Not sure what to make of this

[TheSnugHare]

my bf was being affectionate towards me and then told me we shouldn’t get too close because he isn’t sure we will work out, but his feelings might change.we were supposed to be watching a movie together tonight. Not sure if we should now

I’d walk. He’s starting the process of becoming distant.

There are a few reasons why he might have said that and not one of them is good for you (although not necessarily 'bad' of him)

You're not his toy, sitting on a shelf waiting for him to decide if he's interested.

Suggest you both take a break.

He's already clocked out at the idea of long term commitment it sounds, no one that loves you says this. Time is too precious to stay for someone not sure on you.

Are you sure? What do I do now? It feels off that he would be affectionate towards me and then suddenly say that.
Also in hindsight he keeps snapping at me more but I just assumed it’s because he’s tired/going through things.
I thought a bit of a date night would be nice for us but I don’t know if we should have it now or if that makes me petty?

He's not for you, OP. You deserve someone who thinks you're fantastic and thinks he's incredibly lucky to be with you.

He's checked out mentally. He's hanging on while he looks around. Have the conversation- life is too short to be with someone who doesn't see a future with you.

What you do depends on if you want to be kept on the end of a string. He'll pull you in when he wants you (bored), then shove you back out when he's had enough.
He's preparing you for his blowing hot and cold game. I suppose you could call it grooming.
These men make me so angry, I'm sorry OP.

It was worse than I thought. He said he was only with me because he felt sorry for me, that he doesn’t like spending time with me and doesn’t care and He won’t miss anything because we have nothing in common (not even true) and when I got upset he said I was acting like a child. My period started a few hours ago, I’ve been in pain all day, feeling sick and feeling like rubbish and was going to have a nice relaxing early night but had this bomb dropped on me I told him I wouldn’t sleep well tonight as planned because of it he said he’ll sleep well with no issues because he’s a normal person that doesn’t over react. it’s almost 2am and I’m still awake and restless.

He sounds like a total dick at best, emotionally abusive at worst. Be prepared for him to come back, expecting you to dance in circles trying to please him. Block and move on.

i presume he is now your ex and you have blocked him on all platforms - he sounds like a twat

Block him and have nothing more to do with him.
He's emotionally abusive and may even try to get back with you to see if he can, don't go back.

This, OP. You have to harden your heart against him now.
Don't tell him how hurt you are, because he did this to hurt you and to watch what happened.
I agree that he might try to get you back just to see if he can, he's like a small boy pulling wings off flies, just because he can.
He's cruel.

He is definitely worthless to you OP.
Everyone is saying the same thing because it is very clear from the outside that he is a rubbish man that will treat you badly. It's harder to see when you're in the situation so please take heed of what everyone has said.

Block on everything, process your feelings and carry on with your head held high. You dodged a shit bag!

):

Sorry. Some men are vile. I hope you have a nice time with films, delicious food, hot water bottles and whatever makes you feel better.

Thanks everyone, and thanks for this too. I have a hot chocolate and a hot water bottle. I’m listening to calming music. I feel dizzy.

You can't make him love you and the love of a cruel man is something to run away from anyway.

Lovely, you're in the middle of a lucky escape. Keep your feet on the ground and consider what he's done with his words. Just how nasty he is.

Block him. The man is a complete twat. He said all of that a) to hurt you b) to see your reaction and c) got a kick out of it all. A nasty individual. I'm sure he'll probably try to wheedle his way back in...he was tired/didn't mean it/you made him say those things etc. Whatever, the reason, I'm sure it will be your fault. Do not take him back. Block him. You deserve much more than those poor excuse of a man.

Is he always this direct when addressing sensitive issues? 🚩 for me I'm afraid. Never ends well. I

Thankfully you no longer have to see the prick. Dodged a bullet.

A man who says such dire things and you are actually questioning yourself?!
You should be celebrating! He sounded truly hideous.
Congratulations of being free of him.

Look after yourself, buy flowers, wear nice clothes and dont dwell on someone who wasnt worth your time x

Well - he's just an utter wankbadger isn't he!

You ought to be laughing at his utter presumption and ego! What a total fool he is!

Honestly if he ever contacts you again LAUGH IN HIS STUPID FACE because he's a total waste of space.

Good grief

yeah I know what he’s said is wrong, it is painful for me to hear and he is supposed to care about me and love me, he can be so contradicting and it is really confusing me and messing with my head. Sometimes I think I hate him but deep down I miss him so much. He tells me he doesn’t care if I get upset because of something he said, yet says he cares about me, but both can’t be true? He says he wants to be with me and then he will suddenly become cold and say he doesn’t because I have snapped at him after he has been winding me up? He says he doesn’t mean to. And other times he will say he meant to. Other times he will say he meant to but he doesn’t care. He says certain things and then takes back what he says later because he was angry, and then other times he tells me he never says something he doesn’t mean. He told me we don’t do anything together which is why he doesn’t like me but whenever we try and do anything together he starts an argument so I don’t want to. I think he is more stress than he is worth. I am letting this affect me more than it should and it is impacting on my life and my sleep.

He threatens to leave and never speak to me again and threatens to block me on everything, he says he won’t miss me and doesn’t care because he’s a normal person that can get over someone in a month. he tells me he doesn’t love me and doesn’t care about me and then will tell me he misses me and wants to be together. He blames me for everything, says we wouldn’t fight if I didn’t instigate it myself, and when I tell him it’s him instigating it he tells me to stop reacting ?!

How long were you together?