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Original poster

Would you be hurt if your partner said this to you?

60 replies

Northsouth12 · 21/12/2024 21:09

Watching tv tonight with my partner, been together 1.5 years. On the screen is an obese man lying sleeping, very hairy chest and big ‘man boobs’. My boyfriend said to me “did you see the size of his nipples??” implying they were big. I didn’t notice them so he paused it and said “they’re just like yours”.

i was so hurt by this and didn’t find it funny at all. He says he didn’t mean it to be hurtful and doesn’t really see how it was. He said we’ve spoke before about my nipples so he thought it was ok. The conversation we had about my nipples was that I felt worried they were on the bigger side but that the midwife had said previously they were perfect for breastfeeding my children.

he genuinely doesn’t seem to get how it was a mean or hurtful comment and is now huffing with me because I was hurt by it

how would you feel?

OP posts:
Original poster
Northsouth12 · 21/12/2024 22:30

Beartotread · 21/12/2024 22:22

Speaking from a male perspective, I think you are a very fortunate girl. Larger nipples are a great turn on. Needless to say that the old wet t shirt photos were to get a an impression of the nipples and boobs without seeing them directly.

Ignore the comments, you are beautiful

Gross🤮

OP posts:
TipsyJoker · 21/12/2024 22:33

Beartotread · 21/12/2024 22:22

Speaking from a male perspective, I think you are a very fortunate girl. Larger nipples are a great turn on. Needless to say that the old wet t shirt photos were to get a an impression of the nipples and boobs without seeing them directly.

Ignore the comments, you are beautiful

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
I think it’s a massive turn off when men think they’re entitled to critique women’s bodies.

anonny55 · 21/12/2024 22:34

My nipples are huge so id dread to think what he'd say about mine😂😂mine are 90% of my boob!! My sister says hers are the same and both our partners piss around about our big nips but we laugh it off and don't care..I suppose we both don't care about the size of them though so it doesn't hurt us and they know that. I wouldn't be so happy if I was insecure about them and my DP knew that and commented about it though

Endofyear · 21/12/2024 22:35

It was a pretty insensitive thing to say - I'm guessing he thinks he was being funny? I'd probably tell him he's an unfunny prick. Would he like it if you made jokes about the size of his equipment?

sunflowersngunpowdr · 21/12/2024 22:37

TipsyJoker · 21/12/2024 22:09

It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. What matters is you didn’t like it and felt hurt. Instead of reassuring you and making you feel better, your partner has chosen to be annoyed at you. That’s the real problem here. You’re allowed to have feelings whether he likes it or not. I would be telling him exactly that and informing him that by taking the hump with you, he’s made it worse instead of just saying he’s sorry he hurt your feeling and reassuring you. What a big baby.

Nothing can make the perpetually offended feel better. For Christs sake he just commented that man's nipples were so big they looked like the nipples of a breastfeeding mother.

Original poster
Northsouth12 · 21/12/2024 22:39

sunflowersngunpowdr · 21/12/2024 22:37

Nothing can make the perpetually offended feel better. For Christs sake he just commented that man's nipples were so big they looked like the nipples of a breastfeeding mother.

Show quote history

No he compared an obese hairy man lying sleeping on tvs nipples to mine.
i haven’t breastfed in 8 years and he wasn’t even around for that.

OP posts:
DurinsBane · 21/12/2024 22:48

OriginalUsername2 · 21/12/2024 22:13

It’s not the nipples, it’s that he compared her female body to a hairy obese man’s .

Edited
Show quote history

No he didn’t. He compared a man’s nipples to hers, ie commenting that the man’s nipples were bigger than usual for a man

Iamfeel · 21/12/2024 22:50

Next time there's an advert for pigs in blankets tell him it reminds you of his tiny dick.

Lighteningstrikes · 21/12/2024 22:52

yanbu
it was tactless and said not in context.
some people need to think before they speak!

Maddy70 · 21/12/2024 22:57

Honestly no

Moveoverdarlin · 21/12/2024 23:01

Just inane chit-chat. Women have bigger nipples than men do, so that’s what he meant.

napody · 21/12/2024 23:02

Unsurprisingly this thread has turned into a magnet for creepy blokes and a couple of 'well I have big nipples too' posts which it's hard not to wonder are trying to encourage actual women to join in posting about theirs.

