Met boyfriend family…AIBU?

[Nettynoo112]

Boyfriend of just nearly a year, met his family over Christmas for a family night. Very big family with a lot of children as well.
my family is quite small but close, I also have a 8 year old son but boyfriend hasn’t met him yet but I would be thinking about this soon if all goes well
anyway- his family was crazy, so loud, everyone constantly taking the piss our of each other but the main thing was the language. They all swore openly, the younger kids too (not the kids under 8 but everyone else). In the party games they openly gave answers with swear words e.g “name something you would find at a party” “drunken cunts”
I couldn’t believe it. Am I being too judgey? I’d be horrified my son hearing all that

You are clearly not compatible.

If you wouldn't be comfortable with your son attending these events it's not going to work long term. They are not going to stop for you and your son.

Not at all. You don't want your son exposed to that nonsense behaviour, I can understand your reservations here as a mother.

If you want your potential children to grow up thinking that’s normal then go ahead. It’s not though, and I suspect what you have seen just scratches the surface of what they’re really like towards others.

They're a bit rough aren't they. I wouldn’t want it.

I think there are worse things than swearing. I grew up in a very sweary family and culture so I am not bothered by it. I am fascinated by it though. You might find this interesting www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/the-science-of-swearing

This was certainly true for me in my first relationship. His family who drank heavily, smoked like chimneys and had awful language. It was how he had been brought up and whilst he seemed nice on the surface, those traits came through by the bucket load once we moved in together. Sorry OP but if you've only just met the family then it must be early days so I'd run.

Even If your OH was different, he isn’t but let’s just say he is, the family will always be a bone of contention and adding children to the mix will only exacerbate family tensions. This isn’t the family you want to make your life in.

There are worse things of course and I do swear occasionally myself but not in front of children ever. Especially not words like c**t

@Nettynoo112 there is some interesting information on the link I shared about swearing in front of children but more research needs to be done.

I was sworn in front of regularly and am comfortable swearing but I can code switch.