Drunken Christmas Party

[ManchesterRob]

I've been married 20 years, have lovely kids and never ever cheated on my wife. I love the bones of her. Last night I went on a works Christmas party. We all got very drunk and did the normal dancing, hugging and had a great time. Whilst dancing a girl said how she really liked me and pecked me on the lips. It was in no way reciprocated and nothing happened. She was drunk and probably can't even remember today. I feel so guilty. Do I tell my wife bearing in mind I have to go in the office and work with her? I don't even fancy her.

That's a fair point tbf.

Nobody ever dances at your work parties? Sounds incredibly dull. Even if you don't, you genuinely mean nobody does, or if they do, you and your colleagues all sit around po faced tutting?

What do you do?

I work in retail and our Christmas parties are always in November as December is our busiest month of the year at work. My ex worked in a hotel and his Christmas party was always in January for the same reason.

The " lads and girls"?
So we are talking about very young work work colleagues?
Was this just a teenager who kissed you then? I assume you must be older if you've been married 20 years.

By the way, hugging is not really a normal thing between the men in my observation, even after a lot of drink it was mostly hand shakes whereas the women hug each other, and whilst there was a couple who kiss, it's the French way, they are French! It's chaste

Well the majority seem to disagree with you. Obviously not everyone will have the same experience, but to airily declare a “lack of boundaries” as if this is a fact suggests a limited understanding of this.

The girl is probs feeling totally embarrassed today. Nothing happened. Forget it. Move on

🙄🙄🙄

I'm referring to lads and girls mid twenties. The girl was in her early 30s. I'm late 40s.

In cardigans buttoned to the neck.

Actually works parties I've to been to have been drinking and talking and not dancing.
But I still don't see why dancing involves hugging.

@Wishicouldnotcare You’d have passed out with shock at some of our Central Government parties in the 80s

Suddenly very glad for my dancing/hugging work places 😆

Omg give over with the comments on hugging. It's boring and distracts from the real issue.
I would either

1. tell your wife in the way advised upthread i.e. you are annoyed and affronted at her cheek.
2. never mention it again.

I'd be raging if a male colleague kissed me on the lips and would of instantly told him never to do it again as its inappropriate and I don't appreciate it. Then I'd of told my husband what happened and there would of been no risk of anyone who had seen it getting their wires crossed and it getting back to him as something it wasn't.

In your situation now, it's awkward. If you don't tell her and she finds out somehow, it could look bad on your part and if you do tell her she could end up feeling insecure about you going to work and you run the risk of making it sound worse than it maybe was. As the colleague maybe meant as a friend, difficult one but she's put you in this position by being inappropriate.

I would tell her if you have a trusting, solid relationship with your wife. Something like Xx got drunk and tried to kiss me, it is going to be very awkward on Monday kind of vibe.

I have had this happen a few times, and always old my dh. It’s far better to be completely honest and transparent. I felt oddly uncomfortable not telling him.

You’re married and allowed a female to get close enough for long enough to kiss you and tell you she likes you. you call it a peck or not why was she so close to you?

Did you make sure she knew she had absolutely the wrong idea and overstepped the mark……??

Dancing with someone not your spouse shouldn’t result in their face being close enough to kiss you and them to then to be able to tell you about how they liked you.

These are the things I’d consider if my spouse told me. So reflect on this if telling her is the decision you make.

You’re building this into something it doesn’t need to be.
You tell your wife everyone was being stupid dancing and acting like drunk fools, a girl kissed you and you didn’t reciprocate, and you imagine she’ll be mortified on Monday - if she remembers.
If you hide it, it becomes something it isn’t.
Your guilt is just you feeling you shouldn’t have put yourself in that position which is somewhat true. But mostly this isn’t on you at all.

You must not go to parties much. Music blaring, people shouting , people slurring their words so it's hard to hear/understand.

I'm female, last Xmas party a female colleague pecked me on the lips (without any declarations) . I also had a male superior basically all over me (so I could hear) telling me how much he respects me and how impressed he is with me bla bla bla. Total twat.

There's a lot of getting absolutely shitfaced and making a complete idiot of yourself at our parties.

Shit happens. I tell OH and we laugh about it.

At least now you understand how she feels.🙄😂
Cringe...

@ManchesterRob im intrigued by this bit “I don’t even fancy her”
what would have happened if you did?

I wouldn't expect him to go into details like that. He'd tell me the party got a bit wild at the end, and I trust him not to have done anything inappropriate.

My senses tell me that there is slightly more to this op. Why was this woman close enough to you to be kissing you in the first place?

What you to go one at my works Christmas parties! A peck is the very least of it!
I wouldn't bother telling your wife. If I was her I'd wonder why you felt the need to tell me if it really went down the way you suggest. Maybe next time leave off any body contact!

Quite. No one feels this bad for a simple innocent peck.