Red flag or mismatched sense of humour?

[Charlottedancer]

I have been in a relationship with someone which is becoming more serious. Last night in bed I was reading up comments/ reviews on a TV series I'm really enjoying at the minute. I casually mentioned what I was looking up and reading on my phone when he was chatting to me. He then scoffed and called me 'an imbecile'. Said how he'd never care about what anyone else thinks of a show and would be watching it regardless. I was really taken back at the name he called me, and also the strange impression he was implying. I said I was just looking to read up to see if anyone else thought some of the things I thought....I suppose I bit like this forum. Wanting opinions, reading chat about topics I'm interested in. I am really headstrong and do think for myself, I feel he was implying otherwise. So I was hurt and angry that he didn't seem to know me and also that he was putting me down snd laughing.

This may seem very trivial, but it stung and I'm very sensitive to watching for dickhead behaviour after a previous relationship. At the same time, I don't want the negative experiences to push anyone decent away now. I didn't get a chance to talk about it, other than say I was hurt, it was a weird thing to say and it was also an incorrect observation.

Couple of other possible amber flags. Talking about these is possible, however he usually stays firm in his opinion regardless, but hears me out. He says its just his humor.

When we get on, things are really good. I'm very confused.

I feel a bit silly that I let someone in like that, but 7 months in, I suppose that's when you start getting down to the real person underneath it all. We spent lots of time together. I was willing to let some twatness go but the shoving old people out the way in supermarkets and being rude to a waiter early that day, it too much in one go! The little bit that misses some of his nicer qualities will pass soon and I have been burned!

Lucky escape op. You don't need someone like that around you.

I really appreciate everyone's comments on it, being able to get this stuff off my chest and having this wise, funny and helpful advice has really helped me stay strong and feel good about myself. You really can change someone's day by sharing kindness, so really thank you 😊

His loss OP, his loss.
I think he realised he was punching and instead of embracing it, he had to let his inner twat run away with itself and expose his small intellect and insecurity.

It would never have lasted.
He would have eventually embarrassed you socially.

Well done Op
You deserve someone to love you as you are as you sound awesome!

Much more importantly- what was the series you were watching?

Thank you!! It was a series on BBC called Industry? It was annoyingly addictive...I didn't have the foggiest clue about all the finance jargon, and stock market bollocks but the storylines were hooking and the characters felt real ( most of them). Have you seen it? After thr first series I worried it might be a bit like Skins had grown up and moved to London as post graduates, but it did warm up 😅

Well done for getting rid. Calling someone an Imbecile means they think they are intellectually superior to you. Ironic given he gets his Information from TikTok.

Red flag.

If he was a normal guy he might say something like “I never read reviews because I often disagree with them “ or “I never read reviews because I don’t want spoilers” but using words like imbecile is extreme. “That’s so silly” is sometimes appropriate “Imbecile” might be ok if you ran him over or something serious.

Ick 😝

shoving old people out the way in supermarkets and being rude to a waiter

Total dealbreakers! You would soon have wondered what you ever saw in him, OP.

I’m obsessed with it. It is an addictive show. If you’d like to know what washing powder the cast use, what they are eating on Christmas Day and where they keep their snacks stashes when filming…
well I’m not that bad!
Enjoy it. I did!

Omg it was such a good watch, wasn't it. The last series was so intense. I didn't think I like the Game of Thrones guy in it, but played a great character. I binge watched it to the point I thought they were my mates. Do you know if that's it done or if there will be another series? The synthy music probably kept my excitement going each episode haha.

I just googled it like the sheep i apparently am, and they are planning a season 4. Who needs men....

I've been with someone who denigrated me in the same way. Interests and tastes we had in common were fine but anything I took a fancy to on my own merit was to be soundly squashed. It was a platform for him to showcase his superiority while holding me in contempt.
I always remember a catastrophic row we had over a CD I bought. I heard it at a friend's house, liked it and bought it. He was furious that I had a notion to listen to something he wasn't a fan of and had no influence over. I bought it because I was a sheep, because I was trying to impress my friends, because I have no taste and I'm easily pleased. I stood up to him and told him I'd listen to whatever I liked. He ended up red-faced and sneering with all his might, called me a fucking moron. It was awful.
Anyway, we had been together a long time by then, years.
It started out like you describe here.
These traits rarely get any better.

I loved the series Industry.

Yes this all feels similar. What a knob for gettinh so angry and calling you that. Very controlling behaviour- thanks for sharing that, i can make the connection that what this dude said was also about control. He told me how he's probably the only person who listens to the lyrics of songs (?!), and that's why he prefers songs with real meaning......I'm up for people expressing themselves, but what if I did that too? He never asked, I think he just assumed I didn't either. Ick.

I loved it! I wasn't sure if I was cool enough to be watching it, with all the drug taking and inappropriate sex but I was all in regardless.

He told me how he's probably the only person who listens to the lyrics of songs

Goodness, he does think rather a lot of himself doesn't he! I'm surprised you didn't laugh in his face.

I dated a man who told me I could never understand the depth of how he understands music because no one else feels it as deeply in their soul the way he does. He told me that because he feels music so much more than anyone else, everyone tells him hes the best dancer they’ve ever seen and I quote ‘black guys are always jealous because I have more rhythm than them’
Then he got up and did the cringiest, most embarrassing dad dancing with a smug look on his face thinking he was amazing.

I really struggled to keep a straight face when he went ‘I told you how good I am. Did you see the look on everyone’s faces?’

Btw this man was nearly 60 and still deluded.

He was talking to you and your shut him down to read comments from strangers.
I think you embarrassed him. He snapped.

Before reading his age I was about to message and say we dated the same person! I swear, word for word he said the same thing. I know it's not a competition but I work with sound in my day job and with a hobby/ interest/ second job type thing, so it was insulting, even if a bit funny.
Your message was hilarious, I cringed with you and could imagine the whole. Yikes. I'm assuming you couldn't sleep with him after this!

I was reading first. He interrupted me by asking what I was doing so I told him. I was filling my time while he trailed tick tock. If he wanted to engage me, I was all ears.

Mine also hated me reading. If I read during the day/the evening, I was ignoring him and if I read in bed, the light kept him awake.
Reading was only ok if he was otherwise occupied.

Just oh my God 😂🤣😂

I am nearly 60 and really enjoyed the series. Forgot about it so delighted to read I haveca 3rd to catch up on👍

I really enjoyed Billions too!