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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband anger on his birthday

65 replies

JaneSR · 26/12/2024 21:30

I just need to vent - husbands birthday - from the moment he woke up has just been awful. I booked a holiday (overseas where he loves!) as his birthday surprise and got a few more gimmicky presents so he had more to open - he went nuts calling them
all rubbish. Every year we go theatre - this year a few weeks ago he mentioned sport he enjoys was on the same day. Had a big conversation at that time about cancelling theatre - he said no and that he wanted to go theatre. Angry this morning as he said I knew he really wanted to go sport match and hated theatre!! Then snapped and aggressive all day ruining it for us all. On top of this telling me how bored he is, complaining in restaurant , snapping and shouting at me for everything, pulled down birthday decorations I put up and then sat on sofa moaning!! Openly telling daughter that I have ruined it all! I had nothing for my birthday and not even a night out! He gets an expensive holiday and an expensive day out and does this!! 😢😢 Same every year!! Really upset

OP posts:
ShortWide · 26/12/2024 21:41

You’re in an abusive relationship. There’s not much more to say.

I hope you are able to leave him.

madaboutpurple · 26/12/2024 22:12

His behaviour is dreadful. I am stunned at his comments.

Liv999 · 26/12/2024 22:14

Leave he's not worth your time or effort

PussInBin20 · 26/12/2024 22:22

We’ll make sure it’s not the same next year and LTB!

GCAcademic · 26/12/2024 22:27

Do you just “need to vent” or do you actually want to do anything about this? Given that this happens every year, and that he doesn’t bother for your birthday, why did you even bother with him? Why are you with him at all, given that he shows every sign of hating you?

Falalalala24 · 26/12/2024 22:30

Same every year? What’s going on?!

Santaisfillingthesacks · 26/12/2024 22:32

My exh ruined my 40th.. He was an exh before I was 41.. Why are you wasting £££ on him? Imo a ticket to his sporting choice whilst you packed his bags would have been better...

OatFlatWhiteForMePlease · 26/12/2024 22:34

Nothing will change unless you leave him.

feelingfree17 · 26/12/2024 22:35

Why would you want to do anything for this dreadful man apart from wanting to leave him asap?

username299 · 26/12/2024 22:35

Every year you bend over backwards and he has a tantrum, complains and tears down decorations. On top of this he never makes an effort for you. Yet you carry on expecting a different outcome.

rwalker · 26/12/2024 22:45

I couldn’t cope with a grown adult making such a fuss over a birthday acting like a spoilt child I’d be off

captainPugwashh · 26/12/2024 23:08

Bin him off!

Flatandhappy · 26/12/2024 23:11

That is not normal behaviour but the fact that he behaved like that suggests that he expects it to be tolerated. It really is time to tell him that if he ever acts like that again you are done.

Biscuitburglar · 26/12/2024 23:14

Does he really behave badly every year on his birthday? If so, stop celebrating his birthday! Tell him tomorrow that you’ve had enough of his birthday tantrums and it’s best all round if there’s never a repeat, so from now on he can do what he likes on his birthday but you won’t be getting involved. Job done.

blacksax · 26/12/2024 23:27

When's your birthday?

Give yourself the best possible present and divorce the despicable bastard.

Bachboo · 26/12/2024 23:30

Why in the hell are you bothering? Honestly!

AdoraBell · 26/12/2024 23:33

As he does the same every year there is not point spending another year him. You, and your daughter, deserve better.

mathanxiety · 26/12/2024 23:34

Same every year

So why are you bothering?

zeibesaffron · 26/12/2024 23:35

Tell him to fuck off and grow up!!

Book a solicitors appointment tomorrow- and get advice, so you can leave. Your poor kids are seeing this shitty behaviour and that is not okay! Your husband is a prick!!

You are worth a million times more than this - I am angry and upset for you!

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 26/12/2024 23:46

LTB

LongDarkTeatime · 27/12/2024 00:05

Has he ever treated you with love, affection and respect? What were you hoping would be the result of making such a fuss of him on his birthday when he did nothing for yours?
Did you hope it would teach him how you would like to be treated? Or perhaps to make him so happy or grateful that he shows you affection? Or maybe just to keep the peace so he’s not abusive for a few days?
There will be something behind his behaviour. Hoping to plaster over it with generosity will not change that.

Bestfootforward11 · 27/12/2024 00:05

Hello. I couldn’t not post. This is just awful behaviour from a grown man. There is nothing that can justify this behaviour. I think you know what you need to do. I wish you all the best x

MellersSmellers · 27/12/2024 00:12

God. What a child.

EVHead · 27/12/2024 00:39

What a fucking baby. Please tell me you’re making plans to bin him off. Let him learn what a shit birthday really is: next year he gets to spend it all by himself with no fucking presents!

Incenseda · 27/12/2024 00:43

He is an abusive prick.
Why are you tolerating this and allowing your child to witness such abuse.

Absolutely shocking behaviour.
Wake up and protect your child from that bullying twat.

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