18

I think I will delete all my messages in my phone as not much point keeping

This makes you sound very silly. You’re making this whole post because keeping messages is clearly important to you, yet you’re going to delete yours… for what, to spite him? Save face?

If it’s important to you, you keep them.

Original poster
frostyleaves5 · 09/01/2025 00:43

I get what you are saying but he knows me so he knows what sort of person I am about that sort of thing but to be honest I can't be assed anymore with my needy emotional ways as he's not bothered.
Just move on and not be bothered going forward as he's not.

OP posts:
Original poster
frostyleaves5 · 09/01/2025 00:45

Deleting my messages isn't to spite him as I won't tell him but he wouldn't notice or care anyway

OP posts:
loropianalover · 09/01/2025 00:48

I think you need a good nights sleep and a nice coffee tomorrow morning to put you on the right track. This isn’t the issue you’re making it out to be and your relationship is not defined by your DP deleting messages to free up phone space.

You have no reason to delete the messages from your phone, plus you like looking at them. So leave them there. You clearly get reassurance from them and he gets reassurance from other things in the relationship. You don’t have to be carbon copies of each other.

LonelyInDville · 09/01/2025 01:02

That would be hurtful to me too. I only delete messages from people that I don’t care too much about, like my ex who I’m still in contact with. No reason to keep his texts.

LonelyInDville · 09/01/2025 01:04

Also it would make a difference if he deletes everyone’s messages or not. If he deletes all of them then I wouldn’t be that upset about it.

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