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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My bf hasn't texted me in a week

62 replies

Acesocool · 08/01/2025 18:38

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 months now and met in uni. He shows a lot of care and attention usually, atleast during the semester he would call regularly and text everyday. He also tried to see me as much as I can. His actions truly showed he cared. He also told his brother about me and his mum.

However, now that it's the holidays since he is an international student he is home in his country and also he has work over the holidays. His communication has suddenly dropped off where he's been texting me one time in the whole day and disappears for long periods. I told him how this made me feel and he apologised and said he knows he should talk more but just can't. He said he will try and talk as much as he can but does have a lot on his plate working 12-16 hours. He said that but right now he hasn't texted me in a whole week with no explanation, even after I told him his lack of texting makes me feel concerned. Not even good morning texts or good night texts. I don't know how to take this. On one hand he rlly showed he's caring when he was here, but now he's not I don't rlly feel it. I get he is busy but surely someone has a few seconds in a whole week to text someone if they care about them no?

OP posts:
Acesocool2 · 14/02/2025 03:17

Update on this thread!! I deleted my account before but actually. He told me he was just too busy, and working. And doesn't have any time for anything other than work, so we broke up. Week later I found out he's back with his ex and he's been cheating on me the while he's been away with ex :)

CalicoPusscat · 14/02/2025 03:31

Oh dear, well rid.

You'll meet someone nicer.

TriangleLight · 14/02/2025 06:55

Oh, @Acesocool that’s rubbish. Here’s hoping you meet someone who devotes his time to you 💕

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 14/02/2025 15:48

Acesocool2 · 14/02/2025 03:17

Update on this thread!! I deleted my account before but actually. He told me he was just too busy, and working. And doesn't have any time for anything other than work, so we broke up. Week later I found out he's back with his ex and he's been cheating on me the while he's been away with ex :)

You can do better xxx

outerspacepotato · 14/02/2025 15:58

He's working and going to school and he's currently back on his home country catching up with family and friends.

I think your expectations here are really high after 2 months of seeing him.

I just saw your update. Did you have an agreement after just 2 months that you would be exclusive? That was rushing things.

ARainyNightInSoho · 14/02/2025 18:08

I’m sorry to hear about your update OP. I really hope it hasn’t knocked your confidence and that you find someone better next time, you deserve it.

Some advice for next time, as someone else has already said, if he wanted to he would someone who is keen always finds the time to get in touch.

MounjaroOnMyMind · 14/02/2025 18:13

I would dump him on the basis of that. I doubt there's any future in it anyway as he has no time for you when he's there.

Sodthesystem · 14/02/2025 18:17

12 to 16 hours A DAY?

No wonder he's not texting!

Leave him alone till after summer. He's busy. That's not to say you need to take him back when he returns of course.

'Not even a morning and evening text' what are you? 5? Is he your mummy? Does he have to tuck you in at night before you can sleep too?

I'd lose my mind if a partner needed to hear from me every day. Let alone good morning and goodnight texts. Too clingy.

You're a student, this isn't a forever partner, he's just company when he is there. Enjoy it for what it is and don't take it too seriously.

marcopront · 14/02/2025 21:08

I love threads which give people a chance to demonstrate they don't check the date of the original post or read updates.

Acesocool2 · 15/02/2025 07:22

Sodthesystem · 14/02/2025 18:17

12 to 16 hours A DAY?

No wonder he's not texting!

Leave him alone till after summer. He's busy. That's not to say you need to take him back when he returns of course.

'Not even a morning and evening text' what are you? 5? Is he your mummy? Does he have to tuck you in at night before you can sleep too?

I'd lose my mind if a partner needed to hear from me every day. Let alone good morning and goodnight texts. Too clingy.

You're a student, this isn't a forever partner, he's just company when he is there. Enjoy it for what it is and don't take it too seriously.

Edited

If you saw the update its because he cheated on me 🤣

Zone2NorthLondon · 15/02/2025 15:50

Hope you’re ok?Going forward don’t be so intense so quickly. No one needs or wants that. I do think it is too needy to be so switched on for someone else

Sodthesystem · 15/02/2025 16:37

Acesocool2 · 15/02/2025 07:22

If you saw the update its because he cheated on me 🤣

Well he's a dick but still doesn't change the fact that you expected good night texts when he'd told you he was working 12 hour shifts.

Sure, work in this case actually meant cheat. But you didn't know that at the time.

Role reversal if some bloke I dated in my uni years wanted me to call him after my 12 hour shifts, he'd be an ex pretty damn fast.

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