Would you be hurt if your partner said this to you?

[Northsouth12]

Watching tv tonight with my partner, been together 1.5 years. On the screen is an obese man lying sleeping, very hairy chest and big ‘man boobs’. My boyfriend said to me “did you see the size of his nipples??” implying they were big. I didn’t notice them so he paused it and said “they’re just like yours”.

i was so hurt by this and didn’t find it funny at all. He says he didn’t mean it to be hurtful and doesn’t really see how it was. He said we’ve spoke before about my nipples so he thought it was ok. The conversation we had about my nipples was that I felt worried they were on the bigger side but that the midwife had said previously they were perfect for breastfeeding my children.

he genuinely doesn’t seem to get how it was a mean or hurtful comment and is now huffing with me because I was hurt by it

how would you feel?

I would feel hurt too, OP.

Is that not called banter?
No I wouldn't be annoyed unless I thought he was being nasty.

There is another Mannish wanky post on here this afternoon too.

Talking about stuff in a way women would not!
😎

I'd have said 'soooooo are you saying you find his nipples sexy or that you don't find mine sexy??? - cos either way I don't think I'm going to like your answer!!!'

That would make me laugh but it’s clearly something your sensitive about so just remind him the jokes aren’t appropriate.

It is a fact women have larger nipples and areolas than men.
In this case, it is insensitive only because you have a thing with the size of your nipples. He should not prode on that. I hope he apologised. But your nipples are perfectly fine. The way they are meant to be. Perfectly good to breasfeed, midwive said so. Time to leave that insecurity behind.

He sounds like a twat.

Oh please. Are people being intentionally obtuse?

Of course people pass comment on pictures they find funny.

And no finding a picture of a hairy man with large nipples funny is not a sign of psychopathy 🙄

Nor is it a sign of an abusive person. Lord help us.

OP. I suspect he merely mean they were unusually large for a man. Most men have teeny tiny nipples. Much shaker than women's nipples.

I very much doubt he was making some dig at your nipples.

For what it's worth I really don't think most men care what size nipples or labia or any other part of the female anatomy is. They are just happy to see and play with them

@Northsouth12

Your feelings are legitimate and the fact that you felt hurt and your partner got annoyed at you is bullshit. Even if he didn’t mean it in a nasty way, a good partner would have said, “oh I’m sorry I didn’t mean it that way” and comforted you. He didn’t do that. You’ve every right to feel the way you feel. Even if it was a misunderstanding, the initial comment made you feel bad and your feelings are valid. Don’t listen to all these men on here who are making it a you problem. MN seems to be full of these twats who have infiltrated a space meant to be for women. As usual, they like to tell women how they should feel when they should shut the fuck up and get the fuck off MN. Creeps. Your man was insensitive, his comments upset you. Your feelings are valid. He should have apologised and reassured you. He turned it round on you which is a real issue. It makes me wonder if you are always having your feelings minimised and dismissed by him? If so, you might want to consider why you’re staying in a relationship where you’re not allowed to express your feelings openly without being emotionally punished for it. That’s not a healthy relationship and you deserve better.

I dont think its a big thing, i wouldnt be upset by it, just a man trying to make a joke and as usual, they are quite rubbish 😂 my nipples are huge since having my son and im proud of them, but i get that you might be slightly insecure about them x