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Original poster

What does he want this time?

53 replies

SolBrillo · 03/01/2025 11:45

Hi all,

I was very in love with someone last year who just used me over and over again until finally I put a stop to it. He started actually dating someone whilst still sweet talking me occasionally and I told him I was cutting him off on all social media because I didn’t want to watch him pursue a relationship with someone else. Basically it was a case of if I’m not good enough for you to have a relationship with then I don’t want anything to do with you. I got tired of being at his beck and call for fun.

As soon as I told him I was cutting him off he blocked me on everything before I could have the chance to do it. I only told him I was going to unfriend him etc as I didn’t want any animosity or to look childish so I wished him all the best and told him I hoped he was happy but I’d prefer to just move on and not watch stories of dates with his new girl etc.

Anyway, I noticed a few days later he had unblocked me but I just left it at that as I was hurt by his behaviour and wanted nothing more to do with him.

We haven’t spoken for over 6 months and I noticed on NYE at 2am, he had sent me a friend request on Facebook? I thought him re adding me was strange in general but at that time just after we had gone into a new year seemed especially odd to me.

Im now curious at to what he wants now. He knows that he won’t be able to use me anymore after how I stood up for myself all those months ago. I had a quick look at his profile and surprise surprise he’s still ‘single’. I honestly feel like he never cared about me anyway and was never really interested in me or my life so why would he be trying to establish some sort of connection months down the line?

I thought once we stopped talking I’d never hear from him again as he knew I had feelings for him and I assumed he’d be happy to have me out of his life given I was no longer any use to him. What’s your thoughts?

OP posts:
LoserWinner · 03/01/2025 11:51

It’s possible his FB account has been hacked, and the friend request is from the cloned account.

Seaoftroubles · 03/01/2025 11:52

It's obvious what he's after! He's single again so hoping for attention and to smooth talk his way back into your good books and into your bed. And part of you will be tempted! Don't do it, stay NC for your own good as you know that it will not end well and you will be back to where you were last year.

ShadowsOfTheDays · 03/01/2025 11:53

He's just looking for a bit of attention. His ego needs a little stroke.

Namechange2272 · 03/01/2025 11:54

He's looking for an ego boost. Block him

Arlanymor · 03/01/2025 11:55

It was 2am on NYD - drunk, single, wanting female company.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 03/01/2025 11:55

Stop.

stop thinking about him.

it was probably a drunken New years Eve anyway !

just double check he is blocked by you everywhere.

then put him out of your mind.

MayaPinion · 03/01/2025 11:56

FFS, just block him. He’s not going to run off into the sunset with you. He’s just looking for a warm hole. Stop wasting your time and brain space on someone who treats you badly.

SnowflakeSmasher86 · 03/01/2025 11:56

Realised he didn’t have a NYE booty call so thought he’d hit you up while he was drunk probably.

Stop giving him headspace. It doesn’t matter what HE wants. What do you want? (I’m really hoping it’s not him!)

So ignore, block, delete, move on. Start a new year without this user in it, even if he’s only in your inbox.

NovemberMorn · 03/01/2025 11:57

Move on Love, he is a loser...end of.

Gliblet · 03/01/2025 12:01

Attention seeking, especially if he's recently become single, he'll just be looking for someone to pay him attention. Someone who displays this kind of behaviour doesn't need to feel any particular connection with the person they're targeting, the important thing is the attention that results and he thinks he'll get that from you. Unless you want to prove him right you need to stop checking in on him and just leave him to do whatever he decides to do with the rest of his life, and concentrate on your own instead.

Original poster
SolBrillo · 03/01/2025 12:05

I should also clarify I literally had nothing to do with him over these last 6 months. I looked at his social media occasionally and he was single a matter of weeks after I cut him off so he seems to have been single majority of the time we haven’t spoken. He also doesn’t drink! Hence I thought the date and time was weird! But he’s not having his way with me this time. I’ve already got over him once and it turns out it wasn’t actually that hard to get over him. Would love to tell him that but that would mean starting a conversation which I refuse to do!

