What's the difference between finding someone attractive and a crush?

[kinsey681]

I don't know what the difference is. If you fancy someone, you fancy them right? Or can just acknowledge that someone is attractive but not fancy them? I don't quite understand when people say that.

Thoughts?

A crush is proper butterflies

Attractive is just ‘yeah he’s cute’

I can acknowledge someone is attractive without fancying them.

To me, crush is a little bit more. More like feeling 'actively' attracted to someone, rather than objectively thinking they are attractive.

The difference is do you want to shag them?

Crush is definitely being slightly obsessed.

Finding someone attractive is just noticing someone has appealing qualities or looks

'Actively' attracted? We don't choose who we find attractive or not though

To me the difference is whether or not you think about the person's attractiveness when they're not there.

I struggle to see a difference. If you find someone attractive romantically/sexually, is that not just fancying them?

Often I think people become more attractive to you the more you get to know them which then becomes...bam, you wake up and you've got a massive crush.

Just me? 😂

You just said attractive though, not sexually attracted to someone.

What's the context that's making you ask?

Obsession.

Attractive is about objective looks, fancying them is more about a spark?

I think I understand the 'active' thing about a crush a pp mentioned. It's a feeling of wanting to do something about it, to get closer to the person, to be liked by them. As opposed to simply finding a person attractive, which can sometimes just be an observation. It's a more passive feeling.

To me, attractive is aesthetically pleasing. You can notice it but get on with your day and never think about it again. A crush is infatuation; thinking about them when they're not around.

Attractive: you think they look nice when you see them

Crush: you think about how they look nice when you're not with them.....

Exactly this. I can see someone and think "wow they're good looking - how attractive" and then my next thought is about what I'm getting from the shop later or what I'm having for lunch.

A crush isnt like that- you think about them often and frequently and you get a bit infatuated with them.

Is he attractive?
Yes, if I introduced him to a number of women it wouldn't surprise me to hear more than half of them fancied him. He's not necessarily my type.

Do you fancy him?
Yes if circumstances were right I'd like to have sex with him.

A crush is really defined as like an infatuation with someone. It’s more than just finding them attractive.

Isn't a crush more about whether the person is in your head. So you think about them, get a flutter of butterflies when you see them, anticipate being with them.
That kind of thing - so emotions are involved too.

Finding someone attractive - is 'yeah, sure she/he is pretty/handsome. Next...' Doesn't take up headspace.

This. A crush mrams that you imagine scenarios between you and them. Crushes wear off over time, it's like you got on pop stars as a teenager. Fancying someone is more cor, I wouldn't say no to sex in the right circumstances.

I think a crush is obsessive can't think of anything else go out of the way to bump into while attractive is yep nice but forgotten until you see again.

I think attractive is the same as being able to see that someone is good looking.

Example - I can appreciate that Ben Affleck is an attractive man but I don’t fancy him

I would say I found someone who I thought was beautiful or handsome was attractive.

There’s plenty of beautiful / attractive women I can think of that I have no interest in having a sexual relationship with. I even saw a beautiful dog
the other day and had the same reaction that I would to a beautiful man or woman.

If I have a crush on someone, I want or am thinking about a sexual relationship with them. For me, someone being attractive isn’t a sexual thing - it’s more of a passive, objective observation thing.

I can appreciate that a lot of my colleagues are objectively attractive. I have no interest whatsoever in doing anything about it, and would recoil if any of them tried anything with me.

When you think about attractive famous women (assuming you are female and straight), so eg Claudia Schiffer, Angelina Jolie, Margot Robbie, presumably you can see that they are beautiful and that many people would fancy them, but you don’t actually fancy them yourself? It is like that.

Loads of people of both sexes are objectively attractive to most people. Many actors/models etc. but it doesn't mean you've a crush on them. I think a crush is when you actually feel like you want to date and or have sex with them. Even though you know you don't really know them well enough if at all to make such a judgement. Like you see them through rose tinted glasses. Almost like a fantasy figure. Usually the reality hits and the crush wears off.

Crush - you're staking their social media.