Where do I begin? We have been together nearly a year. He has met my family and child. I haven’t his. I’ve only met some uni friends at a party I was his plus one for. He wanted me to attend his brother’s wedding but that was all talk. He also kept his child a secret from me for a while. His parents apparently know of me.
I fell pregnant a few months ago and he barraged me into an abortion. There were some concerning medical reasons but after an ectopic previously it’s unlikely I would get pregnant or ever will again. This was my only chance. I caved in and had a termination. Please don’t judge me. I’m 34 and he’s 49. He already has a child too. On one hand he’s very loving but then he’s been awful. It was only just before I terminated he warmed to the idea. I was left emotionally to deal with it. The whole thing has left me broken.
Anyhow, he said he wished to be with me at Christmas as I wouldn’t be with my family and alone. Also, after everything I really needed him. The following morning his took this back and is now with family over Christmas and fitting me in briefly on Boxing Day after the family walk. He’ll arrive in the evening and be off in the morning because I actually have to get back home etc and it’s a struggle. I booked a cottage, naïvely expecting he would join me. I also extended an invite re NY and he was reluctant and came up with silly reasons such as it’s not a big thing to him. Also, suggested Christmas Eve but he could make it as he was busy organising Christmas things with his parents/family. So, after everything I’ve been through he is fine knowing I’m alone. He’s also mad I have now booked a holiday to see friends abroad for NY and claimed I am a selfish partner as I never even asked him and took it upon myself nor did I invite him. To this end he put the phone down on me and is hardly speaking to me. He will often block me when he’s cross.
The other side to this is he says I’m everything to him and he wants a future and to do things in the right order such as marriage then children etc. I am so sad, hurt and feeling on my knees here. I’ve tried explaining but it falls on deaf ears and ends up with my faults being examined and he just doesn’t seem to understand. I’ve left it at that. I said I am hurt and tired of trying to get him to see/and struggle to believe he loves me as he claims. I can’t even succinctly detail the emotional pain I’m feeling currently.
Any pears of wisdom greatly appreciated and received.