Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband makes me say sorry all the time

54 replies

Eyeofthetiger30 · 27/11/2024 17:52

My husband makes me say sorry all the time. It feels like every time something comes out of my mouth, he says 'say sorry'. I am so fed up of being treated / told off like a naughty child. He rarely takes any responsibility for his actions when we argue and says that I am the cause of all our arguments. In arguments, when I say something like 'please stop saying that, you're bullying me' he says 'you're the bully, you just called me a bully'. I'm struggling to articulate how his behaviour makes me feel, but in arguments his behaviour feels pretty toxic. Any advice appreciated!

OP posts:
BarkLife · 27/11/2024 17:54

My advice: LTB, he's a horrible, abusive arsehole. Your life will be infinitely better without him in it.

AlteredStater · 27/11/2024 17:55

You'll never win with this type of situation - no matter what you say or do, he will keep coming back at you that it's all your fault. Whatever you do, don't start believing him, it's NOT your fault, and there's no need to apologise or anything else.

How long have you been together?

TheDandyLion · 27/11/2024 17:56

Tell him no you're not sorry.

pointythings · 27/11/2024 17:59

Here's my advice: divorce him.

DaringLion · 27/11/2024 17:59

What if you don’t say it will he threaten the naughty step..No but seriously what would he do if you told him to piss off because this behaviour is weird and not normal

hepsitemiz · 27/11/2024 18:00

Does your husband have a particularly low IQ?

BeADinosaur · 27/11/2024 18:01

What happens if you refuse to say sorry? If you say 'Actually, I have nothing to apologise for, you're the one being a dick, not me'

vodkaredbullgirl · 27/11/2024 18:04

LTB, and don't be sorry about it.

ErrolTheDragon · 27/11/2024 18:04

Why are you with him? Marriage should be a partnership of equals who respect and love each other.

you're the bully, you just called me a bully

At best that sounds like a petulant six year old.

DowntonCrabby · 27/11/2024 18:06

FPNI- Leave, you are worth more Flowers

BellaCiaoBellaCiao · 27/11/2024 18:06

Tell him to FUCK OFF

TwistedWonder · 27/11/2024 18:09

Sorry OP but your DH is a controlling bullying cunt - get out asap

Snowxmas · 27/11/2024 18:10

BellaCiaoBellaCiao · 27/11/2024 18:06

Tell him to FUCK OFF

This

aesoplover · 27/11/2024 18:10

Sounds like a very nasty controlling man.

What happens if you say "no, I'm not saying sorry"?

RanchRat · 27/11/2024 18:12

Sorry, he is a piece of shit. LTB

Amazonmulu · 27/11/2024 18:26

Oh OP he sounds very abusive. He's trying to erode you.

This isn't a little thing. You really need to leave him. I bet there are other things he does / says. In your gut you know he's a wrong un.

Jimmymidoff · 27/11/2024 18:26

Abusive wanker.

Wiglio · 27/11/2024 18:28

OP you have some great advice on this thread

PinkPoospe · 27/11/2024 18:30

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

coldcallerbaiter · 27/11/2024 18:31

Get a mug saying I’m not sorry and drink from it all the time

coldcallerbaiter · 27/11/2024 18:31

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

And hang them on the Christmas tree

Devilsmommy · 27/11/2024 18:33

TwistedWonder · 27/11/2024 18:09

Sorry OP but your DH is a controlling bullying cunt - get out asap

This

hepsitemiz · 27/11/2024 18:34

I’m serious about the IQ, though. Does he struggle to hold his own in conversation? Did he leave education quite young? He might know he’s dense, and this awful behavior is his armour.

SemperIdem · 27/11/2024 18:34

An ex of mine was like this. It’s not the only reason he is an ex, but it is on the list, alongside other even less pleasant traits.

I wish his new partner the best because his inferiority complex and associated arsehole behaviours are a lot to put up with.

morningwalkies · 27/11/2024 18:35

LTB, that is no way to live!! He sounds like a spoilt teen