Acceptable response or no?

[pathologicalpeoplepleaserr]

Just back from city break with DP. We had a very early flight on the way out, had been awake since 2.30am. We went out exploring all day and had dinner reservations for 8.30pm to celebrate my birthday. We had a few daytime drinks and inevitably I was tired. For context i am known for falling asleep earlier whereas he copes on little sleep. We went to the hotel at 5pm and I planned to nap for half an hour but we both slept through for 3 hours. We still made dinner but DP gave me the silent treatment for entire night, said about 2 words to me and sat with his face like thunder. Afterwards he said it was because it was my fault we fell asleep for hours and he couldn't enjoy his meal half asleep.. We both fell asleep and I think is reasonable given the time we were awake. I feel that he ruined my birthday meal and was trying to punish me but he doesn't see that. Do you think he is being reasonable here and just to let it go?

Ruining other peoples special occasions is a very common behaviour from narcissists because they have to make everything about them. They’re resentful and jealous of anyone else getting attention.

Are there other red flags in your relationship OP?

He sounds like a petulant child not an adult
Why are you putting up with this nonsense?

he has upset me on other birthdays too

This isn't a surprise to hear, sadly. Abusers will deliberately seek to ruin special occasions (that aren't all about them). Have you read Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft? I feel it may be (more of) an eye opener for you (it sounds like the scales have started to drop already).

Very sad OP. I can't imagine my DH ever giving me the silent treatment. What a terrible way to live.

Yes I think I have been putting up with it for too long and there are probably other red flags I've ignored. I'm not sure if it just takes a tipping point moment to realise how bad things have gotten, if that makes any sense? As I'm now reflecting and realising a lot of other occasions where he's acted similar that I'd never given much thought to.

Please leave him, from experience it will only get worse. He most likely does know exactly what he's doing, but will never admit to it. I wish I'd had a wake up call before I married mine.

I maybe missing something but what sprung to my mind was maybe....
he expected you to 'treat' him intimately/sexually as a reward for treating you for your birthday! & perhaps you fell asleep instead!!
This can be an excuse or trigger for some men!! Hence his grumpy, sulky attitude during dinner!! 🤔 (totally selfish & unnecessary behaviour regardless)

I apologise if this isn't the case... but I was trying to read in between the lines!! 🤷🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

Make that permanent

Please explore the pattern.
It is the pattern of narcissists.
They only get worse and they NEVER change.
9 years is surely long enough of this bullshit.

I think you are with my exh op. Does he name start with G?

LTB

And tell him that phones have an alarm function.

LTB... he doesn't value you and this relationship.. literally no point of being with a man like him