I don't get it... Online Date

[Onlinedaterubbish]

Me (34) and my online date (37) met last weekend after a week of chatting on app and arranging to meet for a date after he asked me out. It wasn't the best date in the world, but it was pleasant and he was pleasant and I hoped I'd see him again and it would be less awkward next time. It started a bit awkward as most meetings between strangers do, but we had a some good chat and a laugh at times.

At ten o'clock, I said we should be getting off as we both had work the following day so we left the pub. Hugged each other goodbye and wished each other well for getting back safe.

He text me an hour later saying 'Thanks for a lovely evening, I had a great time! I thought you looked incredible btw' which I thought was nice. I responded and said it had been nice and had been good to meet him too.

A few back and forth messages about our journeys home then I said I was heading to bed and Goodnight.

That was nearly a week ago, and I didn't hear from him again.

Why did he text me at all after the date if he wasn't interested? And more, why did he bother to say I 'looked incredible' with a heart eyes emoji, when his behaviour since suggests he didn't feel that way after all? He wasn't that taken with me or have such a great time, if he didn't bother to text me ever again?

His online profile states he wants to find a long term relationship.

Bit disheartened as in mid thirties and still can't meet anybody.

This. He's done nothing wrong.

Sorry if I'm missing something, but had/have you reached out in that time?

Who was the last one to msg? Maybe he thinks you didn't seem as interested in him and has backed off..
Maybe msg him?

No

I mean did she reach out.

Why would it be limited to a message? She could have called him? Heck, maybe she could even have written a letter 🤷‍♂️

It’s so strange isn’t it…,when I still was dating I met someone and we had amazing chemistry, the date went on for many hours (his initiative) and I also gave signs that sex (even casual) was on the cards. Never heard from him again. Even if he was just after sex, he could have got that at our second date, I’ll never understand why he dragged out this date for so long and then seemed to neither want to date further nor have sex. OLD is just weird.

it may be that he was interested but he has been dating a few women and had progressed further with someone else

Well wossy, wasn't fussy wuzzy washe? Charmer.

My photos on my dating app profiles are no older than 6 months old. So I don't believe I catfished the guy. I also don't use any filters etc on my profiles because I want to be as genuine as possible.

I don't understand why he bothered to tell me I looked incredible with a heart eyes emoji, that couldn't have been a genuine comment. And that is why it's left me confused and disheartened because I initially believed him!

@Wossy you sound like a real nice guy....not!!!

He's met someone else online and is busy with them. He may be back in touch but I personally would delete and move on.

Is he away (half term)? I realise that being away doesn't mean he can't text but ...'

Is he meeting other women? It might be that he does like you but currently has a number of other dates planned and is seeing how they go. It's quite normal when on-line dating for people to meet a few different people before the number naturally dwindles down.

have you messaged him? maybe he's sat there waiting for some kind of response?

No, as I was the last one to message

Aren’t the stats something like most women are trying to date the same 20% of men? The focus is job/status/height/looks etc. Whereas most men are open to most attractive women regardless of job/income bracket etc. So as long as they are attracted to you looks wise, then a date could be on the cards.

The reason I’ve mentioned that is because behind you are probably another 10-20 women that are equally as attractive and interested in dating him. So the odds are very much stacked in his favour which is why he’s not fussed about sex.

You've said yourself the date wasn't anything special, just two nice, normal people making the best of a pre arranged meeting with a stranger.

He's 37. I don't know him but in my mid 30s I'd reached the point where someone could the kindest, funniest knockout but if I wasn't feeling excited about the date there wouldn't be a second. If he asked me, I would say 'no thank you'. If he didn't, I would assume mutual polite lack of interest and not send anything.

He said you looked incredible as part of a polite follow up and thank you for the date. He probably did think you looked lovely and appreciated any effort you'd made. That didn't mean he was eager for another date.

Generally someone can really enjoy your company and think you're great, but if they're keen they will be ensuring they see you again and arranging another date ASAP. Anything else is a near miss. No big deal and no confusion. Neither of you felt wildly inclined to see each other again, he paid you a compliment anyway.

I've had this so many times!

I understand that most men aren't capable of sending that awkward 'rejection' text, and most likely want to keep their options open anyway..
But why be so 'polite' and complimentary..
the mind boggles.

Delete and move on