Scared of my STBXH tonight

[bitscaredtonight]

A handhold would be very much appreciated tonight if anyone is available.
Unfortunately we're still living together until the house sells. He's been drinking and is quite angry.
He wants to cut off his wedding ring and was looking for tools to do this - I suggested getting a jeweller tomorrow but this made him angry. I think I was supposed to ask him not to take it off, but I was quite pleased as I thought it meant that he is getting his head round the idea of divorce a bit. It is me that wants to split up. He doesn't want to, even though he gives every impression that he doesn't like me.
He has been violent in the past, although quite a long time ago. But the fear has never left and I'm scared to go to sleep tonight.

Thank you everyone for your answers and concern I feel much less lonely

I could do that if necessary - don't know why I didn't think of it 🤦🏻‍♀️

I'm on high alert constantly at the moment just can't wait to move into my own place

I feel so so bad for you and wish I was able to keep you company xx

If he does up the behaviour please call the police if you’re in any doubt.
Also he wouldn’t be allowed to return possibly so you could sleep safe

You don’t deserve this xx

Could you speak to the police non-emergency line and explain your situation and that you're worried it could become a risk to your safety? It could be good to have them aware.

Are you ok OP?

How long more for the sale to go through?

Can you say you've been invited to spend Xmas with a friend (girlfriend) or family and leave until the New Year? Just book an air bnb for a couple of weeks so you can sleep in peace (and bring your cats).

I hope you are taking the cats with you when you move.

Can you get your daughter to phone you with a fake emergency so that you have to go round?

Yes I am - I could potentially move earlier but I would have to go without them. He wouldn't look after them properly. He cuddles them but I do everything else.

Pls just go to an air bnb until your new home (where you can take pets) is available. Or move sooner and put your cats into a cattery for a couple of weeks.

This man is going into your ensuite and your bedroom for no other reason than to show you that he can do whatever he likes. He is trying to start an argument.

You should not be afraid to close your eyes. Nobody should.....

How are you this morning OP? Hope you're safe.

I'm ok thanks

He was very grumpy this morning but went to work

He's not home yet so must be out drinking - another night of worrying

Are you in the UK? I don't know what area you're in but this link might be helpful if you have to move out and need someone to look after the cats temporarily. They say they currently cover some areas of the UK and that if you're outside one of these areas they can chat through your options with you.
https://www.cats.org.uk/what-we-do/cp-lifeline/accessing-lifeline

Thanks I'll have a look

Can you arrange a code with a friend or family member so that if you message them saying a particular thing they can message or call back saying, I'm so glad you are up, I really need help getting to the hospital or something similar?

You could really do with a peaceful nights sleep… god I feel for you so bad, especially knowing you just want to keep your head down to not aggravate him even more. You can’t keep doing this until your house sells, it’ll be months ! Could you afford some temporary accommodation if he won’t move ? I know it’s really tough and bad time of year but you need to be safe and you deserve peace !

I have somewhere to move to, just waiting on solicitors to do their stuff with house sale and purchase.

He started gaming when he got back from the pub and is shouting at his computer and woke me up.

U ok

I feel for you . I have been through a similar scenario. I slept with a piece of wood under my pillow in case he came in. My teenage son was scared of him when he was drinking so locked his door but his dad smashed through it and attacked him . It only stopped because I intervened. The police advised me to move my son out which I did the next day though we had to climb over the gate with his things and sneak out . I stayed until I could get my stuff out but by bit but every night I was concerned. Get out as soon as you can . The relief when we moved was unbelievable and we are so much happier now .

I can't sleep because he's gaming so loudly. I really need to get out of here asap.
Too scared to do anything to wind him up tonight but can't keep living like this.