Husband leaving me for a sex worker

[FireTiger24]

I am undergoing chemo for breast cancer and have just found out that my husband has been cheating on me since my diagnosis with an online sex worker. He has only known this women for a couple of months, they are in love and is now setting up house for her and her child. She does not live locally so she is have to move from the north to the south so they have only met each other 2 times so far. We have 2 children together 10 and 4 that he wants 50/50.

I just don't know how someone who says they loved me and our children can do this and whether I should be concerned about him and his current actions.

I came here to say (as above) that this is disappointingly common.

OP, your Clinical Nurse Specialist or whoever you have to support you will have seen this so many times. Make sure you tell your team because they know how to support you or signpost you to what will help.

All the best OP. I cannot see that your ex's new relationship will last. I wonder how long it will be for him to realise having a sex worker for a partner will not work out well. I wish you all the best.

I’ve heard this too. Apparently the % of men who desert women with serious illnesses is MUCH higher than the other way around. Of course #notallmen but some men are just rubbish. Sorry @FireTiger24 for all you’re going through 💐

This. She isn't in love with him, she's seeing £ signs in front of her eyes. I'd be moving what monies I could before he gives it all away.

So sorry OP, you must be devastated and dealing with so much right now. I hope you have solid support around you for when he inevitably comes crawling back.

1. I am so sorry about your diagnosis OP.
2. You are absolutely not alone! Sick wives and Divorce
3. Do not blame yourself and focus on your health.

Wow what a totalling selfish idiot. I would assume he's a bit of a selfish tool anyways, as for someone to willing do this they must of been born a bit of a pig.

Wow. Wonder what your/his family and friends think?

Keep your head up I think this is a massive sigh that HE definitely isn't worth it and fighting for!
Please try and concentrate on your recovery 😊

Sending lots of well wishes 🤍

I’m sorry your husband is such a twat OP, and I wish you a full and speedy recovery.

To answer your question, no you don’t need to worry about him. He isn’t ill or stressed or having a break down. He’s a selfish deluded arsehole.

Divorce him as quickly as you can. Speak to a solicitor ASAP. Look into any benefits you can claim.

You’ll be OK without him.
💐

Do you have joint savings? Take as much money as you can out now. She only wants one thing from him and that's money- protect as much as you can.

I’m sorry this is happening to you.

Please get legal and financial advice OP.
Your H priorities others before you & your children , he makes rash decisions selfishly without considering how it could impact them . It’s on your shoulders OP to think of them and ensure any money or asset , your will or insurance , pension in your name is protected and goes to them and not your husbands …. And her child.
If you don’t divorce him you run the risk of this happening. He’s shown his true colours .

It is appalling that you need to even contemplate doing this

Thank you all for the messages of support. I can assure you all that I am ensuring I am protected across all aspects and I will 100% not be letting him have the children around her and her profession.

I am mil % so much better out of it all and I can see that.

He just sat me down the other night and told me that he was leaving because of how toxic I am and how unappreciated he feels as he has had to pick up more work around the house on top of his work. As I am not working due to the chemo.

It is becoming very obvious the 5050 access request was very much coming from a financial perspective.

Thank you all again so much for the messages. It has been great having the support and the information and whilst horrible, comforting to know, I am not the only person who has experienced similar.

Sending you lots of strength OP, though it sounds like you’re super strong.

What an arsehole. You sound amazing and I think he will end up regretting this for the rest of his days.

Can you imagine moving in with someone you've met twice? And what sort of person would move their children in under those circumstances? Neither of them has any idea what they're getting into but I'm pretty sure they've both got their own agendas......
You sound like an amazing person and deserve so much more than this. Get well and have a wonderful life.

There's a thread somewhere that lists 'The Script' for when they have left, realised they have made a huge mistake, and try to come crawling back...

He just sat me down the other night and told me that he was leaving because of how toxic I am and how unappreciated he feels as he has had to pick up more work around the house on top of his work. As I am not working due to the chemo.

Wow, what an utter shitbag. I wonder how appreciated he'll feel when he moves in with his new 'girlfriend' and she's camming for a client in the next room. He's probably deluded himself into thinking he's so special that she'll give up the work now he's swooped in with his shining armour

Thank goodness he's revealed his true colours. I wouldn't wish a man like that on anyone.

OP I’m sorry - Saw your update, what an absolute cunt of the highest order he is saying that.

There is no way he can spin that to anyone vaguely sensible to make himself sound like the injured party. A loving partner would take on anything extra at home to make sure you recovered well.

Doubt he’ll get 50 50 living with a sex worker he’s known such a short time.

Keep all your friends close OP. Make sure they all know. If he isn’t already out of the house I’d get him out by any means possible. I’m sure you can think of a way.

💐

Wow he really has no idea of what “toxic “ really means does he?
I would not minimise his appalling behaviour if anyone asks why he’s leaving I’d be completely honest with them.
I hope you have good friends and family to support you OP , you are well rid of him.

Agree. If this was me everybody would know. I’d write different versions of this to all my family/friends.

‘Just to let you know, H is leaving me for a sex worker he has met online. He told me he doesn’t like having to do extra housework when I’m too sick due to the chemo. He also says I am toxic. As you can imagine I am very worried about where this is leading, and am seeking advice on how to move forward. In the meantime I would really appreciate if you could check in on me now and again over the weeks to come ‘

or something better!

💐

Let me tell you about what should happen when you are sick. During maternity I had a severe mental health episode. I could barely get out of bed and my contribution to the house was breastfeeding my daughter, doing online food shops and the occasional load of washing.
My partner did all of the cooking, loaded and emptied the dishwasher, hoovered, tidied, cleaned the kitchen and bathroom, changed the bedding, held me whilst I cried, encouraged me to wash and brush my hair. He did this for over a year without complaint. He had another year of doing more than his fair share whilst I built up again. I don't need him to buy flowers and chocolates to say I love you. His actions during that year said it every day. He also went through a 2y drought in the bedroom too without complaint although was definitely happy it ended!

In a good relationship the other person is there to hold you up on the dark days when you can't hold yourself.

and they have met twice.

good luck to them both, the female is very foolish to uproot herself and her young child for this man that can't keep his dick in his pants.

and the Op is well rid of him !

I am so sorry this has happened to you.

What a grade A unfettered prick.

Get yourself well, glam yourself up and show him what he's dumped. Do NOT take him back!

Oh the poor lamb having to do a spot more work at home because you are critically sick. He doesn't know what toxic is. He wants out because you are no longer convenient but he cannot be man enough to say it.

It really annoys me when men get upset that they have to do stuff at home. We all have to. If he were single he'd had to cook and clean. It's not your job to look after a grown man even when you are well.

Lets see how convenient his new girlfriend is.

Your an amazing lady. Going through your treatment and having to deal with this treatment from your 'husband'. Your incredible. We're always here for a chat or a rant .