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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband makes me say sorry all the time

54 replies

Eyeofthetiger30 · 27/11/2024 17:52

My husband makes me say sorry all the time. It feels like every time something comes out of my mouth, he says 'say sorry'. I am so fed up of being treated / told off like a naughty child. He rarely takes any responsibility for his actions when we argue and says that I am the cause of all our arguments. In arguments, when I say something like 'please stop saying that, you're bullying me' he says 'you're the bully, you just called me a bully'. I'm struggling to articulate how his behaviour makes me feel, but in arguments his behaviour feels pretty toxic. Any advice appreciated!

OP posts:
Starlightstarbright4 · 27/11/2024 21:04

read up on gaslighting

EmeraldDreams73 · 15/02/2025 16:25

Read Lundy Bancroft's Why Does He Do That?

Then work hard on realising that this behaviour is abusive. Don't waste too much headspace on why. And no, you can't change him, and no, it's not your fault.

BobbyBiscuits · 15/02/2025 16:51

Tell him you will not say things you don't mean, and neither should he. To be honest he sounds immature in the extreme.
'Sorry that I married you, you don't accept anything I say and treat me with extreme disrespect. And will not accept responsibility for the way you make me feel. Sorry.'

NoEscapingMe · 16/02/2025 01:57

Just leave the div. I've honestly had it with abusive fucktard men. Get angry. Look into stoicism there's loads of vids on YouTube
Choose you. Don't waste time on a loser. God help the next man that I meet 😂. But seriously, stoicism and self love and you will find your answer

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