Staring, does he fancy me or am I reading into it too much?

[Crushingat30]

I have an almighty crush on this bloke, think teenage girl level of crush 😂

When we've interacted I felt a bit of chemistry but also got the impression he felt a bit shy and awkward.

I've been psyching myself up to 'say something' to him as I want to find out if he's seeing anyone at the minute but feel a bit awkward myself.

I knew I was likely to bump into him today so I made an extra effort with my appearance and looked quite nice if I do say so myself.

When he clocked me as we were about to cross paths he was definitely staring, i'd even say gazing. I made a lighthearted comment "are you OK? You're staring right through me" with a big smile and a laugh, to which he replied "erh uhm I'm sorry, I didnt see you there"

He was staring right at my face 😂

I clocked him looking back in my direction after I'd passed on but he just as easily could have been checking if the bus was coming.

So, would you take that as a sign of him finding me attractive / being interested or would you think he was just in a world of his own and I'm deluded because I want to jump his bones?

I don't think so no.

It has left a bad taste. It shows a total disregard for my time and other commitments. Very off putting.

Strange, could be many reasons for the turnaround but yeah best ignore him from now on but thats not great if you're gonna bump into him in real life again.

I'll definitely bump into him, unless he completely changes his route home.

I'm not going to send anything else now as the silence speaks for itself but if he ever contacts me again in the future I do plan on letting him know how rude I found him for wasting my time.

Really strange. What was your last conversation about!?

He messaged me good morning and asked about something I had posted to my WhatsApp story (a book I'm reading)

I asked what his plans were for the day and he asked mine. I mentioned needing to go to the shops and he joked about what I would be getting for him.

Little bit of back and forth then he stopped replying. It's just weird isn't it?

Annoyingly I did let my guard down beforehand and messages were a bit more flirty than they would have been if he was somebody i didn't already know.

Cringe.

If he doesn't have DC's, I'm sorry to say, it's likely that you having them is going to possibly make him reconsider starting things up. Particularly if he knows you cancelled a date because of your ex. Nobody wants to put up with their plans being scuppered and dependent on an ex. If he knows this was the reason for cancelling, it's most likely put him off. I say that as a past single lone mother who was unimpressed by an OLD man who cancelled due to his ex-wife wanting to go out with her partner last minute, he said he'd never turn down time with his DC's whenever she asks, so I told him, it's not for me, bye! If there is no formal co-parenting agreement sorted, then dating becomes dependent on what the ex wants, and that is too hard a pill to swallow. TBF, Monday is a pants night to have out compared to a Friday, it was a poor compromise.

Totally see where you're coming from.

I didn't mention my ex letting me down for exactly the reason you mention. I wasn't specific but said something unavoidable had come up and I was really disappointed but would still love to see him another night.

He has two DC of his own, one lives with him FT and the other he has every other weekend.

I run a small business alongside my regular job and I use social media to share lots of things to do with that and he's watching every single story I post, and really soon after I post it. What's the point of that if you're avoiding somebody? I'm finding him a bit strange now tbh.

It's a shame as I really did like him.

So he's read your last message (blue ticks)?

I'd wait and see. He can't be that keen and then go cold so quickly (unless you have shagged already)

Maybe he's got something going on and can read but not reply or maybe he's anxious or overthinking it.

Or maybe he's just a twat.

He's definitely read the message yes to the two blue ticks.

He doesn't have his 'last seen' feature switched on but I can see he has been active all day because he's been watching my stories. I made a point of checking after I noticed.

We haven't slept together or done anything at all yet and in that sense I think his timing is probably a blessing in disguise because honestly.. I probably would have done within a couple of dates as I'd been lusting after him for months 😐

Men. Ugh.

Just a thought..

He isn't receiving direct notifications on our chat every time I post a whatsapp story is he?

I'm now concerned that he might be and therefore thinks I'm sending them to him in particular which would me look like a right moron. I can't think why else he'd go out of his way to watch every one.

Does whatsapp do that?!

That's true, he would have.

Definitely.

It's such a strange way of handling a situation with somebody you're almost certainly going to see often.

I would have respected his honesty if he'd have been upfront and said he wasn't feeling it and I wouldn't have had any hard feelings towards him at all. I'd have still said hello / smiled when I saw him. This has just made it awkward for both of us.

I know I'm in the minority here but it's only been half a day. He might be sorting our child care before confirming, he might be somewhere he can't reply. He might have interpreted your text as a confirmation, not checking, it's still on. He might reply tomorrow morning. He might be so excited to see you and thinking he needs to play it cool so is dealing down the chat until he sees you. Don't write it off so soon.

Dialing not dealing.

I will be surprised if he does, I will update either way 🙂

Ah, I was getting into that and then he ghosted?!! I’m shamelessly here for any updates…

I'm having to stop myself sending a message, I'm usually the one advising people to say nothing at all and to just breezily move on but he has really spoilt my day. Why do men have such little respect to do this? So rude 😩

Oh sod it I've done it.

"Hi, it would have been polite to let me know it's a no go today as opposed to ghosting as that's really quite rude and makes for an awkward atmosphere when we inevitability run into each other. If you are no longer interested that's fine but consider communicating that to the other person in future. Have a nice week!"

Instant response from him with some rubbish about how he locked himself out of his house this morning and he doesn't know when he'll be able to get back in so can't meet but that there will be no awkwardness.

What a dick he turned out to be.

No further response from me.

Do you think he has a partner already, op?
That could explain some of the weirdness.
Well done for not listening to any lies and excuses.

What a load of ridiculous rubbish!

It's funny you should mention a partner as that's what my gut was telling me yesterday. As PP pointed out it's quite odd to go from being hugely interested to not at all. I was wondering whether he had a girlfriend he sees on weekends, hence the dramatic switch in contact.

He has sent me a further 3 messages now.

One asking me to please not feel awkward, then another one with a picture of a door key saying he had just been to collect a spare, then another one saying he's so annoyed that it has to be today of all days.

Alarm bells are ringing aren't they?