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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I NEED MARITAL ADVICE PLEASE

103 replies

vecie · 08/12/2024 06:04

I really need advice regarding my spouse, as we’ve been having constant and unresolved conflicts. I’ve tried my best to address these issues by talking to her, but nothing seems to work. I’ve suggested everything from counseling to involving family members, but she refuses.
She gets angry with me over the smallest things, and it feels like no matter what I do, it’s never right. What hurts the most is that she has started accusing me of things I would never do—things she knows deep down are not true. Whenever we have even the slightest disagreement over the phone, she hangs up on me. Most of the time, she won’t answer my calls or call me back. Even when I bring up this behavior, she flares up and denies any missed calls, despite the missed calls being clearly logged on her phone.
She always say she is busy when I call, even when she picks, there will be so much noise, cracking of utensils, and all those sorts. Each time I will tell her to call me anytime of the day that she is free, she usually says there is never a time that she is free, if I am not able to talk , I should hang up. If I call at night, she does not pick and never return my calla, if I call during she is always in hurry to drop the either, she wants to get some sleep , or there is always something that she needs to attend to.
I’ve reached out to her mom and uncle—who are the only family members that have access to her —but nothing has improved. This has been going on for years, and instead of getting better, it’s only becoming worse. I feel completely drained and unsure of what to do.
Any advice or guidance would be greatly appreciated.
Last week, I tried to have a talk with her and try to let her see how the marital disharmony is impacting negatively on everyone of us, including the kids. When I finished speaking, she simply did not utter a word. I waited and waited, and I tried to encourage her to say something. She later said if I had finished what I was saying, that she had other things to do and that she had a headache. And that was all

OP posts:
villagecrafts · 05/01/2025 10:39

vecie · 05/01/2025 06:43

Good morning every one

Good morning, @vecie . Is it snowing where you are?

AttilaTheMeerkat · 05/01/2025 10:48

Men can be abused too.

You are in an abusive relationship with your wife here being the abuser. It's got nothing whatsoever to do with cultural differences and abusers live in all classes and creeds. Look at her relations or lack of with her own family, friends etc; these are all red flags.

Cut your losses now and seek a divorce. Get legal advice and have your children with you as much as possible going forward.

WomenInConstruction · 05/01/2025 11:31

Well said @AttilaTheMeerkat

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