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Original poster

Would you be hurt if your partner said this to you?

60 replies

Northsouth12 · 21/12/2024 21:09

Watching tv tonight with my partner, been together 1.5 years. On the screen is an obese man lying sleeping, very hairy chest and big ‘man boobs’. My boyfriend said to me “did you see the size of his nipples??” implying they were big. I didn’t notice them so he paused it and said “they’re just like yours”.

i was so hurt by this and didn’t find it funny at all. He says he didn’t mean it to be hurtful and doesn’t really see how it was. He said we’ve spoke before about my nipples so he thought it was ok. The conversation we had about my nipples was that I felt worried they were on the bigger side but that the midwife had said previously they were perfect for breastfeeding my children.

he genuinely doesn’t seem to get how it was a mean or hurtful comment and is now huffing with me because I was hurt by it

how would you feel?

OP posts:
Circumferences · 21/12/2024 21:11

Maybe a bit insensitive but not the end of the world?
No idea why a man would comment on the size of another man's nipples anyway....

Original poster
Northsouth12 · 21/12/2024 21:13

Circumferences · 21/12/2024 21:11

Maybe a bit insensitive but not the end of the world?
No idea why a man would comment on the size of another man's nipples anyway....

I genuinely don’t know why he would compare them except to be mean

OP posts:
TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 21/12/2024 21:14

He was sexually aroused by the man and panicked. By comparing them to yours it makes it okay?

I’m just guessing, btw.

Original poster
Northsouth12 · 21/12/2024 21:15

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 21/12/2024 21:14

He was sexually aroused by the man and panicked. By comparing them to yours it makes it okay?

I’m just guessing, btw.

I don’t think so. He was making fun of the man’s chest

OP posts:
BCBird · 21/12/2024 21:16

No.need for him.to say that OP

Balloonhearts · 21/12/2024 21:17

Women's nipples are usually bigger than mens. I'd just take it as him saying he had nipples as big as a woman.

Shortestday · 21/12/2024 21:17

I agree with you OP.
Very strange that he thought it OK to comment on the man's ripples in the first place.
And to then compare them to you is horrible. It's as though he thinks he has some sort of right to talk about your body as though it's his property. And as though you are just a body to him and not a person.

EarthSight · 21/12/2024 21:18

The conversation we had about my nipples was that I felt worried they were on the bigger side but that the midwife had said previously they were perfect for breastfeeding my children

I'm sorry OP as I know this wasn't your intention, but this post was written in a way that made me wonder if this was posted by a man keen to wank to women talking about big nipples. 😂

Your partner was making fun of the man's chest because he thought his nipples were as big as a woman's, and he thought was odd in a man, but obviously not odd or undesirable on a woman, because you are a woman!

Original poster
Northsouth12 · 21/12/2024 21:20

EarthSight · 21/12/2024 21:18

The conversation we had about my nipples was that I felt worried they were on the bigger side but that the midwife had said previously they were perfect for breastfeeding my children

I'm sorry OP as I know this wasn't your intention, but this post was written in a way that made me wonder if this was posted by a man keen to wank to women talking about big nipples. 😂

Your partner was making fun of the man's chest because he thought his nipples were as big as a woman's, and he thought was odd in a man, but obviously not odd or undesirable on a woman, because you are a woman!

Edited

lol sorry, it is a genuine post. And I’m just relaying the one convo me and my partner had my nipples that he referenced in a way to support his comment

the thing is you could barely even see the man’s nipples on the tv as he was so hairy- there was no comparison in my eyes

OP posts:
EarthSight · 21/12/2024 21:21

With this one, if it's an isolated incident, and your partner seems otherwise happy with you and hasn't been making other questionable comments or sly digs, I'd let it go.

MushMonster · 21/12/2024 21:25

Insensitive.
But I would not waste any time on it.

Original poster
Northsouth12 · 21/12/2024 21:38

MushMonster · 21/12/2024 21:25

Insensitive.
But I would not waste any time on it.

Just upset me :(

OP posts:
RedRock41 · 21/12/2024 21:50

Don’t stress over this one. You don’t want him editing what he says. You’ve let him know you didn’t find it funny so let it go.

Iamfeel · 21/12/2024 21:57

Bit of a dick move tbh. Belittling you isn't cool.

Moier · 21/12/2024 21:58

Women's nipples are usually bigger than mens. I'd just take it as him saying he had nipples as big as a woman.

Iamfeel · 21/12/2024 22:03

Moier · 21/12/2024 21:58

Women's nipples are usually bigger than mens. I'd just take it as him saying he had nipples as big as a woman.

Big ol' beefburger nips.

TipsyJoker · 21/12/2024 22:09

It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. What matters is you didn’t like it and felt hurt. Instead of reassuring you and making you feel better, your partner has chosen to be annoyed at you. That’s the real problem here. You’re allowed to have feelings whether he likes it or not. I would be telling him exactly that and informing him that by taking the hump with you, he’s made it worse instead of just saying he’s sorry he hurt your feeling and reassuring you. What a big baby.

Inextremis · 21/12/2024 22:10

I wouldn't be upset by it, because I can't see a problem with having big nipples (I think mine are average?).

OriginalUsername2 · 21/12/2024 22:11

I would be upset, yes. It’s insulting and disrespectful. There’s no excuse, he must have known that was a shit thing to say. It’s the sort of thing a nasty teenage boy would say to put a girl down.

And instead of apologising and feeling bad, he’s put you in the wrong for being upset.

OriginalUsername2 · 21/12/2024 22:13

Inextremis · 21/12/2024 22:10

I wouldn't be upset by it, because I can't see a problem with having big nipples (I think mine are average?).

It’s not the nipples, it’s that he compared her female body to a hairy obese man’s .

ObieJoyful · 21/12/2024 22:15

I’d love big nipples!

LonginesPrime · 21/12/2024 22:16

Balloonhearts · 21/12/2024 21:17

Women's nipples are usually bigger than mens. I'd just take it as him saying he had nipples as big as a woman.

This is how I read it too, especially since the man in question had man boobs.

Opentooffers · 21/12/2024 22:22

Sounded like his comment was more aimed at the man than you. However, given your prior conversation about your insecurity over your nipples (which is an odd one, surely it's a good thing to have them on the large side, mine are smallish, but equally fed a baby despite a prior ex's unsolicited comment on them - some men are pigs) it looks like he took the info he gleaned directly off you, and used it against you. That's not humour, that's belittling, some people are too stupid to know the difference and think they are being funny. He might feel a little bit bigger through it in his mind, now that he's taken you down a peg, because he knows he's lacking. He's not showing a nice trait and it tells you that you'll have to watch what you tell him in future, as he might use it to poke fun at you. Your choice to carry on in a relationship under restrictions, when he's shown you who he is.

Beartotread · 21/12/2024 22:22

Speaking from a male perspective, I think you are a very fortunate girl. Larger nipples are a great turn on. Needless to say that the old wet t shirt photos were to get a an impression of the nipples and boobs without seeing them directly.

Ignore the comments, you are beautiful

AskJateace · 21/12/2024 22:28

I can understand why you would be offended but I'm sure he truly didn't mean any harm. I'm quite sure he was just making a joke that you didn't seem to find funny. All that you seen was an obese man who had huge nipples that was being compared and was told was similar to yours, which offended you. I think maybe he was even trying to put a smile on your face and make you laugh except for, you weren't amused. Don't take it personal, I'm sure he loves your body and your breasts.

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