(DON'T) LTB

[QuitChewingMyPlectrum]

Petty thread

What does your partner do that gives you that couple of seconds rage 😡

It can be over in seconds and doesn't mean you have to LTB but in those 2 seconds you would happily trade them in 😂

Splashes water on the floor when he washes up.

Refuses to accept the dishwasher has been on if there's even as much as half an inch of space in there. Carries on adding dirty forks etc that he's just used to feed the cat. Thereby contaminating the CLEARLY CLEAN SPARKLY THINGS. Then tells me it's no big deal, while I consider stabbing him to death slowly with a wooden spoon.

His shit jokes really turn me off 😂

Same, but add destroying the toilet into the mix

He appears. If I even get the thought of needing the kitchen sink he's already in front of it. Walking through a doorway and he's standing in it. In front of drawers I need to get into. Turn around and hes right 'there'.

Like how do they know... Telepathy!!!

Hold on @QuitChewingMyPlectrum surely you must have an idea of your list as well from him!

mine for him would defintely be the socks (his feet get hot) like yours, leaving his slippers places, stopping listening to me do he thinks he knows the plan/outcome of the conversation but he doesnt/can only do one thing and carry one thing at a time

his for me would be never finishes her tea, he washes up all the time so would say I leave the dishes too far away from the sink and I ask him to do too many things at once and carry multiple things

This sounds like cats. Does he also sit on a book you are reading and get between you and any screen you are using?

Just as an aside, there was a brilliant thread about this ages ago. It was about how men abdicate responsibility for taking part in family life. So, going to the toilet just before going out, leaving the partner to do all the drudge of getting the dc ready, having an engrossing hobby that needs lots of equipment, involves getting very dirty and takes most of the weekend. There was more that can't remember. I’ve never been able to find the thread again but it was really thought provoking, so if anybody happens to have a link....

Sorry, as you were.

I understand the purpose of this thread is to lightheartedly vent, but nevertheless it will be so depressing for women in actual abusive relationships - and there are so many. I read a thread a few days ago where a woman was asking advice for a friend who was living an idyllic life with husband and 4 kids until he left her for another woman. Now she’s a wrecked, heartbroken,alienating and bitter woman who is rude and hurtful to the close friends who are trying to help her and jealous of anyone in relationships similar to her own.

I guess the message is be grateful for what you have bc you never know if/ when the rugs going to get pulled and the ridiculously minor irritants are then missed and not so minor in the grand scale of things. First world problems indeed.

I’m sure many of us posting have been in abusive relationships, to lightheartedly complain about silly things your partner does does not in any way detract from the awfulness of domestic abuse.

This is a first world problem thread, it’s intended to be lighthearted and a bit of fun.

Performative sneezing. Not one sneeze though. A minimum of 4. Every single time. Sometimes 20.
I do not believe he sneezes like that in meetings or while at funerals.Therefore it is just unnecessary.
Also, get a bloody handkerchief after sneeze number one and hold it over your face until you are done.

Used dental floss left on the bathroom windowsill.

Leaving the lids on jars and bottles half done up.

Leaving drawers and the wardrobe door ajar instead of closing the thing.

Putting an empty jar of mayonnaise back in the fridge.

Using my shampoo instead of his.

Leaving supermarket receipts on the worktop.

My lovely DH:
Has a large and rambling floordrobe.
Never turns off the taps when doing his teeth, wastes lots of water.
Poos 4+ times a day. He doesn't sit on his phone or anything, but it still (somewhat unreasonably) is very annoying to me.
Makes lots of random small noises (bee boop, imitating indicators etc)

He would say I:
Wash up things as he is still trying to use them to cook.
Replying "oh I don't know" to either-or questions.

At the same time things like this can be helpful - sometimes people in abusive or truly poor relationships will hide from the realisation by thinking "oh, its just what men are like, you know what guys are like".

It's important to show that this kind of silly nonsense is what people mean - "oh that DH, isn't he daft sometimes, never puts a towel away" "always taking week long poos, men, amirite?!". Not "oh he didn't speak to me for a week after I went on a night out, what is he like!", "he's never ever woken up once with the kids, even when I had pneumonia, men, eh?", "he told me if I brought it up again he'd kick my head in, such a grumpy boots!".

