Adultwork

[happyhoney123]

Hello I've discovered a whole profile from Adultwork of a young woman (27) in a folder on my husband's iPhone. I just happened to go through it while he was asleep last night and came across it. To play detective I signed up then did a search of this particular girl who lives just a few miles away from us. Nice discreet cosy set up in an apartment. I feel sick to my stomach and haven't gone into work today as I need to prioritise myself. I left it open so he'd see it when he woke up to start a conversation. He said there was nothing there ( he took his phone to the loo) then after probing more said the lads at work looked at these kinds of things.
I'm devastated as we're in our 50s coming up to retirement and we have 4 grown up girls and grandchildren (what the hell is going on here)?
He says he didn't put it into a folder but I have folders to organise my stuff so I know that they don't put themselves first. Am I overreacting here? I'm in the process of getting all of his personal belongings and leaving them outside. I own my home outright so he would have to go back to his parents as he has nothing in his name.
I want to be with someone who wants me. This is our 2nd marriage and I'm slim healthy and take good care of myself. Thanks for reading x

I’m sorry Op, this doesn’t sound great.

if you’ve signed up already, why don’t you contact the girl and see what she says.

it might be innocent but I think we both know it’s unlikely.

And FYI, unless you have ring fenced your house,which is difficult and unlikely, it is the marital home so your husband would be entitled to half of the equity, assuming it’s in your name and not another relative’s.

@happyhoney123 I'm so sorry- you obviously have to decide if it's something you can get past - I find porn hard enough and my H was watching this shit around 5 days a week- turned me off forever if I'm honest and yes I'm still married- prostitutes he would he gone

Sadly it's irrelevant if you own the house outright -

There is no way out of putting a profile from Adultwork into your iPhone folder.
It's there for a reason and I think he thought I'd never look there. I would rather not contact the girl as I'm pretty sure she wouldn't disclose her punters. Sorry you others have experienced this sort of thing too. It's horrible and makes you feel rubbish. My next steps are clearing his stuff out as I find him repulsive now. Also explains why he's turned me down in bed for the past year.

I'm so sorry OP.
What a piece of work he is: buying a young women's body. Especially when you have daughters and grandchildren.
As you say there is no innocent explanation for this.

@happyhoney123 yep- that's the problem- you never really feel quite the same again-

What a horrific betrayal, @happyhoney123. You must be reeling. Your H’s denials are ridiculous, insulting and cowardly.

I admire your zero tolerance for his renting this woman’s consent and body parts. It’s disgusting that this husband and father of daughters views women as objects and commodities.

I would imagine that he is an egocentric, entitled, self-serving individual in general.

Please keep posting to let us know how you’re doing, happyhoney.

Nothing to add, but genuinely sorry, OP.

Thank you to all of you for your replies they are keeping me going today. Yes he's a spoilt entitled only child who's mummy thinks he's never in the wrong. He's due home soon and all of his stuff is outside in bags. He's messaged throughout the day to say that I'm over reacting as the girls profile is for a stag do at work. What the hell!! Ok so he cheated on me 2 years ago and for the last year we've been working on things but that is it now. I'm going out soon as I don't want to be in the house when he collects his things.

I'm very sorry OP. It's a horrible, horrible thing to go through. I hate to say it, but maybe you should have an STD check.

Well done on putting his stuff outside!

Thinking of you...

He's cheated on you and is buying a women's body. What a vile man.

Get rid. Men who pay for sex workers hate women. They see women as nothing other than sex objects for their pleasure. If you've ever seen men who pay for sex comment on it, you will see how firstly sad and pathetic these men are, and secondly how much these men just despise women. You comment on being slim, healthy and its absolutely nothing to do with your desirability. Any man who considers paying for sex is not worthy of your time

I'm sorry OP

Well thats it! I waited round the corner and saw him collecting his stuff on the camera. Then he had the audacity to drive past me and flash his lights as if to say I've seen you. He suggested he took a few things via messages earlier while I think about things for a few days! What the hell! Also gaslighting me into thinking it's for a stag do at work. He creeps me out now. It's just me now. Girls are all independent and my home is just mine. It's already ringfenced and it's in a will to be left to my girls. Thank you to everyone for your helpful comments and support. The saying is definitely true that a leopard never changes it's spots. He wanted the comfort of a nice home and the status of a wife. I've gone through gambling cheating and now this so that is that. It's all about me now. I'm staying on my own 😊

Well done @happyhoney123 . Swift and decisive. Are you sure he won't be able to claim half of your home?

You go @happyhoney123 you seem very sorted about your home, too.
No doubt he will try and play silly beggars at some point but you’ve done the right thing.
Hope he enjoys his mum’s box room 😂

So proud of you OP. I wish we all had your strength

I'm not feeling very strong right now but i know that I can't keep on being disrespected. On the surface things were great. Lots of holidays together meals and drinks out. We have slept separately since getting back together a year ago after his infidelity. If I'd not checked his phone last night I would have been blissfully unaware.
I feel calm and thinking how do I fill my days now?semi retired so have grand children when not working. Sorry I'm rambling now

@happyhoney123 I really wish you well - think my attitude would be same as yours, especially in your position with house etc - what an utter twat he is !!

Best of luck and well done you. Absolutely twat. You'll be better without him but sending strength as will still be tough for a few weeks or months.

What a pathetic loser he is — cheating on you previously and then using a sex worker while pretending to engage in a reconciliation. He has shat all over his second chance, and is clearly unremorseful, as he insulted you with the lamest excuse ever and taunted you by flashing his lights as he passed you.

@happyhoney123, this is a huge blow, so consider accessing IC to help you move through the grievIng process. You’ve got gumption, and will no doubt go from strength to strength.

Ah, I see the soon to be ex husband has joined the thread.

Spoken by a true tramp 🤣🤣🤣...

Op don't blame yourself for his lack of self control sorry but that's not a man that's a rat the girls old enough to be his daughter . Complete disrespect. Value yourself and pap everything he owns out the front x

Not overacting at all! I wish you would have gotten a screenshot and saved the proof. He's a disgusting creep.