Acceptable response or no?

[pathologicalpeoplepleaserr]

Just back from city break with DP. We had a very early flight on the way out, had been awake since 2.30am. We went out exploring all day and had dinner reservations for 8.30pm to celebrate my birthday. We had a few daytime drinks and inevitably I was tired. For context i am known for falling asleep earlier whereas he copes on little sleep. We went to the hotel at 5pm and I planned to nap for half an hour but we both slept through for 3 hours. We still made dinner but DP gave me the silent treatment for entire night, said about 2 words to me and sat with his face like thunder. Afterwards he said it was because it was my fault we fell asleep for hours and he couldn't enjoy his meal half asleep.. We both fell asleep and I think is reasonable given the time we were awake. I feel that he ruined my birthday meal and was trying to punish me but he doesn't see that. Do you think he is being reasonable here and just to let it go?

Being annoyed briefly is understandstandable because when you wake up all groggy and still sleep deprived you ain't gonna be jumoing happy but..

1. That should be at the situation not at you
2. Should have been snapped out of quickly with a " it's been a chaotic tiring time we're here now let's have a lovely time "

OP, you desperately need to contact Women's aid for advice.
You are in a highly abusive controlled relationship with a nasty vile bully.

Why are you tolerating this?

He is a dick !! My EX was like this. Absolutely not ok

Yeah, he's abusive. Get rid.

Glad I'm not crazy and pretty much everyone agrees with me that he is in the wrong

Tell him to jog on. If he was that worried about sleeping he could have set an alarm on his phone, and silent treatment is for kids and twats.

Giving the silent treatment is actually grounds for divorce now op.. Consider this.

He sounds like a complete child and you’re in an unhealthy relationship

I am pretty sure that boyfriends are supposed to be really nice to their girlfriends when it's their birthday.

I don't know how long you and DP have been together, but I can categorically tell you that he is most definitely trying and succeeding, in punish ing you, by giving you the silent treatment.
It has taken my husband forty five years to admit that his silent sulking is his way of making himself feel better, and me feel worse after some perceived misdemeanor on my part. Even then, I had to spell this out to him, his lack of self awareness ,breathtaking. I'm a good example of how not to live a life. Please give your DP's actions some serious thought: the writing's on the wall..

No he was a dick to do that. People who give the silent treatment (generally) and for daft things like this are such a drag to be around. Nothing reasonable about it at all. Why didn’t he set an alarm if he was going to be so pissy about it?

Nasty little man.

Acting like he had no choice but to nap.

Looking for reasons to blame and abuse you.

Silent treatment like some fucking Enid Blyton boarding school brat.

Get rid of him.

Yes exactly, it's not as if he had no influence over the situation

You will be a very foolish woman if you carry on and ignore this.

He has shown you that he is a nasty, vile, abusive prick.

I booked a food tasting experience in Rome with my bf. I was excited as I love food and cooking etc. From the whole trip that was the thing I wanted to do the most.
We didn't go as he felt ill that day of the trip. He said he didn't mind if I still went but I chose not to leave him on his own feeling unwell away from home. I could have gone as in general I'm quite happy doing things on my own.
We stayed in the hotel room and ate things from the supermarket. Eg crisps and ready made sandwiches.
No one sulked or mentioned it again. It was a non issue. Sometimes things don't go to plan and it's abusive to sulk about it. The silent treatment is horrible. You really should dump him as a late birthday present to yourself otherwise he will ruin every special occasion going forward.

My XH always found a reason to ruin special occasions, mother's day, my birthday, Christmas, everything was always my fault, even his abusive behaviour. It's much nicer without him around. I expect if it hadn't been this he'd have found something else to be pissed off at you over OP. People like that take any excuse they can get to take their feelings out on others.

If you think posters are overreacting telling you he's being abusive and to leave, try treating him the same way he treats you just for a couple of weeks.
My guess is he will be furious and unwilling to accept it. Which will tell you all you need to know about how he really views this behaviour.

He's a child. Ridiculous behaviour, tell him to get a grip

Narcissistic abuse involves spoiling any happy occasion.
I grew up with a father like that.
Any special occasion was always marred with upset because of him and his moods.
I left home early and stopped visiting on special occasions as the association was of him and his moods.
My mother tolerated him and so their children didn't visit at Christmas.
They couldn't understand why their children chose not to visit when all their neighbours had their children in and out over Christmas.

Bloody hell, he sounds awful! He was clearly as tired as you were, otherwise he wouldn't have slept for three hours too!
How long have you been together?

Please don't be me! My "D"H and I have been together 47 years. He's giving me the silent treatment this morning and I've no idea why! I have asked him and he won't answer.
It's completely draining and infuriating but we work together so I can go into my office and shut him out until he comes to his senses.
He's done this to me on a few trips away. Rome springs to mind. It was supposed to be lovely and it was awful. A 4 day trip turned into a 3 day DH grump!
The grumps don't happen very often but when they do it's awful. No one else suffers; he's bright and breezy to everyone else 😡

9 years! If I'm honest he sulks a lot so not sure why this incident stood out to me and he has upset me on other birthdays too so not really a one off occasion just perhaps the most ridiculous.

9 years! If I'm honest he sulks a lot so not sure why this incident stood out to me and he has upset me on other birthdays too so not really a one off occasion just perhaps the most ridiculous.

Ahh, he's upset you on other birthdays too! Does he not like you having the spotlight?

My god OP.

9 years of him spoiling birthdays and giving you the silent treatment for nothing. Sounds like a controlling narc.

I couldn’t even be arsed to have a conversation with him about his behaviour at this point. But if you must, tell him you won’t tolerate any more ruining things for you and silent treatment situations and if he does it again it’s over. He’ll say you’re wrong and he’ll do it again and so you will have to leave.

Or just break it off and free yourself from this miserable little man. He won’t be too surprised.

💐

How unpleasant for you, op.

You really deserve someone who does not sulk.