Aww thanks so much for asking, that’s really sweet of you. I’m honestly touched.
Do you really want to know…? Ok, so Jackanory time!
So… event went brilliantly. I was the one registering people, so when he showed up (looking gorgeous and amazing and cute and lovely) I went bright red and sweated for about 15 seconds but signed him in, was chatty, all normal(ish), all fine. He was nice as he always is. Literally like nothing had happened. We had a social in the evening and I was walking some guests from the hotel to the pub and was waiting in the foyer, when he came over with the two people from his organisation and asked about the route. I said: “You’re welcome to walk with us!” So we all walked over together as a group and he was saying something about his work and I remember thinking: It’s great that this is so normal, but really NOT A WORD about my email? Even now? In the evening?!
And the next day he gave a presentation (about his charity work - he’s genuinely an amazing human) and I was in the front row and he kept making eye contact (he was so nervous, love him, his hands were shaking, so I don’t think he was looking at me for me, but because I’m a good active listener - I literally went on a course about how to do it!) and when he left he came over and said: “Thanks for a brilliant event Arlanymor, I’ve so many ideas for my organisation and met so many great people. See you later.” So that was nice that he did that, but on the drive home I was thinking: NOT A WORD?! (And put on lots of The Cure songs on the 4.5 hour drive home to match my mood!)
Then an email popped into my inbox on Friday - event ended on Thursday - and I thought… this MUST be it! We’ve been away for two days he was sizing me up, working out how he felt, ok that’s fair enough…. Even if he says thanks but no thanks, that’s fine. I read the emaIl, he was thanking me for the event and… submitted his expenses claim.
Nothing more. NOT A WORD?!
UGH. UGH. UGH. UGH. UGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
So I went into my emails (I emailed from my personal account) to delete the message I sent to him, as it’s gmail and otherwise it would come up forevermore if I searched for something even vaguely tangential.
And I had accidentally put an ‘x’ (a misplaced kiss?!) in the middle of his email address. I don’t know why I didn’t see it at the time or check it before. But basically I spent two days thinking (and acting as if) he had received an email when he hadn’t! (Like you said about spam, but was actually me being a complete dumbass, sausage-fingered moron).
UGH. UGH. UGH. UGH. UGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
So I did nothing about it and met up with some friends from my writing group yesterday and towards the end three of us went for a glass of wine. I am 45 and the other two are retired, very retired, they are in their 70s. The whole sorry saga came out and I said: “Ah well, probably for the best, maybe the universe is trying to tell me something.” And they both said: “NO! Forward him the original email and say ‘Whoops!’ If nothing else it is funny and you probably were acting weird even if you didn’t think you were!” Then I got a lecture about nothing ventured, nothing gained… it honestly felt like they were preparing me to go to war… and so, under the pressure of two septuagenarians, I did as they said.
I forwarded it with a message that said: ‘Oh… I was labouring under the impression that you received this before the event this week. I didn’t realise that I made a mistake in your email address. Just saw it now. I am truly an idiot. Not sure what to say really - but if worst comes to worst I don’t have to face you for another six months, by which time my embarrassment will have hopefully died down!’
That was last night and he’ll see it tomorrow in work I guess. I weirdly feel much calmer about this latest email than the original one!
Sorry for the lengthy derail, but couldn’t really have explained it in fewer words! And thanks again for asking, that was really sweet of you.