Remarried and Stay at Home Wife

[calmandcollected101]

Anyone had a dc from a previous relationship, however, remarried a man that didn't have any dc but was you were able to be a SAHM/SAHW?

If you have a 7 figure business, surely you could delegate more, hire some staff. Re-arrange things so you are ‘at work’ less?

I know running your own business you are rarely away (from personal experience)
but if you have decent profit margins, there must be a way you can make changes to give yourself more time.

I think an excellent compromise would be a situation where you work part time, that’s my life at the moment and it works - enough to keep my hand in at work and to pay my way, time to be at home and feel
ive earnt a weekend.

Why can't you hire someone now and work part time?

Don't give the money to your mum because if she remarried or is married then your money will be inherited by her husband. The same will happen if you remarry, your assets will be inherited by your husband unless you make provision in your will for your children.

The first thing you should do ASAP & definitely before you start a new relationship is to see a very good inheritance lawyer. You should set up a trust fund for your children & put property & assets I to trust for your children. Leave your mother and potential partners out of the equation, your children come first.

You can never trust a man 100%…. They turn even in marriage

https://www.gov.uk/trusts-taxes/parental-trusts-for-children

Even if you cools find someone who wanted to take on financial responsibility for supporting you and your DC, once you've sold/given up your business, how are you going to cope if/when the marriage breaks down? Seems a bizarre life goal to me.

Maybe buy a weekly lottery ticket instead.

Rich men have the pick of life partners and it's very hard being the wife of such a person. They are demanding in business and in life. You need to look and act perfect. I tried it and I couldn't keep my mouth shut! No boozy lunches, no putting on weight. You're a trophy.
If you turnover £1m+ in your business your nuts to give it up. You should have enough profit to hire staff to help you.
I'd be more concerned that you'll get targeted for your money by poncey guys looking for a meal ticket.

Build your self respect and confidence. Go for kindness above all else.

Genuinely, what does this guy get out of financing you and your kid for the rest of his life? It’s amazing that some people have such high opinions of themselves that they think others will see this as a good deal. Men do it too.

Most single mothers I know do feel like they are spinning plates but generally they keep working and to keep their independence. I don't think working through your 20/30s in particularly unusual.

It's interesting though you attach security to marriage, I don't believe that just because you are married that another man wouldn't do the same as your ex did to you. Or that you would have the same freedom that you had before.

$100 on the 7 figure business being an MLM.

So now we’re turning on the fictional wealthy and generous man in OP’s fever dream of a lazy life? lmao

OP sounds like you’ve had a really tough time. Understandable you’d like at some stage to be looked after and not have the load all on your shoulders. Do think you are romanticising SAHM role though. Seems to be former what you really craving. That and a break and not juggling so much (many parents I’m sure can relate).
How would you feel though meeting a man who said to you from the outset that he wants to give up work, be a stay at home Dad whilst you look after him financially? Not a very attractive prospect and if I met someone wanting that from the get-go I’d be thinking sod that.
Unfortunately being a proper grown up sucks at times but with right man maybe you can in time both work less and work together as unit to get to a place of financial freedom sooner. For you both. Not one as a dependent.
A resilient, business woman who has overcome significant challenges and who is working to provide for her family and to get financial freedom much more appealing prospect than:
‘Marry me and provide for me ever more just because I missed out’… especially as sounds like this generous knight in shining armour may only theoretical at the minute?
Meantime be extra kind to yourself. Carve out me time whenever you can and never underestimate all you have already achieved.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5242777-dp-only-wants-to-eat-luxury-food-but-doesnt-bring-a-luxury-wage
This might be an interesting read for you.

This is all so true. I love my job and have worked hard for it but as a single parent.

My current boyfriend has just quit his job (long back story) and hasn't worked since the 14th of December. Financially it's fine as he's paid his rent upfront and has some money but it is really impacted us. We don't have work to talk about anymore, I was flat out on the run up to Christmas with Christmas work dos and trips in the office, he's basically became a stay at home Dad to his teenage daughter. All conversations are now about bike rides and what he's cooked for dinner.
My company is very generous with pay rises and benefits, but this is money for my mortgage, my lifestyle and my kids. Working to provide for my kids has been tough and I'm really proud of where I have got to, and for me I want a true partner. Can you imagine what slack I would be picking up now if boyfriend and I did live together? Only time will tell if this resolves itself but I agree that looking to be taken care of and giving up work are not attractive qualities.

This. Is it a coaching MLM?

It’s amazing that some people have such high opinions of themselves that they think others will see this as a good deal. Men do it too.

True and they get called cocklodgers. OP I think really think you want this. You just need a rest and rebalance. Hire in help till things ease up. Separate that issue from the man side of things. Take care of yourself.

I dont really think you want this.

Can't edit on this phone.

What would be in it for your new husband?

I kind of have, except dh also has two kids who are very Labour intense in terms of long school runs etc. I've sort of picked up most of that Labour as dh is by far the higher earner and he enjoys being at work and needs to physically be there. I enjoy being at home and it's helped me with my own DD's one of whom needs me around a bit more (she is struggling with her MH a bit). It works well for us but I still feel guilty after having Worked all my life (and like a dervish when I was single mum), that I'm not bringing any money in. For the first year I really struggled with that although Dh is not concerned by it and it's by far the best option for our family.

I'd never be a SAHM I don't trust men at all with good reason.

@piscofrisco I think blending families and doing as you’ve done, splitting the work between financial and childcare contributions, is entirely different from OP’s brainwave. Your doing childcare and school runs enables your DH’s income. OP wants a DH’s income with none of the bother of stepchildren.

This is a much better idea- keep control and financial security, have time with DC, no need to tie yourself to some bloke. Also much easier to find a good employee than a man who wants a SAHW.