Found Tadalafil in boyfriends bag, multiple boxes.

[scouse1994]

a few months back, i was emptying my boyfriends bag that he takes to work with him, and found two empty boxes of tadalafil. i never approached him about it after a quick google search as i saw it was for ED and although we have a very healthy sex life, i know he has a testicular torsion he will not get operated on as they said there’s a (LOW) chance he may lose his ability to finish. he decided against it, and despite the pain when we have sex of a morning, he always finishes. that being said, i can feel him getting soft and can tell he is struggling due to the pain.

other than that, our sex life is good and healthy and a session can last anywhere from 15 mins up to 2 hours at times, although 2 hours was earlier on in our relationship. (this may be due to the tadalafil)

however, i was going through his coat pockets yesterday and found another box. the date had almost fully wiped off but i could make out 22/08 meaning they’re from august this year cause why else would he still have them on his persons as he threw away the previous ones. there has been some incidents recently where i’ve been led to believe he may be cheating (FOUND A CONDOM WRAPPER IN HIS BAG, HE SAID IT WAS FROM A “POSH WANK” IN WORK), and he often has to stay in work in a different town from the city we live in, multiple times a week sometimes.

i don’t know what to do..

If it walks like a duck…….

Stop going through his pockets and bag might be a good start

Start by talking to him, not rifling through his stuff. If you don't believe him leave him. You need to trust for a relationship to work, if you don't have that, and don't want to work on it, don't bother.

Yes, like that really works.

I did that once, washed £60 in notes (the paper ones) and got hell for it.

I now go through his pockets.

So as to remain ignorant of anything he's getting up to when he's staying away, you mean?

Marvellous.

I'm guessing you root through his stuff because you have suspicions so no judgement from me there.

No one has a posh wank in work.

I'd find the posh wank thing really hard to believe but maybe that's just me. From experience the anxiety caused by suspicion will eat you alive and destroy your self esteem. I'd talk to him but ultimately only ypu know if you believe him.

sounds like a massive pack of lies!
Have you had sex with him when he has been on the drug?

i would imagine so! he doesn’t know that i know he takes them, so it’s likely that i have but i can’t say for certain.

for those saying to stop going through his stuff: i am the one who washes his clothes so i have to make sure everything is empty before i do incase his bank cards, or things for work end up washed and destroyed.

i have no reason to believe he’s cheating aside from the condom wrapper. posh wank does seem HIGHLY UNLIKELY, i am aware of this. i dont personally believe it myself, especially cause he works in a hotel and how do you think our relationship started? 🤦🏽‍♀️ few months ago i did see him messaging escorts of a certain naTure shall we say (the clue is in the capital letter) however he said he had no intention of meeting them and would never pay for sex but admitted to messaging more than once.

which feeds into my belief he is cheating but he said i had no proof to base it on (apparently a literal condom wrapper isn’t enough)

my question is:
DO I APPROACH THE TADALAFIL SUBJECT

AND IF SO, HOW? i understand the male ego and pride and him not wanting to tell me.

Just get rid of him. You won't ever trust him.

So you caught him messaging escorts and believed him when he said he wasn't going to actually meet them 🤔 😕 🙄

Just dump him. You don't need proof of anything. You don't trust him. I don't blame you. I wouldn't trust him either.

i literally went through his bank accounts to make sure there was no large withdrawals or transfers so i know he wasn’t meeting escorts. if he was going to cheat, it would be with one however cause he hasn’t got the time for a full blown emotional affair.

Oh stop wasting your time trying to figure out how to GENTLY approach him about what you know suspect is cheating.

Even if he tells you it is prescribed for this or that unconnected with cheating activities, would you ever be fully convinced given the condoms (which I suspect he doesn't use/need with you) ?

Time to move on I think. I couldn't cope with that anyway FWIW.

Ok, your later post seals it. He is using prostitutes. Get rid unless you are comfortable with that.

He refuses to have surgery for torsion!!!! Well I hope he realises flesh around the area can permanently die if he refuses long term. Bloody hell.
As for the rest who knows sounds like he has a problem. You'll just have to ask him what's going on.

OK the escorts are the issue here. Get rid. You know deep down it won't be just 'talking'. He's not being fair to you.

You mean you met him whilst he was cheating on someone?

oh god no! i mean we met in our place of work and started being intimate together in work before we ever got serious and considering it’s a hotel, it’s pretty easily done.

He's cheating. It couldn't be more obvious if you walked in on it.

It's fine if you want to turn a blind eye and ignore it, but you probably need to apply that to everything, including the Tadalafil.

Don't have your head in the sand, though. If you're going to accept this, make a conscious decision to do so, and then take precautions to keep yourself safe - regular STI tests, always use condoms, etc.

Ungh are you really this desperate to be with him? He’s awful.

i know deep down in my gut that’s the case but all the little snippets of things i have aren’t enough for me to conclusively accuse him of cheating cause they can be explained away easily enough.

we don’t use protection but i know that if he was to cheat he always would as he’s told me when he was younger and would cheat on his BM that he was always safe. he’s cheated enough on his BM to be more or less professional at it now if he wanted to. which is why things like me seeing him messaging escorts, i feel may possibly be “harmless” as he’d have tried harder to cover it up.

hes not particularly secretive with his phone and i often play on it or have a nosey through and he knows this and is fine about it.
like he is very honest and open about stuff when i ask, but things keep creeping up which is making me skeptical.

i know deep down in my gut that’s the case but all the little snippets of things i have aren’t enough for me to conclusively accuse him of cheating cause they can be explained away easily enough.

we don’t use protection but i know that if he was to cheat he always would as he’s told me when he was younger and would cheat on his BM that he was always safe. he’s cheated enough on his BM to be more or less professional at it now if he wanted to. which is why things like me seeing him messaging escorts, i feel may possibly be “harmless” as he’d have tried harder to cover it up.

hes not particularly secretive with his phone and i often play on it or have a nosey through and he knows this and is fine about it.
like he is very honest and open about stuff when i ask, but things keep creeping up which is making me skeptical.

I agree with previous poster I've never believed the whole "posh wank" thing... I would suspect cheating tbh on that basis. I couldn't get too upset about ED pills, it's a lot of pressure for guys when they have a problem or a medical condition and they can be a real help.