Acceptable response or no?

[pathologicalpeoplepleaserr]

Just back from city break with DP. We had a very early flight on the way out, had been awake since 2.30am. We went out exploring all day and had dinner reservations for 8.30pm to celebrate my birthday. We had a few daytime drinks and inevitably I was tired. For context i am known for falling asleep earlier whereas he copes on little sleep. We went to the hotel at 5pm and I planned to nap for half an hour but we both slept through for 3 hours. We still made dinner but DP gave me the silent treatment for entire night, said about 2 words to me and sat with his face like thunder. Afterwards he said it was because it was my fault we fell asleep for hours and he couldn't enjoy his meal half asleep.. We both fell asleep and I think is reasonable given the time we were awake. I feel that he ruined my birthday meal and was trying to punish me but he doesn't see that. Do you think he is being reasonable here and just to let it go?

I think he was being extremely mardy ruining your meal, does he make a habit of this behaviour? Nothing stopping him setting an alarm and I don't see why you were responsible for him. As you say, you were awake very early so it makes sense you'd want a nap

LTB

What an arsehole. Not a nice man at all.

Ask yourself if he often ruins occasions that aren't all about him.

Why is it your fault that he fell asleep?

You both napped longer than expected
You made it to your birthday meal

This sounds absolute heaven to me.

A) I don’t get why he was mardy
B) The fact he was not prepared to get over it (whatever it was) and celebrate with you proves he’s an arse

He can be quite grumpy at times but usually for a reason I could somewhat understand. I am also struggling to understand why it's my fault he fell asleep for that long too, other than I was the one who wanted the nap initially.

Just noticed your username OP. What would happen if, for once, you didn’t accommodate his grumps?

From experience it tends to prolong the silent treatment

I really fail to see how he is blaming you when he fell asleep as well. How does that work?
And to spoil your birthday meal because of it is just almost as though he was looking for an excuse to be unpleasant to you.
Belated Happy Birthday OP.

So is he saying he didn’t enjoy the meal because he slept and wished he’d powered through? Well, it’s a shame he didn’t enjoy it, but I don’t know how that’s your fault. A grown man can decide not to take a nap; I presume he didn’t think he had to do it just because you did?

In any case, I would have thought it was more important for you to enjoy the meal than him (although obviously ideally you both would have). He sounds like a right bloody whinger, frankly.

Wow he sounds awful. 😞 Hope you’re ok. Xx

He's a selfish manchild who will be a millstone around your neck for the rest of your life. Do you really want all the joy sucked out of every special occasion by his fragile ego? Get rid of him.

You know the ‘silent treatment’ is abuse?

He sounds like a selfish fucking prick tbh

I can’t even imagine blaming somebody else for ME sleeping for too long? Surely if he wanted to put a time limit on a nap then he can set an alarm like everybody else?

So it was your fault he slept for 3 hours?

But it is not his fault that YOU slept for 3 hours?

The silent treatment is abusive and he sounds like a prick.
No it's not acceptable behaviour and not the way someone who loved you would behave.

Have you said to him

The napping didn't ruin my birthday meal out your face like thunder and subsequent blaming me for your nap did. If anyone has the fucking right to be pissed off it's me you utter mardy selfish egotistical man, next time we go out to eat I am taking a book just in case I have to sit opposite you like that again. I refuse to pussyfoot around a grown man sulking like a toddler it's unattractive and boring.

And don't let it affect you OP

If he gets in a mood in future whip a book out, or walk away. Moody men don't like being ignored there is no point in being moody otherwise, it's to get you to jump around making their fragile egos feel better, probably like how mummy used to do. Honestly screw that.

Ignore them a couple of times and you will see how quickly they stop.

This. ^^

“The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them! “

This is the thin end of the wedge. It’s unforgivable to ruin your special day. He’s a man child, a toddler mentality.

Ditch him.

Get rid.

This

His reason for blaming me for falling asleep is that he would have stayed out had I not wanted to go back for a nap and hence it wouldn't have happened. That's how it's been twisted to be my fault. It was the most uncomfortable dinner ever and was sitting looking at other couples with envy that they were having a nice time. I didn't sit and scroll on my phone as we have had arguments about me being on my phone too much so that would have been used as an excuse for the sulking too. It just put a dampener on the whole trip with that being the first night and should have been celebrating.

Please get rid.

So you chained him to the bed and forced him to nap while you napped? You stopped him going out for a walk, explore while you napped? No, didn't think so.

How long are you together? Sadly I think this kind of behaviour increases over time with some people. What is he like day to day? Might be time to reflect on your relationship and how it makes you feel.

Do you have shared children or finances? I'd move on swiftly if I were you. He doesn't sound like a normal person.