Scared of my STBXH tonight

[bitscaredtonight]

A handhold would be very much appreciated tonight if anyone is available.
Unfortunately we're still living together until the house sells. He's been drinking and is quite angry.
He wants to cut off his wedding ring and was looking for tools to do this - I suggested getting a jeweller tomorrow but this made him angry. I think I was supposed to ask him not to take it off, but I was quite pleased as I thought it meant that he is getting his head round the idea of divorce a bit. It is me that wants to split up. He doesn't want to, even though he gives every impression that he doesn't like me.
He has been violent in the past, although quite a long time ago. But the fear has never left and I'm scared to go to sleep tonight.

If he's that loud perhaps a neighbour may phone the police if that happens engage with them.

Please follow you gut instinct even if it means paying for a room in a cheap out of town hotel or gate crashing a relatives house

He’s doing that on purpose too. Reminds me of my dad. My mum eventually left the house with nothing and stayed in a b&b before finding somewhere to live. The b&b was bliss apparently. Can you sort temporary accommodation for your cats and get the hell out of there?

Have you got any friends and family who could take your cats in? He is losing control as he knows you will be leaving soon.

It's a long shot but I might ask the estate agent if I can rent the house I'm moving to until I've officially bought it. It's empty at the moment.

Fingers crossed that's a goer.

It's worth a try isn't it?
I could move just after Christmas.

It’s worth a try, if you can move in earlier don’t let him know until you’ve moved out x

Last night was awful - far worse than the night before drunken shouting while gaming from 1-4am

I just packed some stuff in the car, put in my cats and drove to the pet shop and bought a big crate. I then booked myself on the ferry and have just arrived at the terminal (it's a looooong way from my house).

Thank you all for your support - you really helped me realise that I just couldn't live in fear for a single day more

This sounds really exciting! I’m so sorry that you had to take such a step, but how awesome to be moving so far away- a real change!?

You poor thing, I'm so relieved to see you've left.

Good luck Op - keep posting xx

Well done. What a relief! Do keep us updated.

I am so relieved! Huge congratulations on that. Did you wait until he'd gone to work? It must've been terrifying.

I packed while he was still asleep. I went to my yoga class, talked to my teacher, and knew I just had to go.
I went back home - thank fuck he was still in drunken sleep - tiptoed round, grabbed random stuff and my cats and left.
I'm on the ferry back to my family.

I've left everything behind but my fantastic family are going to organise it. One of my many lovely BILs will hopefully be able to help.

The ferry company have been fantastic - I had to ask a question at guest services and was obviously not with it at all and they have let me into the fancy lounge for free!

The lounge I was booked into was all men apart from me with a locked door - I didn't feel comfortable at all.

The fancy lounge is much more open and feels much safer, but is full of snoring men 🤦🏻‍♀️

Big stuff OP. It’s a big thing stepping into the wide world.
I’m sure the staff will keep an eye on you. I’m glad you are safe

Well done you!! You clearly got to that point where you had all your strength to dip in to. Must feel so good... Exhilarating!

I've been at that point and the beautiful feeling of taking back all the control still hasn't worn off. And neither has the excitement (nearly 5 years) of single life and freedom.

New year, new life, eh? 💐🍾

Hope you're okay OP. You'll soon be back with your family.

I'm so sorry you had to go through that with your stbexh. Another billy bigbaws, abusive to his wife and a general menace to society. There should be a special place in hell for these men.