Found Tadalafil in boyfriends bag, multiple boxes.

[scouse1994]

a few months back, i was emptying my boyfriends bag that he takes to work with him, and found two empty boxes of tadalafil. i never approached him about it after a quick google search as i saw it was for ED and although we have a very healthy sex life, i know he has a testicular torsion he will not get operated on as they said there’s a (LOW) chance he may lose his ability to finish. he decided against it, and despite the pain when we have sex of a morning, he always finishes. that being said, i can feel him getting soft and can tell he is struggling due to the pain.

other than that, our sex life is good and healthy and a session can last anywhere from 15 mins up to 2 hours at times, although 2 hours was earlier on in our relationship. (this may be due to the tadalafil)

however, i was going through his coat pockets yesterday and found another box. the date had almost fully wiped off but i could make out 22/08 meaning they’re from august this year cause why else would he still have them on his persons as he threw away the previous ones. there has been some incidents recently where i’ve been led to believe he may be cheating (FOUND A CONDOM WRAPPER IN HIS BAG, HE SAID IT WAS FROM A “POSH WANK” IN WORK), and he often has to stay in work in a different town from the city we live in, multiple times a week sometimes.

i don’t know what to do..

Sometimes people in open/kinky relationships cheat anyway, because it's not just about being able to involve other people for them: they're getting something out of the deceit, I guess.

Maybe it's a powerplay over their partner, or antagonism to "rules", maybe it's a kink in itself.

It's odd because often people in the lifestyle talk a good game about honesty, consent and openness, but IME they're just as prone to break promises and cross lines as the 'nillas.

@category12 that's a really interesting observation. I think with my ex there was certainly some aspect of the deceit being part of a kink in itself. I think he got off on feeling he'd got the upper hand/got away with something. He was deceitful in other areas of his life too and went into what I can only describe as narcissistic rage if he was challenged/caught out.

I turned a blind eye and forgave many, many (too many) instances, which he always minimised and turned around to make himself into the victim (I shouldn't have looked/well, I'd done x,y,z so it was all my fault/he was free to do whatever he wanted etc). On the other hand, when he wanted to be, he was very generous and charming. I think he was a very damaged individual, but I put up with his behaviour for nearly 4 years because I wasn't in a good place myself (had just left a marriage where ex-h was arrested for stalking and coercive control). He nearly destroyed me during that time.

Take it from someone probably much older than you, OP, I've walked in your shoes. It nearly killed me.

Thankfully kinky ex is now making moves to get back with his ex-wife. I pity her. Maybe he treats her better, he's been "secretly" having a more than platonic friendship with her ever since we got together, so maybe she gets off on the deceit just as much as he does.