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Original poster

My bf hasn't texted me in a week

62 replies

Acesocool · 08/01/2025 18:38

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 months now and met in uni. He shows a lot of care and attention usually, atleast during the semester he would call regularly and text everyday. He also tried to see me as much as I can. His actions truly showed he cared. He also told his brother about me and his mum.

However, now that it's the holidays since he is an international student he is home in his country and also he has work over the holidays. His communication has suddenly dropped off where he's been texting me one time in the whole day and disappears for long periods. I told him how this made me feel and he apologised and said he knows he should talk more but just can't. He said he will try and talk as much as he can but does have a lot on his plate working 12-16 hours. He said that but right now he hasn't texted me in a whole week with no explanation, even after I told him his lack of texting makes me feel concerned. Not even good morning texts or good night texts. I don't know how to take this. On one hand he rlly showed he's caring when he was here, but now he's not I don't rlly feel it. I get he is busy but surely someone has a few seconds in a whole week to text someone if they care about them no?

OP posts:
Nsky62 · 08/01/2025 18:40

Dump, unless seriously ill in hospital

OurDreamLife · 08/01/2025 18:41

He explained to you he is working 12-16. That is the explanation.

It’s only been two months so I’d not be too invested.

smithey85 · 08/01/2025 18:41

I’m sorry OP, it must be hard.

But truthfully, you are not BF and GF, you have been ‘dating’ for 2 months and it sounds as if you live a fair distance apart? At least when not at uni.

Let this one go, or realise this is just a casual setup for him whilst you are at uni together.

Zone2NorthLondon · 08/01/2025 18:42

Stop being so clingy and demanding. it must feel suffocating to him. You know he’s home & busy
Stop fretting and waiting on a man texting you. Its too much

Jazzjazzjazz · 08/01/2025 18:46

OurDreamLife · 08/01/2025 18:41

He explained to you he is working 12-16. That is the explanation.

It’s only been two months so I’d not be too invested.

Sorry but it takes seconds to send a morning text and a goodnight one, if you are thinking about someone, missing them and invested in them it will come naturally and wouldn’t be a burden. Excuses that you don’t have time are for people you don’t really want to talk to, and can’t be arsed to get back to, because you aren’t invested in them. Any number of things could be going on OP, he could be ill, he could’ve lost his phone, he could have a girlfriend already in his home country, he could be questioning the relationship. You can’t know until you have an honest chat where he’s not avoiding the truth. Anyone that’s “too busy” to text for a whole week, isn’t worth the investment and it doesn’t bode well for the future, so if it is because he’s too busy, he’s not a good bet, as like I said it takes seconds to connect with someone and when you love them you want to spend some time chatting even if it’s a bit of back and forth before sleep.

Original poster
Acesocool · 08/01/2025 18:47

Should I say something or just wait? Give him time

OP posts:
Zone2NorthLondon · 08/01/2025 18:49

Jazzjazzjazz · 08/01/2025 18:46

Sorry but it takes seconds to send a morning text and a goodnight one, if you are thinking about someone, missing them and invested in them it will come naturally and wouldn’t be a burden. Excuses that you don’t have time are for people you don’t really want to talk to, and can’t be arsed to get back to, because you aren’t invested in them. Any number of things could be going on OP, he could be ill, he could’ve lost his phone, he could have a girlfriend already in his home country, he could be questioning the relationship. You can’t know until you have an honest chat where he’s not avoiding the truth. Anyone that’s “too busy” to text for a whole week, isn’t worth the investment and it doesn’t bode well for the future, so if it is because he’s too busy, he’s not a good bet, as like I said it takes seconds to connect with someone and when you love them you want to spend some time chatting even if it’s a bit of back and forth before sleep.

Show quote history

And it takes seconds to think,gosh 16hr work day in different country. He must be knackered. It’s demanding and creepy to expect daily contact. This is too full on for a 2mth relationship. If this were a guy you’d all be hanging the bunting 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 and warning darkly to get away

DogInATent · 08/01/2025 18:50

He's working 12-16hrs a day? Wake up princess, he's knackered.

Have you texted him good morning or good night this week?

Zone2NorthLondon · 08/01/2025 18:53

Acesocool · 08/01/2025 18:47

Should I say something or just wait? Give him time

Edited

You have an explanation, is that not enough? Simply text and say thinking of you.Catch up when you’re not knackered
Just that

Jazzjazzjazz · 08/01/2025 21:38

Zone2NorthLondon · 08/01/2025 18:49

And it takes seconds to think,gosh 16hr work day in different country. He must be knackered. It’s demanding and creepy to expect daily contact. This is too full on for a 2mth relationship. If this were a guy you’d all be hanging the bunting 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 and warning darkly to get away

Show quote history

It’s a shame you’re happy with breadcrumbs, but that’s your choice. Personally I’d see no value in investing with someone that can’t send a 5 second text in a day. “Goodnight babe, shattered, hope you’ve had a great day, miss you and can’t wait to see you”, to not bother at all shows that person isn’t on your mind, and you’re not that invested, and there’s plenty more women out there he’d feel that level of investment for- so she’s wasting her time on this guy

Gggglinda · 08/01/2025 21:42

Just get on with your own life instead of focusing on him. He's not your long term boyfriend, he's someone you've been dating for a couple of months. His actions have shown you he isn't taking your relationship that seriously and it certainly isn't a priority to him. The work thing is an excuse, yes I'm sure he's busy, but not having 30 seconds a day to text you or in a week is by choice. Don't look like a desperado and tell him you need more communication, you've already done that and he hasn't made the effort to keep in contact.

