Don't want my GF sharing a room with colleague....

[iminsecurez]

Both female
Live together ,4 year relationship.
She's started a new job and in 2 weeks going away with her work mates for a company works party.
They have been told they will be sharing a room with a colleague.
My partner sharing with her boss
I know it makes no sense but I don't like the idea.
I can't say anything because I know I'm being silly.

Would you feel this way ?

Would be concerned she is sharing with her boss more than anything else. Doesn't seem an appropriate arrangement, as their is a position/power difference, as opposed to just sharing with a work colleague at the same level.
Even when I went away on work events, I never shared with a colleague.

Expecting colleagues to share rooms is dreadful practice.

This! I have stayed in hotels for work for over 15 years and not once have I ever been asked to share, even if it was a work social activity. There is so much that is inappropriate about that, especially when it’s the boss

It is NOT you business. If your GF is comfortable and fine with it then it's fuck all to do with you.

Would I feel that way?

No, and I'm gay. Unless you have some other valid reason to be suspicious of your partner YABU and are being overly possessive. You will drive her away being silly about things like this.

Is your girlfriend is attracted to her boss? If she isn’t then I don’t think it is an issue. If she is then you have bigger problems.

So if your boyfriend /husband said he was sharing with a female colleague you would be fine with it ?
Not even a tiny bit jealous ?
Truthfully ?
Don't believe it

Frankly that would never happen for obvious reasons, but tbh no, I would not feel jealous at all as I trust him completely.

I would mostly feel concerned that it would be terribly awkward for him.

Do you not trust your girlfriend?

Gutted OP. Are you really comparing that to 2 women sharing. Safe spaces etc??

I’m not bothered about who he shares a room with, if he goes away with friends he shares a room, if he goes away with his hobby group he’ll share a room likely with someone he’s never met. I’m not paranoid, and I trust him, so it doesn’t matter.

you are jealous because your gf is sharing a room with another female? How bizarre. I always share rooms with my female friends (and adult son) when away. It’s perfectly normal

How does SHE feel about the idea of it? You haven’t once mentioned that. She’s the one who’s actually got to do it!

I would be very upset to be mistrusted in this way if I was your partner. Are none of her close friends also lesbians? Would you be throwing a strop if she shared a room with a friend on holiday?

Has she given you a reason to be worried?

I wouldn't want either myself or my partner to have to share a room, I'd always pay extra for my own room, I like my own space and privacy, is this an option.

Your girlfriend is gay. The boss is not. Why are you worried?
The boss is not going to be attracted to your girlfriend. What do you think is going to happen?

And yes I'm a bit jealous
This needs dealing with. It isnt acceptable. Especially when it impacts on how you expect your partner to behave.

the ‘if you cannot afford a room for each member if staff, you cannot afford a christmas party’ made me laugh. Our last christmas party was at work and we paid to cover the costs. This year’s is not at work but again, we have to pay to attend.

I wouldn't give a flying fuck. As long as he was comfortable. Personally, colleague room sharing isn't a policy I can get behind but as long as my H was cool with it it absolutely wouldn't bother me. That being said I am not a jealous person and I trust him implicitly.

they wouldn't make a man and a woman share and a gay woman is the same deal.

It really isn’t. No company would make people of the opposite sex share because it’s likely to make both feel uncomfortable. I don’t want to undress in front of a man I barely know - but I undress in front of other women in the gym every week. Single sex spaces for changing are something we’ve all been brought up with.

It’s not about preventing any potential sexual attraction. How would you even legislate for that? What happens if someone’s not “out” - or is the company going to force everyone to sign an affidavit swearing to their sexuality?

I also think that sharing rooms in a work related situation is completely inappropriate and unreasonable. It should not be the expectation at all and if I was asked to do this I would point blank refuse. It's a bit odd.

I wouldn’t care if my husband shared a room with a female, gay colleague.

It's not the same thing if the boss is hetro. Would I mind my husband sharing a room with a gay guy? No, not in the slightest.

I wouldn't be okay with this either tbh

Are you saying that in her position, you would cheat on her? Because thats how it sounds. I'm going to speak plainly, your jealousy is your problem, and you need to deal with it. There is nothing positive about it, it will eat you up and you will destroy your relationship.

Gently, if you are unable to deal with someone else doing a perfectly ordinary work overnight, then I’d step away from dating and relationship for a while until you’ve worked on your giant insecurities.

You feel whatever you feel, but that's your stuff to handle internally or with a therapist.

It's not on your partner to limit her activities because of how you feel.

If there is form for cheating, then lack of trust would be understandable, but you'd be better off leaving her than policing her. And you haven't said there is form for cheating, so on the face of it, you're unreasonable.