Not you, OP and no YANBU- he was a knob.

Edited as nipples autocorrected to nappies... that's a whole other creepy crowd!

Resilienceisimportant · 21/12/2024 23:02

There are bigger things to be upset about. He was a bit clumsy and insensitive but maybe he thought it was banter.

Hurt and upset? I really think you need to get a bit of perspective. Choose to see it as clumsy and move on rather than wasting time on being upset. Humans say things that aren’t always peaches and cream. Give him a break and choose your battles.

404ErrorCode · 21/12/2024 23:19

It’s totally gross that some men hang around MN to post comments on posts regarding things like this about liking big nipples or something they can sexualise on some way.

Really wish they would get banned.

You are not wrong to be upset, OP. He knew it was an area you felt insecure in, and not sure what he was hoping to achieve by saying what he said.

OriginalUsername2 · 22/12/2024 00:03

DurinsBane · 21/12/2024 22:48

No he didn’t. He compared a man’s nipples to hers, ie commenting that the man’s nipples were bigger than usual for a man

Show quote history

I think he could have said “that man has huge nipples” rather than “they look like yours”.

Maybe it was a slip-up. He’s still a dick for getting annoyed at OP being hurt if that’s the case, he should feel bad!

LonginesPrime · 22/12/2024 00:32

I think he could have said “that man has huge nipples” rather than “they look like yours”.

It sounds like it was supposed to be a joke though (although obviously ill-judged, given OP's previous self-consciousness specifically about her nipple size).

The underlying fact is "that man has huge nipples", so to turn it into a joke, he compared them to someone else who has large nipples, and women generally have larger nipples than men, so he needed to slot in a woman's name, as a decent joke requires specificity to make it funny - he couldn't very well refer to another woman's nipples, so since OP is a woman, he picked her.

OP, I would take it as a sign that despite your being self-conscious about your nipple size, the fact he totally forgot that this is something you're sensitive about means that he thinks your nipples look fine - if he actually thought they were weird, I would imagine he would've avoided the comparison (unless he was deliberately trying start an argument!).

ByHardyAquaFox · 22/12/2024 01:12

well, were they as big or not ? Because it they were then you don't have any reason to be offended.
If they weren't, then it is another story.

ForGreyKoala · 22/12/2024 01:58

Honestly OP, I think you need to grow a thicker skin. I couldn't care less about my partner saying things like that, I would have forgotten about it 2 seconds later.

Honestly, why are there so many delicate flowers on MN?

BraverSoul · 22/12/2024 02:08

I think he was joking that the man had man boobs ie like a woman's... Just like yours! That is my thinking

localnotail · 22/12/2024 03:45

I think he is just being a typical man idiot... I doubt he meant to upset you.

I also think you should never put yourself down like that - what do you mean, "big nipples"? Normal nipples. End of.

Monty27 · 22/12/2024 04:57

You could have retorted "and your dick" except you are probably more respectful than him.
Unhelpful I know. How dare he? Eeeeeeew

Jostuki · 22/12/2024 05:18

The slight is on the man not you!

That's how I would have taken it.

He's inferring that the man has female attributes.

A reverse situation would be a woman on the tv with facial hair and you saying, her moustache is longer than yours!

That kind of stupid thing.

Looks like you want to find something to nit pick at him.

timetoreset · 22/12/2024 07:09

It would have made me laugh, but I suppose that's my sense of humour 🤷‍♀️
With a big 'o thank you for that!!'
I once got compared to looking a bit like Roger Federer and I made the most of that with my mock outrage. But I enjoy that kind of banter in a relationship

SallyWD · 22/12/2024 07:10

I wouldn't mind at all. Women have much bigger nipples than men. I don't see the issue.

TipsyJoker · 22/12/2024 12:59

sunflowersngunpowdr · 21/12/2024 22:37

Nothing can make the perpetually offended feel better. For Christs sake he just commented that man's nipples were so big they looked like the nipples of a breastfeeding mother.

Show quote history

Oh! Pick me pick me! I’m a cool girl. Fuck off. I hope this doesn’t offend you.