Eye contact during foreplay?

[Lovi96xO]

I didn't know where else to post this so here goes, I have been seeing someone for a while and it's like we are friends, but with benefits, today one thing led to another and I was giving him a blow job - he wanted me to look at him whilst he was having an orgasm, I have been thinking about this none stop now because to me it felt very much like it was very intimate for 'friends' 🙈🤷‍♀️ is this what most guys do? Or does it mean something? 🤔

I agree it’s porn related.

What are you getting out of these arrangements op? Does he look at you adoringly when he goes down on you? Does he make you orgasn?

No need to feel silly. I don't think it means he has romantic feelings , just something he wants to happen.

Not sure how everyone is relating the fact he likes a very normal thing, back to porn.

Is it even physically possible to look him in the eyes whilst sucking his dick? 😆

People saying it's a porn or a submissive thing are insane.
It's perfectly normal to want eye contact with the person your sexually intimate with. In fact it's more off putting if someone didn't want eye contact!

However OP I think you are searching for signs that this man likes you as more than friends and I don't think this is it. I don't think you should have a friends with benefits situation with someone that you have developed feelings for. You will get hurt

I don’t dont means anything, other than the fact he wants you to play along like you’re really enjoying performing fellatio and his orgasm.

OP, just a month ago you posted about having a surgical termination with a guy you’d been seeing for 4 years.

Is this the same guy?

I doubt OP will return as all she really wanted was for people to say ‘oh gosh yes he has feelings for you, he must really like you!’

when did some women become so pathetic. Honestly it’s so depressing. Moaning about how men don’t respect them and have nothing to offer… and then hoping putting their penises in their mouths will make them fall in love with them.

The eye contact is perfectly normal during sex, but as PP say the problem is that you are now desperately trying to find evidence he likes you likes you. And he doesn't. This is casual no-strings to him and always will be. All that lies ahead for you is hurt if you keep seeing him.

I think I get what you’re saying but I agree with others that eye contact in sex does not necessarily mean anything in terms of emotional connection and is just a bit turn on for some people.

Jeeesus, some comments. I'm not sure shaming the OP is all that helpful really. Obviously I've no idea of OPs background but surely people must realise that victims of CSA can grow up very confused around sex and love? Do they need shaming for it?

OP the only way to know if this man has feelings for you is to ask him, but it doesn't sound like it, sadly.

FWB is dangerous as soon as feelings become involved, so you need clarity and to exit this situation sharpish if the feelings are not reciprocated. Eye contact clearly means something to you, so you don't want to do that if it doesn't mean anything to him.

Oh for god sake. It's NORMAL to make eye contact with a sexual partner.

Stop being hysterical.

I don't this is a sign he wants more than friend with benefits situation tbh. It's something people find sexy rather than intimate in a loving, coupley way.

Are you hoping for more or would that be something you're seeking to avoid?

Bit of a leap to assume the OP is a victim of CSA.

asking him if he has feelings is pointless. You know when a man actually likes you. If you ask, he will make some noises kind of what you want to hear, so you keep sucking him off.

I’m not sure when it became so normal to have so little self respect but it’s so frustrating.

I'd be inclined to believe what he says about just being friends rather than reading into something which could be all manner of things. If you're developing stronger feelings I'd advise either talking to him about it but being prepared it could end the friendship, or just block and move on to save further heartbreak.

Cos everyone hates men on this site and the first chance to call them an abuser, they will.

But somehow all those with sons are exempt.

I clearly say I don't know if relevant here, but we dont know that she's not. It wouldn't hurt to consider that most confusion around sex/love usually comes from some bad experience or other before piling on the shame.

I am more just frustrated that this is a theme we see played out time and time again rather than specifically trying to shame OP.

I actually was a victim of CSA, and made bad choices as a result but eventually I had to stop using it as an excuse and grow up and get some self respect so I wasn’t perpetuating the bad treatment I experienced. We are all responsible for ourselves, and to be honest I should have felt ashamed about what I was doing to myself.

sometimes uncomfortable feelings are the catalyst for growth.

OP needs to be aware that sucking men’s dicks doesn’t make them love you.

I think you want it to have the underlying context that it must mean he wants more.

It's not a deep meaningful "look into my eyes", it's just what gets him off easier. Sorry.

Don't read his desire for eye contact as romantic, it's part of his sexual desire for a woman to do that but don't assume it's indicating he likes you as more than a friend and occasional sexual partner when all the other signs are he does not. I agree with others it's framed as a submissive act in porn

He wants you to watch him as a sexual kick, not a bad one but please don't think it necessarily makes you more than a FWB.

I honestly think you should back out of this now as i have the feeling you like/value him much more than he likes/values you - and you're going to get really hurt and have your self esteem harmed.

You want more than this IMO and you deserve more than this OP.

This in spades.

I agree it’s a porn thing, sorry OP. It gives him a feeling of power to see you looking up doe-eyed at him while he shoots off down your throat.

Not sure how old you are but your posts are so sad. It sounds like you’re so yearning for connection and commitment that you’re scratching around for tiny signals that he might have feelings for you. If he did, you’d already know. Men are generally not mysterious when it comes to pursuing women they like.

In a FWB set up there’s usually one friend who’s getting most of the benefit, and in this case it sounds like it’s him. Walk away from this one love, there’s only hurt and confusion in it for you.

There is nothing wrong in having sex with a good friend. Equally, there us nothing wrong in eye contact with someone you are having sex with.

I think you are about to get hurt. You are falling for the guy who isn't that much into you. You need to raise your standards and only date people who are interested in relationship with you rather than casual sex. I am sorry if I sound harsh. There was a thread on Mumsnet recently of a girl who suddenly started caring a lot more about the guy and he didn't want to know. It was heart breaking to read. You need to put a distance between yourself and this guy in my opinion. If he fancies you then he will pursue. But this FWB business mostly suits men in my opinion. I could go both ways I admit. However the moment the woman starts developing feelings it's time to break free. Women are biologically programmed to settle down to ensure to survival of their children (try earning a living when you are 8.5 months pregnant). Men, on the other hand, disseminate their genes by sleeping around with as many women as they can. Which is why women are much more likely to get hurt in FWB scenario.