Trust my DP completely but getting highly irritated by the tart he's chatting to on facebook.....

[tempnamechange]

DP was 'facebooked' by a girl he was at high school with, they went on a couple of 'dates' when they were about 13 (this is over 20 years ago).

DP has told me a few things that she's messaged him about -

she's split up with her boyfriend
she has a couple of other 'options' on the go
she has a tattoo in a private place
she's coming back to our city for a night out and would he like to meet up
if she gets drunk enough she will show him where the tattoo is

!!!

He has made it very clear that he is in a happy relationship (of nearly 10 years!) and I trust him completely when he says he would never cheat on me BUT he is being his usual oblivious self and thinks she's just being friendly and it's nice to be back in touch and chat about stuff, etc, etc, but my slaaaaaag radar is going off like mad.

He showed me one message he had sent (re the tattoo) saying that he didn't think discussing her private tattoo was appropriate because he had a girlfriend, she replied that she didn't see what was wrong with it, but didn't want to get him into trouble (trouble???? what am I, his mother???)

I don't want to start demanding that he cut contact, because I'm not the type to bark orders at my man, but she's starting to really irritate me.

Last night he was laughing at the computer and when I asked what at he showed me a message she'd sent him that was the lyrics to a song, with bits like 'i'm single and carefree, you've had death by marriage', 'let me know if you're happy and I'll walk away', etc.

He rarely sees underlying things unless you point them out to him very specifically, and just thinks she's being friendly.

Am I right to just do nothing about this? I feel like sending her a message with reference to man-stealing, dignity and sluttiness but have so far restrained myself!

get him to change his profile picture to one you have photoshopped to make him look v fat and bald, with a dodgy goatee

Well, it's probably rather flattering for him, even if he is completely uninterested.

Can you explain to him that this is really upsetting you, and ask him how he thinks he could make you feel better about, or, how he'd feel if the tables were turned?

LOL, how do you know he doesn't look like that already?

Or, get him to change his facebook photo to one of you both?

She's telling him about tattoos on her fanj? She sounds like desperate woman.

Ahem...

"Hello b!tch. This is (Y's) missus. If you don't want me to come over there and sand balst your dirty, tacky little tattoo off go away, obtain a life (or ask an adult to help you get one) and leave (Y)truly the f*ck alone.
Kind regards
Tempnamechange

lol Cappy

God she sounds revolting. I think you're right in maintaining a dignifies silence though.

Although you could update his status to "MrTempNameChange is spent from a night porking his goddess wife" or something equally subtle.

It's not so much upsetting me VVV, as just irritating.

He knows I'm annoyed, and I have spelt it out to him that she's coming on to him, but as he says he would never cheat he thinks there's no harm in them chatting.

I can't help thinking that him just being nicey nice is in a way leading her on. I know he wouldn't do anything but it annoys me that he might get in a compromising situation though his dopeyness.

I should just ignore it all but it seems to have stirred some territorial instinct in me.....

LOL Iklboo & AdamAnt

God I'm glad you haven't all come on here calling me a paranoid bunny-boiler type

So I'm right to maintain a dignified silence?

Set up a fake facebook from a hunky stud-muffin to you and see how quickly your bloke's sense of humour will fade

If she comes to visit, go with him.
Why should he go on his own?

maintian the dignified silence but go with him if she does come to town.. Not to keep an eye on your DH, but to let your presence be felt by her.

I think if he ever got to meeting up with her it would definitely be a night when he and I were out already, and we could arrange to meet her for a quick drink.

While we snog a lot in front of her

It's just so slutty, don't you think, to be flirting with a guy who obviously isn't interested and is too inept nice to tell you straight.

I agree, you should go too. OR you should invite her to come to yours for dinner etc.

OR you could just tell her to fark off. It does work you know, I've done it.

I did think perhaps a quick 'Look love, have a bit of dignity' might do the trick

I do like the status change idea.....

Could you send him some public messages which show how much of a unit you are? Or some Graffitti?

remind your dh that this is not how decent people behave and if she wants to be friends with him she should respect his partner otherwise its not an above board friendship. we all know women with low self esteem want to compete with other women to flirt with their partners. My dh has just had some ex fling email him with a picture of her in her nurses uniform. she hasn't been in contact since they last saw each other over three years ago, now she just heard he has got married and had a baby, and now she misses his company Get a life!
Put a note on facebook to say that adults who get in touch with their ex's to flirt with must lead very sad and barren lives

I had a bloke do this to me - i thought it was harmless but it did get a bit near the mark - i never hid any of it from h however and he did know i got a bit of a boost from it. But this bloke then asked to meet (which i would have thought harmless) - but then he went on to say - bet your h wont like that - it was getting too much so i stopped emailing.

It does make you feel great but unless the boundaries are well and truely spelled out it can get a bit intense.

e-mail and ask her to join you for a 'cocktail, when you get back from your modelling assignment in milan'

trust me, she will run for the hills!!!!

(bloody desperate slapper that she is)

two weeks after our dd was born, an ex of dh's sent him a text encouraging him to "ditch the nappies for a night" to go out for a drink with her

I would answer one of her messages to him and give the impression that you both chat with people using his Facebook page.

facebook is for teens, tattoos are completely out of fashion, everyone these days with a tattoo is having laser treatment to remove them and only cliched desparados get in tough with old flames when they split up with their partners. How come she is coming back to your city for a night out and hasn't got anyone to go out with? tell her she is crap. "Shoo fly, stop bothering me!"