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Original poster

What does he want this time?

53 replies

SolBrillo · 03/01/2025 11:45

Hi all,

I was very in love with someone last year who just used me over and over again until finally I put a stop to it. He started actually dating someone whilst still sweet talking me occasionally and I told him I was cutting him off on all social media because I didn’t want to watch him pursue a relationship with someone else. Basically it was a case of if I’m not good enough for you to have a relationship with then I don’t want anything to do with you. I got tired of being at his beck and call for fun.

As soon as I told him I was cutting him off he blocked me on everything before I could have the chance to do it. I only told him I was going to unfriend him etc as I didn’t want any animosity or to look childish so I wished him all the best and told him I hoped he was happy but I’d prefer to just move on and not watch stories of dates with his new girl etc.

Anyway, I noticed a few days later he had unblocked me but I just left it at that as I was hurt by his behaviour and wanted nothing more to do with him.

We haven’t spoken for over 6 months and I noticed on NYE at 2am, he had sent me a friend request on Facebook? I thought him re adding me was strange in general but at that time just after we had gone into a new year seemed especially odd to me.

Im now curious at to what he wants now. He knows that he won’t be able to use me anymore after how I stood up for myself all those months ago. I had a quick look at his profile and surprise surprise he’s still ‘single’. I honestly feel like he never cared about me anyway and was never really interested in me or my life so why would he be trying to establish some sort of connection months down the line?

I thought once we stopped talking I’d never hear from him again as he knew I had feelings for him and I assumed he’d be happy to have me out of his life given I was no longer any use to him. What’s your thoughts?

OP posts:
Panama2 · 03/01/2025 13:11

I think his account has been hacked you are already friends on facebook

itsstillmehere · 03/01/2025 13:16

Are you hoping he is going to say it was all a big mistake and you are the one he really loves and he can't live without you? That's not going to happen. You know that.

Justcallmebebes · 03/01/2025 13:18

Arlanymor · 03/01/2025 11:55

It was 2am on NYD - drunk, single, wanting female company.

This. Drunk and hoping for a booty call. He's a loser

PennyApril54 · 03/01/2025 13:24

Tbh I think you should dodge this entirely. Don't start 2025 with regrets which by the sounds of previous interactions and endings with this man seems likely if you get involved in any way. Best to not communicate at all. You deserve better. You could easily be seeing someone therefore accepting or interacting with him would feel inappropriate and you'd ignore him for that reason. Just ignore, he'll probably think that's the case. Good luck , find someone who treats you better ❤️

Mymanyellow · 03/01/2025 13:30

He wants to get his dick wet.

crashbandicooty · 03/01/2025 13:40

To use you again. Only if you let him.

Collette78 · 03/01/2025 13:51

Probably feeling sorry for himself at 2am on NYE and reaching out to whoever he thinks will respond. Likely not just you.

Some people do this on and off for years as a source of attention and validation.

Unless you want to swim in that same pool then don’t get drawn back in.

OOOtil2025 · 03/01/2025 19:47

SolBrillo · 03/01/2025 12:05

I should also clarify I literally had nothing to do with him over these last 6 months. I looked at his social media occasionally and he was single a matter of weeks after I cut him off so he seems to have been single majority of the time we haven’t spoken. He also doesn’t drink! Hence I thought the date and time was weird! But he’s not having his way with me this time. I’ve already got over him once and it turns out it wasn’t actually that hard to get over him. Would love to tell him that but that would mean starting a conversation which I refuse to do!

@Seaoftroubles has it nailed! I would bet my last fiver that if you broke NC and spoke to him or messaged him he will tell you that ‘you’re the one that got away’ or ‘you were The One’ or even that you’re ‘soulmates’.

In reality you’ll end up hurt as he was wallowing and lamenting the lack of saucy good fun. Please don’t take offence at that - it seems to have been the same with my single friends over the Christmas period for most of them - ex ghosts of the past have all sent messages or tried to get in touch.

Don't let yourself be hurt again.

icelolly12 · 03/01/2025 19:53

He's realised you're the love of his life and is desperate to be with you.

Clearly that's what you want to hear OP, but sorry to say he's just after an easy shag

Left · 03/01/2025 19:59

Absolutely a booty call or ego boost.