OP posts:
HellonHeels · 03/01/2025 12:05

Most likely any or all of:

Booty call
Thought you'd be alone and missing him
Wants to see if he can still manipulate you
Fancies ego boost of shagging you again (if he's a really nasty one, will then enjoy toying with you for a bit and dumping you once you're on the hook)

Block him and never look back.

pictoosh · 03/01/2025 12:06

The new relationship has fallen apart and he wants you to keep him serviced with sex and attention.

Don't start telling yourself he's seen the light and caught the feels for you.

NovemberMorn · 03/01/2025 12:10

SolBrillo · 03/01/2025 12:05

I should also clarify I literally had nothing to do with him over these last 6 months. I looked at his social media occasionally and he was single a matter of weeks after I cut him off so he seems to have been single majority of the time we haven’t spoken. He also doesn’t drink! Hence I thought the date and time was weird! But he’s not having his way with me this time. I’ve already got over him once and it turns out it wasn’t actually that hard to get over him. Would love to tell him that but that would mean starting a conversation which I refuse to do!

What advice are you looking for?
You met a man who treated you like crap, he finished with you, months on you are over him. He recently got back in touch.....

Why do you even care?

Opentooffers · 03/01/2025 12:16

Oops! Not as over him as you like to think you are. "I cut him off 6 months ago". But by a few weeks later you were SM stalking him, and have by the look of it, regularly done so since to find out if he's still single or not. So not really blocked or cut off.
He sends a friend request, and you accept straight away and look at his profile. Pretty much showing him that you're still there to be messed with.
Now you are asking on here, giving him lots of headspace. Keep trying, you've still got a long way to go before getting over him. Stop reconnecting whenever he asks for a start. You are kidding yourself.

LonginesPrime · 03/01/2025 12:17

I honestly feel like he never cared about me anyway and was never really interested in me or my life so why would he be trying to establish some sort of connection months down the line?

It sounds like you're secretly hoping that this might be the sign that he actually does care about you, OP. Don't get sucked back in!

He knows you like him and wanted more from him. It sounds like you were waiting for him to change his attitude and fall for you when you were seeing him, and he obviously knows this. He knows he can click his fingers and you will come running, and it sounds like he failed to pull on NYE so thought he might as well contact you as you'll come running.

So it's up to you whether you go back for another round of heartache or ignore him and move on.

MounjaroOnMyMind · 03/01/2025 12:18

LoserWinner · 03/01/2025 11:51

It’s possible his FB account has been hacked, and the friend request is from the cloned account.

Far more likely that he was drunk and remembered the OP and thought she'd come round for a pity shag.

TenderChicken · 03/01/2025 12:20

"He knows that he won’t be able to use me anymore after how I stood up for myself all those months ago."

I don't think he does know that, actually. You tolerated his behaviour for a while, maybe you will again.

Madamegreen · 03/01/2025 12:23

Either start communicating and building a connection or don't. Let's not pretend there isn't a hint of interest. The concept of a damsel in distress isn't true in this case................

AaaahBlandsHatch · 03/01/2025 12:28

Im now curious at to what he wants now

Hmmm, yes well you're right it does seem very complicated and difficult to work out. Drunk, 2am on NYE, suddenly contacting an ex-fuck buddy. What could he possibly be after? I guess it will forever be a mystery.

TwistedWonder · 03/01/2025 12:34

OP I just read your previous thread on this man and there’s nothing to add that you haven’t been told time and time again.

He doesn’t give a shit about you. He used you for sex when he had nothing else on offer and he’s testing the waters to see if you’re still available for a shag when he fancies it.

There’s nothing g deep and meaningful so stop giving him headspace and move on.

Deadringer · 03/01/2025 12:36

Who cares what he wants? Let him fuck right off

MyNewLife2025 · 03/01/2025 12:51

6 months is nothing.

He is single and is hoping to reign you back in as a stop back until he has someone else.

I think you should block him @SolBrillo . For your own peace of mind.

Meadowfinch · 03/01/2025 12:54

He's at a loose end and hopeful of a posterity bonk. 🙄

Don't take any notice.

battairzeedurgzome · 03/01/2025 12:59

Maybe he sent a similar request to all his ex-girlfriends, maybe he thinks of you as his fallback person.