(DON'T) LTB

[QuitChewingMyPlectrum]

Petty thread

What does your partner do that gives you that couple of seconds rage 😡

It can be over in seconds and doesn't mean you have to LTB but in those 2 seconds you would happily trade them in 😂

Hissy/whistly yawns that sound like a jet taking off...always does this when I'm trying to read 😡
Does all the washing up, apart from knives.
Asks me for specific instructions about what to feed the pets, then completely ignores what I told him.

Um, regretting starting this because now I'm "Yes!"-ing at quite a few more than I had on my list.

"Performance washing up" is likely to become one of my new favourite phrases 😂

Spends fucking HOURS on the toilet just before we need to go anywhere. I'll get myself and the kids dressed while he's watching shit on his phone having the longest poo ever. But if we're not shoes on, by the door ready to go the instant he emerges and deems himself "ready" then it's our fault we're late.

Also, "irrational seasoning" 😂

@Arthurrat I had a friend who liked cars, would often check them out.
Until one night in a dark car park, she was most enamoured with a particular car. Walking around it, looking at wheel trims etc.
We were all telling her repeatedly to step away...
'Why? I'm just looking '
Because the windows are steamed up & people are shagging in there 🤣🤣
We used to joke that was how dogging was invented 🤣🤣

I call this “weaponised incontinence”

Clipping toenails in bed, is realistically something that would end my relationship.

Mine always dumps dirty washing up on the clean draining side of the sink, as I am standing doing the washing up, having explained angrily over & over to not, the fuck do it.

In no particular order

Sniffing up loudly.
Leaving dirty clothes/towels ON TOP of the laundry basket instead of in it.
Yawn yodelling- he says he can’t help it but he doesn’t do it in public!

Most of the time he is wonderful but those make me stabby.

Open his mouth.

Toast crumbs. Just that

Announces he's cleaned the kitchen sides and when I walk in he's wiped the dish sponge over, missing a load of crumbs and spills, rather than cleaning with a spray and a clean cloth.. Like wtf is wrong with you 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

Takes the time to neatly stack crockery next to the dishwasher WHEN THERE IS SPACE IN THE DISHWASHER.

And every single time I see the crockery stacked up waiting to be washed, assume that the dishwasher must be full and clean so make a mental note to empty it when I get a moment. Then when I go to do it I find it is only 3/4 full, needs fully loading and putting on.

Putting the plates in would be less effort for him than the neat stacking. It makes no sense!

If he's doing DIY or grating parmesan, the sawdust or cheese go everywhere and he doesn't clean them up.

I shouldn't complain as he's an excellent DIYer, made us a fake fireplace in our old house over the raw hole after the 1930s gas fire was removed. He's going to install the free security light we got when I ordered an asthma spacer from Amazon and it turned up instead.
But the leavings scattered everywhere get my goat.

Adds even more shit into the already rammed cupboard. Including anything that comes under the banner of ‘things to sort out later.’
Then insists he hasn’t when I get annoyed about the state of the cupboard.

Coats on the back of chairs. Towels slung over doors. And the rage I feel when he leaves his rinsed upturned cup on the freshly wiped down kitchen side to use again (he never does) Oh, and I’ve just been reminded - that morning extremely loud throat clearing

Particularly as he is much less likely to need a poo if we are going somewhere he wants to go or deems important.

Yawn yodelling- he says he can’t help it but he doesn’t do it in public!

Yes! Now I have a way to describe it - thank you! My sister and I were having this exact conversation a few weeks ago and I said ‘Well he does these exaggerated yawns and then adds in some actual musical notes’. She fell about laughing but I wasn’t really sure I’d captured it properly. ‘Yawn yodelling’ sums it up perfectly.
So yes, that. I had to leave the room last night when it started.

And loudly humming the opening bars to ‘The entertainer’ at random times. It can happen anywhere. I have to think of an inane question for him to answer so he stops.

Thank goodness he’s lovely! And yes, I do wonder what he’d say about me!!

Enjoying all of these while luxuriating in the flat where I live alone!

Tapping a rhythm with his fingers - a sort of 8/9 beat ( I'm not musical, he is ) - I swear that if he goes before me, he'll definitely come back as a tapping spirit to haunt me !

@Laska2Meryls your DH and mine could do this as a duet, it sounds like the Overture to Murder that mine whistles!!

My DH has also started to deliberately mishear me and repeat back things I’ve said that are blatantly ridiculous. Such as ‘have you seen my phone?’ will be met with ‘your trombone?’ It is dad jokes at its finest and it must stop!

Oh @Plastictrees no. Nonononono. Thoughts and prayers.

When mine does a half arsed job of cleaning and I tell her, I get the whole “you should say thanks not criticise”…

I guess as this is mumsnet this is something annoying I do (mention it), not something annoying she does (leave a mess)

"What's the plan for <a project of mine awaiting completion that has not been Tidied Away>" as code for "when are you tidying up this stuff".

Performance sneezing.

Always being ready on time when I am running late.

Inefficient dishwasher stacking, which results in not being able to fit everything in. I manage to fit twice as much in a load without compromising the cleaning.

Leaving mugs in random places with an inch of coffee in the bottom. He gets distracted and just puts them down and wanders off. I then pick them up, thinking they're empty and inevitably tip the inch of cold coffee over myself.

Leaving his keys/wallet/phone in random places and then frantically searching for them two minutes before he needs to leave the house.

He's lovely but i could happily sell him on eBay sometimes!