I know that sounds unrealistic, but irl I know someone who when we went to see the 50 shades film, said "oh but I'll tell Dave we went to see something else, he gets so jealous and banned me from seeing it, you know what men are like!" ... That's not what I mean when I say "what are men like!".

Sometimes talks to me in a child/baby voice! We are 50’s FFS.

Never empties the kitchen bin even if it is overflowing.

Runs out of money every month before pay day despite earning almost £50k a year and only paying £1000 pm to the joint bills account as I do.

Leaves things everywhere. Shoes in living room, coats on back of chairs in dining room etc etc.

These were all things that I overlooked for years but are starting to irritate me now.

• Goes to supermarket to buy something specific for one meal (e.g. pizzas for male friends watching sport together) but NEVER checks the shopping list board to see if there is anything else we need. If I ask him to pick up milk and bread at the same time huffs and puffs like it's a huge deal.
• Leaves things out by door/ on hall table to 'remind' him to take/do something. Sometimes for weeks on end.
• Does a strange hyperventilating thing before sneezing and then sneezes loud enough to blow the bl**dly doors off.
• Has a disgusting hanky in his pocket then puts his car keys in there next to it. (I refuse to use his keys)

What IS it about men and performative sneezing??

Mine is the same - lots of noisy hyperventilating beforehand to make sure we're aware and then loud, disgusting explosions which rarely look as if they've been successfully captured in a handkerchief.

I persuaded him to ditch the grey, shrivelled cloth hankies during covid in favour of tissues, but now they seem to be back with a vengeance. I refuse to wash them or put them in with my clothes!

Promises to clean the car.
Never cleans the car.
The inside is like a biology project.
On the first date we had which involved a car he turned up in a pristine motor.
The next day he admitted it was his mate’s and then turned up in his actual car.
Wing mirror hanging on with tape, a boot full of camping gear.
The friend with the clean car? When he happens to go anywhere with him where he is driving he cleans the car! As Pete is spotless apparently.
However, Mrs Peggy, you just get in the passenger seat, covered in empty water bottles, receipts, lanyards, bits of paper…..

Ha ha I have a fair idea.
I think his top three there are probably a lot more---- would be:

My habit of trying to hold a deep and meaningful/ put the world to rights / crazy theory at 11pm at night, just when he's winding down.

Forgetting to switch the toilet light off

Assuming he was part of the first bit of the conversation I had in my head then getting frustrated because he's not understanding what I'm on about ...

Makes coffee, spills it on the worktop(new white quartz in new house) and doesn't wipe it up. Crumbs on the counter.

Pees on seat and floor 🤬

When he's drunk he will get it up to go to the toilet but this could be anywhere, he walked up the hall and into our son's room and went to pee in the corner, only I'm constantly on high alert as I'm such a light sleeper I can direct him to the correct place 😤 thankfully this is not a regular occurrence 😂

And yes the beard trim in a clean bathroom, it seems to be universal!

When we get posts asking why it's always misery on here and no good/light threads. This is the sort of stuff we're on about when we explain why there rarely is. We can't have threads from people in decent healthy marriages because there is always someone who complains and asks us not to trigger those who aren't in them.

I'm the performative sneezer in this household, but to be fair I inherited it from my Dad
For DH, bit niche this, but the time it takes him to assemble his pizza. We do homemade pizza at least once a month, and it takes him north of 20 mins to put the toppings on. I'm done in 2 minutes and go off and drink wine, whilst thinking "you're not Da Vinci creating a masterpiece, just fucking chuck it on!"

We've got a few of those Waitrose lidded screw top coffee cups and he deliberately mismatches the colours when he puts them back in the cupboard.

And leaves the cupboard door open, just for good measure. 😆

Haha @NorthernChinchilla mine is exactly like this with burritos. Who do you think you are mate, Heston?

I've the I don't mind guy.
All decisions are left to me. Where we go, what we eat, what we watch, where we holiday, our car......