Eye contact during foreplay?

[Lovi96xO]

I didn't know where else to post this so here goes, I have been seeing someone for a while and it's like we are friends, but with benefits, today one thing led to another and I was giving him a blow job - he wanted me to look at him whilst he was having an orgasm, I have been thinking about this none stop now because to me it felt very much like it was very intimate for 'friends' 🙈🤷‍♀️ is this what most guys do? Or does it mean something? 🤔

Agree with this. Eye contact during sex is very important to me. I couldn’t imagine not looking straight into the eyes of someone I’m intimate with.

However I do think you’re trying to read something into this that’s not there OP. Hes telling you loud and clear it’s only about sex for him. If you’re happy with a FWB situation and nothing more then that’s all good but if you’re developing feelings and hoping for more then walk away as that’s not what this is.

If you think you’re seeing him and really like him but he just sees you as a friend I’d cut this off right now. You are going to end up with feelings and getting hurt because he just wants you for sex…. The eye contact doesn’t mean he has feelings for you

Just read your other thread OP so this is a very new situationship and you’ve only just come out of a shit relationship that ended with a traumatic event.

Honestly, I don’t think getting into a FWB situation is right for you at the moment. Give yourself more time to heal and truly understand what YOU want. You’re very vulnerable- completely understandably - and this man will mess with your head because you’re not in the best place.

No, it's a porn thing.

The actresses (and actors if they're gay) almost always hold eye contact during oral sex and climax.

I wouldn't presume it means anything re feelings for you.

I'd also rethink fwb, they rarely benefit women.
The fact that you're wondering if x means he has feelings for you, and it sounds like you hope do .... Demonstrates why they rarely benefit most women.

You're enough of sex within a committed, full relationship.

People saying it's a porn or a submissive thing are insane

It's because he's fixed on it.

In real life sex people do all sorts of things during oral sex etc - eyes down, eyes closed, not always looking directly into the eyes of the person they're doing it on. They should be "allowed" those variations, it's natural behaviour. The recipient should just be glad they're receiving it and not staging it, as such.

The fact he's fixated on this thing, and trying to stage manage it - makes me feel like he had a strong idea in his head of how it should be (based on porn, in which they almost always do the eye contact thing when giving oral sex) and it's a "recreation" of porn scenes, rather than a natural, varied, go with the flow thing.

If the op doesn't naturally look a guy directly in the eye when performing os or when he climaxes, that's her "style", end of .... And he should accept that, he sounds like he's trying to turn her into a performer. The OS is a performance. Like porn.

I, for one, think it's likely to be porn based.
So many porn sick men around.

No sorry. His wanting you to look at him as he cums does t mean he thinks of you as anything more than fuck buddies.
Its a turn on, often done in porn, and just an extra kick - it’s not a sign of deep loving!
Even sex looking to into each others eyes, is just a different kick - different feeling etc, does not mean you’re deeply in love!

I don't see it as porn related.

Thank you @Pickle991 that gives much needed context for me to understand better where you are coming from. I'm sorry you experienced that and as a victim too, I know I've also battled with feelings of shame, so I hear you. Our experiences are all different but I've personally found I've grown more from non-judgemental support and learning to forgive myself, hence feel defensive of those who might be early on in their recovery.

Him cumming on your face whilst your making eye contact could mean getting shot in the eye with cum, which isn't the best life experience. Maybe eye contact up to the point then shut your eyes and groan spectacularly, they love that. Also the eye doesn't mean anything specific. It's very odd how as FWB you can go from having a cup of tea then quick BJ. how do you emotionally prepare for that? What do you get out of it?

MN relates anything even remotely sexual back to porn.
Some guys just like this, it's a turn on. No different to how some women like the guy to be looking up when he's going down on her.

It's simply a preference. There is no deeper meaning.

No, it’s just a turn on for them. It doesn’t mean he’s in love with you - men don’t think like that.

Doesn’t matter whether he wants eye contact as you suck him off, OP, but if you’re hoping this indicates he sees you as a girlfriend rather than a friend he has regular sex with, I reckon you’re developing unreciprocated feelings for him, and should end the FWB situation, which only works happily when both parties agree on what the relationship is.

Call me weird but how is it physically possible to have eye contact with a bloke with his willy in your gob? How is that achievable? It's not quality eye contact really is it as you're not on the same level so to speak? Or is it about control on his part?

You need to tell him how you feel before you get hurt. You never know he might feel the same and if not - at least you know.

@MermaidEyes You're right. It genuinely baffles me.

I wouldn't say that my husband and I are "far out" in terms of our sex life but he's definitely not a porn addict and treats me with respect and loves the very bones of me but honestly if I mentioned on here some of the things we get up to in the bedroom these women would have me convinced that I'm just a host for his porn-fetish and he hates women.

Eye contact during sex is tame 😂

Call me weird but how is it physically possible to have eye contact with a bloke with his willy in your gob?

Of course it's possible, unless he's got a huge beer gut, I guess. You just look up.

Well yes, but it is him getting some adoring upward gaze from a woman who is subdued and on her knees. It's horrible.

It's not necessarily an adoring look, at least not from me. In fact it's probably not often an adoring look. Show him your teeth once in a while. 😉

🤮🤮🤮🤮

Eye contact when giving a blow job is very much a stimulating porn type thing, it shows them you're into it & turns them on more, nothing to do with intimacy in a romantic sense.

You don't need to feel silly. I also think direct eye contact is more emotionally intimate than anything. Of course blow jobs are physically intimate but that's not the same thing.

It doesn't matter how you feel or why you feel like that - if you're not comfortable doing something when it comes to sex etc, you don't have to. End of.