Why do so many men threaten suicide?

[HelenInHeels]

I'm not talking generally here or minimising the reality of male suicide for real.

I mean guys who threaten to kill themselves if their wife or partner goes through with dumping their sorry asses when they've been found out. I've seen it so many times on here. It makes a mockery of suicide victims and I hate it.

It's a risky tactic. They're saying they are so desperate for a relationship with this person, that they don't care that the person doesn't like them anymore and will only be with them to stop feeling like they are responsible for his gruesome demise.
I'm sure it never actually works, that empty threat? In that nobody would take back a man who said it, and no man who said it has ever killed themselves.

It's becsue they are manipulative cunts.

I think it's a symptom of a bigger issue - women are made responsible for men's emotions, and if we don't baby them we'll be responsible for whatever they do.

Control

Interesting question.

I wonder if it's because they can't often threaten to withold the children, on the basis the majority live with the woman?

Both of those things are sometimes used as leverage or a desperate cry for help.

Because they are throwing a tantrum, and of course there feelings are more important than there partners.
Scared of being alone/ homeless as they have moved in by stealth also and don't pay anything.

Not all men are bad just some.

Got to say my ex is still living. He threatened to kill himself loads.

This has happened to me twice. The first time, my whole life flashed by me in my head, if he does this then I will be arrested and my family will be so upset.
He never did follow through and I left but called the police for his safety at the same time.

Still makes me angry that I was manipulated like that.

Power, control, manipulation.
Usually hand in hand with other abusive behaviour, it’s very rarely threatened in isolation. Just another tool in the armoury, usually used if their partner pulls away or threatens to leave.

It's not just men who do it. A woman I cut off threatened to kill herself if I wouldn't resume the relationship.

It's emotional manipulation and I believe she's done it to her boyfriend who kept dumping her and getting back together with her.

It's a control mechanism and these kinds of people tend to be manipulative and domineering. It's abusive.

Because it’s often successful.

women are conditioned to take responsibility for other people and their feelings so many will take on the feeling that they’ll be to blame if he does it. Men know that.

Men who do that will generally have been manipulative in other ways as well.

Because it’s a very easy threat to get people to ‘jump to’.

Because they are human and humans are messy.
There are many multiple reasons for this.
For some it's calculating, conscious manipulation.
For others they are desperate, in a crap situation they don't have the character or tools to fix and are grasping at straws.
For others it's emotional laziness, they don't feel inclined to put in the work on self reflection and change so they try to push the problem away with the ultimate silencer.
For some it's genuinely how they feel but still may never happen as we all fear change but it's not always as bad as we feared...

And lots more beside. I don't think you can reduce the breath of human personalities and situations down to one boiled down pat answer.

Because they are confident it will work!
Problem is it leaves them with nowhere to go if it doesn't. 😬
In my experience it's not uncommon for men to issue ultimatums without thinking things through, they assume by default that women will fall in line with their manipulations 😳

Exactly. Far too many women acquiesce with doing all the emotional work of a relationship, so it seems perfectly natural to the man that the woman will remain responsible for his happiness even when she’s ending the relationship.

Mine threatened this. I just told him to do what he wanted. Needless to say he didn’t.

It's a weapon they use to manipulate you. When I was a teenager my dad threatened suicide because I had a relationship with my mother. He told me exactly how he was going to do it. If that had worked and I did what he wanted then no doubt he would've trotted the threat out over other things he wanted.
I think men mainly use it against women to appeal to our more empathetic nature, assuming we will cave to protect the special man.

This is a comprehensive answer, much better than mine!

Because they are manipulative spoilt brats, who are determined to get their own way, having a tantrum and looking for a specific reaction.

As with toddler tantrums, the only thing to do is ignore them and walk away.

Manipulation.

most people who threaten suicide have no intention of going through with it.

Nailed it. And they think women are pushovers. Would they make the same threat to a man who was denying them something they wanted?

Not sure but the high male suicide rate is certainly something that needs more research and more support than it currently gets. These are our Dad's, brother's and son's. We have to do better than simply casually dismissing the issue of male suicide.

Because they are manipulative weaklings.

Agreed but the men who commit suicide are not the ones who threaten it.

In my experience, the men who go on to commit suicide are those who don't know how to tell anyone their problems, those who have been raised to think they should be the provider, have a stiff upper lip, not show emotions.

We have a large number of young men who cannot see their place in the world, worry, bottle it up, think they are failing, compare themselves too harshly with others etc.

Reassuring them, helping them find their feet, not expecting too much of them too soon is so important.

Nobody is doing that. We are discussing men who threaten it as a tactic, they have no intention of doing it.

Since women are three times more likely to attempt suicide/self harm shouldn't that be the main focus? Men are more likely to die because they use more violent means.

‐--
According to some threads on here the threat does seem to keep the abused woman in the bad relationship as they dare not leave. They've been programmed and trained over many years to put his wants first. It's manipulation and control.