Francine84 · 09/01/2025 00:34

Sorry OP but if someone is interested they can find a minute to text you, even if they're very busy.

I'd cut my losses and move on.

Jazzjazzjazz · 09/01/2025 00:48

Francine84 · 09/01/2025 00:34

Sorry OP but if someone is interested they can find a minute to text you, even if they're very busy.

I'd cut my losses and move on.

It’s amazing how many women on here don’t understand that, not sure if they are gullible, don’t understand human behaviour, although they must as they are a human, perhaps never really been into anyone themselves or treat their relationships with the same contempt. Or perhaps they are just trying to be “cool”. It is actually a big red flag of disinterest and excuse making. Some people can’t be alone so a relationship of convenience is hard to let go off, but with space, they easily forget the other person, forget their need for communication, and don’t really feel an overwhelming desire to reach out. Same goes for cheats and liars who are able to compartmentalise when they are otherwise engaged. Unless he’s in hospital, something terrible has happened and he’s dealing with it badly, or he’s lost his phone and your number, this 2 month relationship is a non starter

LonelyInDville · 09/01/2025 01:00

I used to work 12-14 hour days sometimes 7 days a week. I still had 5 mins to send a text to the guy I was dating. Every day. I was even able to squeeze in a quick call here and there. I was also a single parent of an active teenager and managed to still communicate .

theres always time for a quick text, I think he’s not that into you and using you as a time waster until he meets someone else

LionRumpus · 09/01/2025 01:06

People make time for what's important to them

Endofyear · 09/01/2025 01:17

I think sadly he's not that into you. As others have said, even if he's tired, it only takes a minute to text if he's thinking of you. You've only been seeing him a couple of months so maybe the distance has made him realise that you're not the one for him, or maybe he's met someone else. Either way, I'd just leave it and get on with your life.

CheekyHobson · 09/01/2025 01:21

Acesocool · 08/01/2025 18:47

Should I say something or just wait? Give him time

Edited

Have you texted him during the last week and he’s not responding or did you last exchange messages a week ago and been waiting for him to text first since?

VoltaireMittyDream · 09/01/2025 01:28

Crikey, when I was at uni we would send each other letters once or twice over the summer holidays and that was it! I went on my year abroad and communicated with my boyfriend via postcards! Somehow we didn’t die of neglect through not having a good morning message everyday.

People need to relearn how to cope without constant CONSTANT communication and endless reassurance and instant validation.

It’s OK and even normal if your boyfriend isn’t thinking about you all the goddamn time.

Original poster
Acesocool · 09/01/2025 06:38

CheekyHobson · 09/01/2025 01:21

Have you texted him during the last week and he’s not responding or did you last exchange messages a week ago and been waiting for him to text first since?

Edited
Show quote history

Yes I've texted him, he's not responded yet

OP posts:
InkHeart2024 · 09/01/2025 07:05

2 months in is barely a boyfriend. At that stage it's not unusual for either person to stop feeling it and it's perfectly fine for that to happen. However ghosting instead of breaking up is cowardly and shitty. Unfortunately I think you should be expecting a break up text.

InkHeart2024 · 09/01/2025 07:07

VoltaireMittyDream · 09/01/2025 01:28

Crikey, when I was at uni we would send each other letters once or twice over the summer holidays and that was it! I went on my year abroad and communicated with my boyfriend via postcards! Somehow we didn’t die of neglect through not having a good morning message everyday.

People need to relearn how to cope without constant CONSTANT communication and endless reassurance and instant validation.

It’s OK and even normal if your boyfriend isn’t thinking about you all the goddamn time.

Edited

Talking about how things used to be before smartphones and the internet is completely irrelevant. No contact from a boyfriend for a week when you're used to daily contact isn't normal or ok. When something deviates from the norm it's almost always behaviour that is sending a message.

jubs15 · 09/01/2025 07:20

As I said on the other forum I saw this post on, he's your ex-boyfriend but he's not had the decency to tell you. Nobody is so busy or so ill that they can't send a text (unless they're in a coma). If you want to keep seeing someone then you make an effort to keep in touch. Nothing for a week and no response to you messaging him is just damn rude. Even if he does get in touch, is that really how you want to be treated?

TR888 · 09/01/2025 07:33

Many international students live in cultures where dating a Westener would be frowned on, and where parents' opinion matters a huge lot.

He could also potentially have another relationship in the foreign country - it's definitely a possibility. Many of my international students are married and have their spouses and kids in their home country, for example.

In any case, not communicating for a whole week means he can't be missing you much, I'm afraid.

TriangleLight · 09/01/2025 07:38

People are so weird on here to say you’re a princess 🙈

It’s not you, it’s him. I’d just dump him, and move on. This isn’t a relationship.

Working a lot would explain fewer texts, not radio silence for a week.

Celebrationtin1989 · 09/01/2025 07:40

I disagree. One thing to learn whilst young : when men show you what they are - listen!! If he CBA to send a text en route to work or home in 7 whole days it shows you aren’t high up the priority list. If he is working 12 hour days he still has 12 hours to tap out a 30 second message to you. Nah. He’s not that into you. Don’t mean to sound harsh but a man who really wants to make contact will move heaven and earth to do so.