Should I tell my boyfriend this?

[Beltripped]

Boyfriend of 1 years. He absolutely hates my previous ex boyfriend- partly because he knows he was horrible to me and mostly because my previous ex still has feelings for me.
previous ex knows i have a new boyfriend. I am have no interest in previous ex, he lives near me though and I have bumped into him in the shops. The last time was a few weeks ago where he basically stood in Sainsbury’s asking me for another chance. That’s when I told him I wasn’t interested and was in a relationship. Current boyfriend hates that previous boyfriend talks to me when he sees me and he feels like he’s just waiting for a chance again.
previous boyfriend added me today on instagram. I deleted it straight away. I feel a bit bad keeping it from my boyfriend but I know it’ll out him in a terrible mood and he will go on and on about him and how he won’t let me go.
do I need to tell him about the friend request?

How does the new bf know the old bf has feelings for you ?

Because my ex boyfriend has messaged me (now blocked) and told me in person too

And I told my new boyfriend because it’s happened while we’ve been in a relationship

In a secure, mature, relationship the woman should be able to say to her boyfriend, 'I saw my ex today, he then sent me a friend request on insta which I deleted. I have no interest in him and have told him so'. BF should respond with something like 'that must have been tough seeing him again, are you okay? Do you need a hug?'.

You see the focus is on you and how you feel. Not him ranting and raving because he's feeling insecure or annoyed or his male ego is being challenged 🙄 Your bf sounds like hard work verging on controlling. I'd get rid.

Absolutely this. I might expect a bit of an eye roll and a muttered ‘twat’ re the ex but not ranting and going on about.

No you don't NEED to tell him but on the other hand you should be able to tell him if your ex is bothering you and approaching you in the shops etc.
I have doubts about current BF tbh, you might be better off single for a while

Yeah. I guess it did start as that but because it’s been a few times now he is pissed that my ex won’t take the hint. I am too to be fair but what else can I do? And new boyfriend said next time he contacts/speaks to me then he will message him himself. I don’t want him to do that nor do I need someone to do that for me

OP, some of the posters are not replying as politely as they might/ought, but there is a massive red flag waving at you regarding your current boyfriend. Hating your ex to the extent he’ll be in a massive mood if he finds out he tried to contact you on social media is NOT normal behaviour. In fact, it’s a commonly recognised early warning sign of someone who goes on to coercively control his partner. He’s already, without you realising it, controlling what you say and do regarding your ex, so as not to annoy him. Manipulation through moods is a common tactic of abusive men.

Why would you tell your new boyfriend though, what's the point ?

Are you enjoying the attention of having two men fighting over you.

What’s the point in having open communication in a new relationship and being honest with a new boyfriend?

What a bitchy comment.
would you not tell your partner if a long term ex got back in touch professing their feelings? That’s not attention seeking at all to tell a boyfriend of 6 months that.

No I wouldn't.

I'd just ignore the old one and get on with the new relationship.

So you like hiding things and keeping secrets then from your partner?
do you enjoy keeping things from your partner and not being completely honest?

You’re defending both guys here and it’s scrambling your head. Just be yourself, you’re not doing anything wrong and life is bumpy sometimes - you need your current partner to be understanding.

its not that I’m defending them. I do not care an ounce about my ex, him adding me on insta has no effect on me whatsoever, in fact I feel sorry for him if anything that he can’t move on
to be fair I wouldn’t like my boyfriends ex to keep getting in touch trying to win him back either

Does your current partner understand that ? He might not like that he is adding you on social media, (it is weird) but you can’t help it.
Hopefully he stops, have you got a friend who can have a word with him just to affirm you really aren’t interested ? Can’t believe he’s adding you while you’re in a new relationship! That’s strange behaviour.

Yes he does but this ex keeps cropping up so it is getting annoying. We also have different views on how to deal with it. For example last time it happened I wanted to reply and clearly say I wasn’t interested and I have a boyfriend before I blocked whereas my boyfriend said he didn’t understand why I would even give him the courtesy of a message. I did then bump into him in the shop so I told him face to face and also said to stop messaging me
so the add on social media will just be the next thing in a series of things

And new boyfriend said next time he contacts/speaks to me then he will message him himself. I don’t want him to do that nor do I need someone to do that for me.

@Beltripped Can you see that your current boyfriend is being quite controlling here? It’s not his business to get in touch with your ex, telling him to back off as though he owns you or something. Do you not find this quite concerning behaviour?

You don't have much luck with men.

Ex boyfriend won't give up and current one is a jealous and insecure little twerp.

I'm sure you can do better than both of these bottom feeders.

No you don’t need to tell him. Stop being a drama llama.

You all sound young or incredibly juvenile

We’re all only between 14-17

But you're not doing that now are you? Your new bf has made it impossible for you to have this sort of communication and honesty.

Previous poster asked me why I bothered telling my boyfriend in the first place. Because I try to be as open and honest as I can in relationships and I have nothing to hide

Between 14-17 ? Oh my goodness… will leave this here !