Original poster
SolBrillo · 04/01/2025 19:56

Quick update - He messaged me today. Literally said hi, asked how life was and by about the 3rd message he sent a photo of him lying in bed in his boxer shorts! Anyway; he didn’t get what he wanted and I am actually in disbelief at the audacity of him. No apology, no happy new year or whatever it literally took 3 messages to get straight to what he wanted after 7 months no contact!

OP posts:
PennyApril54 · 04/01/2025 20:08

Block. There's better than that crap out there for you ❤️

TwigletsAndRadishes · 04/01/2025 20:15

I was very in love with someone last year who just used me over and over again until finally I put a stop to it...... Basically it was a case of if I’m not good enough for you to have a relationship with then I don’t want anything to do with you. I got tired of being at his beck and call for fun......I was hurt by his behaviour and wanted nothing more to do with him.

Im now curious at to what he wants now. He knows that he won’t be able to use me anymore after how I stood up for myself all those months ago...... I honestly feel like he never cared about me anyway and was never really interested in me or my life so why would he be trying to establish some sort of connection months down the line?

What’s your thoughts?

My thoughts are that he's bored and fancies toying with your emotions again for an ego boost and something to do until someone he prefers comes along. I hope you aren't thinking of letting him?

Ignore his friends request. Just ignore it. Absolutely nothing will have changed in how he's going to treat you so don't waste your time.

TwistedWonder · 04/01/2025 20:20

Why are you surprised OP? No one else is . It’s obvious what he wanted.
He’s used you for convenient sex when it suits him and do why would this time be any different?

You know all he’s interested in is a shag, why even bother responding to him?

outerspacepotato · 04/01/2025 20:32

He wants sex and thinks you're available since you haven't blocked him.

If you were over him you wouldn't be looking at his social media and wouldn't be starting threads on sm about him.

Block him for real and put him in the rear view mirror where he belongs.

MsDogLady · 04/01/2025 22:21

…and I’m actually in disbelief at the audacity of him.

So this is the handsome 38 year old loser who still lives at home??

Having been on your other threads, @SolBrillo, his recent fishing expedition is absolutely not a surprise.

From the very beginning you jumped into forest and car sex. He eventually said he had no feelings for you, but would repeatedly declare that he knew you had feelings for him. He got a buzz just knowing he could use you, drop you, and pick you up again on a whim. Kudos for asserting your self-respect six months ago.

This sleazy misogynist hasn’t changed one iota. He has the same agenda as always — hunting for easy sex. He wondered if you would weaken your boundaries for irresistible him. I’m glad that you now want better for yourself.

Block him immediately, @SolBrillo.

Dery · 04/01/2025 22:26

@SolBrillo - you need to work on being over this guy. If you were completely over him, you would be giving him no headspace. He’s bad news. Stop engaging.

TwistedWonder · 04/01/2025 22:30

Dery · 04/01/2025 22:26

@SolBrillo - you need to work on being over this guy. If you were completely over him, you would be giving him no headspace. He’s bad news. Stop engaging.

Absolutely this. Maybe I’m wrong OP but I think the reason you responded is because you’re not over him and deep down you were hoping he’d tell you he’d changed and realised he’s in love with you after all.

He’s a user who just wants to get his dick wet. Block him, stop giving him headspace and think about some therapy to raise your bar and improve your self respect.

SpryCat · 04/01/2025 22:32

My guess is he treated the other woman like crap too, she told him to do one and he is trying to hook in you again. He will have messaged other woman and he thinks he’s such a big deal that one of you will get back in the game to be treated like crap.
At least you can move on knowing he is just a sleaze ball who enjoys hurting women’s feelings

Michellesbackbrace · 04/01/2025 22:38

He’s bored and lonely and wants some attention and a shag.

Thats it really.

ClareBlue · 04/01/2025 23:48

You are definitely not over him. People that are over their exes don't give a shit what they want when they send messages or know if they are sjngle or not. They just delete the message and give it no head space and get on with their life.
So it's either engage and be treated the same as before or work on really getting over him and don't engage what so ever.
The choice is yours. You know the consequences of the first choice.

dramalessllama · 05/01/2025 00:04

This is your chance to do what you wanted to do before - BLOCK HIM!

Show off that new shiny spine of yours!

healthybychristmas · 05/01/2025 00:19

The term fishing expedition is such a good one for this sort of situation.

MummaEllie · 05/01/2025 00:21

He's probably trying his luck

slightlydistrac · 05/01/2025 00:28

Ignore the twat.

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