Drunken Christmas Party

[ManchesterRob]

I've been married 20 years, have lovely kids and never ever cheated on my wife. I love the bones of her. Last night I went on a works Christmas party. We all got very drunk and did the normal dancing, hugging and had a great time. Whilst dancing a girl said how she really liked me and pecked me on the lips. It was in no way reciprocated and nothing happened. She was drunk and probably can't even remember today. I feel so guilty. Do I tell my wife bearing in mind I have to go in the office and work with her? I don't even fancy her.

Is it normal for work colleagues to hug each other at a Christmas party?
The boundaries in your office must be pretty lax if it is.

Yes, you tell your wife. Why wouldn’t you? My late husband was a SAHP and a handyman. I can’t tell you the number of times women made passes at him. We chatted about it. I trusted him (I was going to say 100 per cent, but no, that would have been naive. )

Tell her what happened and how it made you feel. Then tell her how glad you are that you came home to her.

Don’t tell your wife what happened, just move on and forget about it. I agree with PP, hugging colleagues at a Christmas party is a bit much.

Stop worrying about and laugh it off, saying nothing, no good will come from telling your wife,

My goodness I wouldn’t want to know this. I’d just then worry about you going to work with her. Put it to the back of your mind as irrelevant.. If anything like this happens again with this woman then you need to be very firm and say that you’re married, it makes you uncomfortable and take it to management if she continues.

If it is really nothing, that is you think this woman won't remember and its not going to cause any problems at work, then I don't see the point in telling your wife.

Seriously?

Some people who see one another daily hugged after a party. They didn’t hump on top of the boardroom table and charge others to watch.

I honestly wonder how some people go outside.

I would laugh it off and move on and not tell your wife.

I'm. Suprised on here most people are saying don't tell her, it's the kind of thing where if others saw It happen and it was mentioned at a later date and the op hadn't told his wife, it could look like he was guilty of something. If it was me I'd mention it in a kind of cringe omg guess what happened kind of way

It was a peck not a snog move on.

I don't understand your point.
OP says all the colleagues were hugging each other and that this was " normal" behaviour at their office party.
That was what I was questioning.

No don’t tell her. You didn’t reciprocate and it was a brief peck not a full on kiss.

I would forget about it and never speak of it again .

I’m not the person you are replying to but hugging at the end of a Christmas do has been the norm at every one I’ve ever been to.
I’m a teacher though so might be different in an office.

OP doesn't say the hugging was at the end of the party. The way he describes it there was dancing and hugging throughout the party. It certainly sounds like blurred boundaries to me.

But it IS normal.

Well, yes because it’s a party. If you went out with friends you would dance and hug - a lot of people are friends as well as colleagues. I assume it is this situation.

It was towards the end of the night when we'd had drinks and the lads and girls were all dancing together.

Mentioning it is giving it significance and runs the risk of sewing a seed of doubt in his wife’s mind that could eat away at her over time and make her nervous about him working with this woman. Something this insignificant doesn’t deserve the oxygen. Forget about it OP.

If you usually have a very open and honest marriage then I'd tell her.

I'd want my DH to tell me if it was him...otherwise if it ever came out I'd be even more suspicious and wonder why he didn't tell me!

Just tell her casually and laugh it off, it's a non issue and harmless but honesty the best policy!

Can't see anything wrong with a few hugs, and I'm not even a tactile person.

A peck on the lips from a drunken woman is nothing much really but you could mention it to your wife when you update her on the evening if you feel bad about it.

Nope, not been weird in any office I've worked. My closest friends have been or are work colleagues.

It might be normal in your experience.
Not normal in mine.
Of course I've seen people over step acceptable behaviour at work parties but their behaviour is noticed and not the norm.
Colleagues getting physical with each other en masse as the OP describes and apparently what you find normal isn't part of my work experience.

Who in their right mind has a Christmas party in the middle of November? (missing point entirely).

Say it in a way that expresses that you cannot believe that she had the audacity to kiss you and make advances, and express that you are going to have to have a word with hr about boundaries before attending another work party. Unless there's a back story, and as long as you are telling the truth then it will be fine to be honest

I would absolutely want to know and would expect my DH to tell me, but in the way of, "OK, how do you think I should deal with this one?! Help.".