My oh deleted my messages

[frostyleaves5]

Found out my oh of a long time has deleted all my messages except from start of December.
It hurt my feelings as I thought they were memories between us but now I feel pissed off as obviously didn't mean a lot to him. He's still affectionate and tells me he loves me but I was surprised as we quite often send each other other nice messages and he said he deleted to free up space.
I was quite surprised and disappointed.
Have told him it hurt my feelings and I was surprised and I'm not going mention again but it does piss me off!
Am I being over sensitive?

Seriously? How long have you been together?

I think you’re being exceptionally over sensitive.

You can do a quick clean up that gets rid of everything if you're not careful

Did he only delete your messages? Or was your message history one of a few he deleted? If it one of a few I do think you are being a bit over sensitive however if your oh knows you and knows they were valuable to you you have a right to be upset. You do have your own record of it for yourself though so he's not really deleted your memories.

If it was just yours not a few he deleted that sounds sus. You say he's got your picture on his phone but pictures are easy to change! That said he clearly is sentimental about you if he has your picture as screensaver- you see that every time you use the phone that's more than you scroll through old messages

If they have always meant something to you and deleting them won’t make a difference to him, it seems like deleting them would be an act of petulance that you will probably only regret later if the relationship lasts.

My DH is not the most adept technologically (aka can't be bothered) and still has yet to manage to join my apple family and to access the cloud storage I have set up. He refuses to pay for his own cloud storage and therefore loses a vast amount of stuff every time he switches phone.

I on the other hand have just about every message anyone has ever sent me .

It's just a different approach and I see no point in being offended by it. We are the same offline too, I keep loads of mementoes such as birthday cards, including for the DC, it wouldn't occur to him to do so.

I'd be hurt, im sensitive too. He's just being a fella and didn't think anything of it lol

Sadly, men aren't remotely as sentimental as women are. That's just guys for you. You're over-thinking it. You're thinking of it from a female perspective. Men generally don't keep things like that.

I regularly delete my BF’s messages when I run out of space. I usually only delete his because he’s the only one I text regularly - everyone else I tend to communicate with on messenger. It wouldn’t occur to me he’d care (he definitely wouldn’t) and I wouldn’t care if he deleted mine. Why would either of us ever reread them?

I don't think yabu for being upset he deleted them.

But you are DEFINITELY being unreasonable and childish about deleting your copy out of spite and saying you want to move on.

In the beginning of my relationship, my now DH and I liked looking at the message history. 6 years in we clear it out every couple of months. Most of our texts are mundane house maintenance now. We screenshot any important things we need to keep.

Who wants to clog their inbox when it's not necessary?

I understand you wanting to delete them, it’s like the memory of them has been a bit tainted by the fact it’s not a shared sentimentality, it’s only for you, as they’re just ‘stuff taking up space’ to him. But leave it for a week or so, see how you feel then.

A lot of women star messages on WhatsApp.. First texts, audios etc

Why do you care? Nobody is going to go back and read old messages!

What does oh stand for?

If some of them were just, "can you please get toilet roll on the way home?" why on earth would you expect him to keep them?!

'Other half' I think.

In short, yes, I think you're being silly. It's good phone - he can do what he likes with it. You're there with him, and he clearly has photos, so why does he need the messages?

I delete everyone's messages including my children, because they are all pretty prosaic??

Well if you can grow up and stop being emotional and needy that sounds like a win for you both.

It hasn't actually crossed my mind if DP keeps mine. It's not an issue for me.

Let me guess, you found out by snooping through his phone.

I thought you were going to post that he’d deleted messages off your phone.

OP, they’re just messages not memories. Wouldn’t occur to me to get sentimental over something quite mundane, I guess he’s the same. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t care.

Thanks

Maybe cut him some slack. I had to do this and my partner was quite shocked I’d deleted all our messages, but I still had all the photos we’d sent. I too needed space on my memory on my phone. It’s just one of those things I think